"You couldn't live openly"
That's the irony of it all.
I'm probably living as open as you are.
Everyone where I work knows I'm a married man with...ummm...a propensity for the male personality and physique. We don't talk about it but I don't put on the "straight act" for anyone. Ask closeted gay men how it's done at work. They know. I never flirt or make sexual innuendo. But it's hard to see attractive masculine men without being a little flushed. I avoid eye contact which only makes matters worse.
And all my family knows.
Everyone. I've dealt with this by being completely honest with everyone and honest with myself.
I've always believed the only way a man in my situation could have a marriage with a woman would require total honesty and commitment.
No..you're wrong about me. I am very open. Just don't sit around around talking about it nonstop.
Hell...I even talk about it here. I think I find that slightly therapeutic. I'm not ashamed of who I am. But to be honest, I'd love to know how it feels to be really straight. A lot of gay men feel the same way if they would admit it.
I did reject that lifestyle for myself but I've never suggested other people should do the same. Without God in the marriage, I do wonder if it would be possible to make this work. And believe me...it does work.
But you can not put me in a box or accuse me of being dishonest with myself.
If my life has had one theme, it's been finding ways to understand and create order out of the conflicts of life.
But don't ever think I don't live openly.