WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) -- In an indication that he has reached his breaking point with the Speaker of the House, Donald J. Trump is offering a hundred and thirty thousand dollars to keep Nancy Pelosi quiet, White House aides confirmed on Thursday. Trump's effort to mute Pelosi faces a number of obstacles, however, including the fact that the person who has crafted such agreements for Trump in the past, Michael Cohen, is not available to perform such a service now.
Fender Musical Instruments Corp (FMIC) today announced the acquisition of the Bigsby brand and its assets from Fred Gretsch Enterprises.
Read the Letter Trump's Immigrant Grandpa Wrote Begging Not to Be Deported "Why should we be deported? This is very, very hard for a family." read more
Sister Wendy Beckett, a Roman Catholic nun who interrupted a cloistered life of prayer in England in 1991 and soared to international stardom with lyrical BBC documentaries that made her one of the most improbable art critics in television history, died on Wednesday in the village of East Harling, England. She was 88.
Philadelphia grind maniacs Total F------ Destruction -- led by former Brutal Truth drummer Richard Hoak -- have led their own campaign of musical destruction for the past two decades, leaving behind a trail of carnage in the form of splits, EPs and full-lengths. The latest confirmed kill is their fourth LP, the aptly-titled #USA4TFD