When Speaker of the House Pelosi came in she was going to kick some Republican ass. Instead she carressed and fondled. What a disappointment! Get her out of my sight!

But seriously, folks, BlackBerry was a Canadian design. Check it out: Research In Motion, Waterloo, Ontario

McCain has blackberries in his Depends, but I don't think he said he invented them. He "discovered" them while onstage with Palin!

Monkey see, monkey do.

Bush = (retarded) monkey

... except monkeys don't lie about it afterwards and call people naive!

"Can you imagine the operation? Falling barrel prices. A little wind. Shut everything down. Notify the press. Raise prices. Sell out! Perfect capitalism."

-- Karl Rove

I almost got eye-strain looking out over that Republican Convention crowd of wrinkly old white faces for an uppity colored boy's smile!

I thought Ellen DeGeneres was a pioneer when she bragged she ate Anne Heche's bearded clam for 18 (yes, eighteen) hours in a row.

Anne limped away from that marriage, saying she didn't want to be a lesbian anymore!

A lot of women could vote for John now because they might like an abrasive prick.

I used to drive through Georgia on my way to spring break in Panama City.
-- John McCain

Hurricane threatens Cuba

Cuba pulls out machete and whacks Hurricane

Is there an echo in here?

People go to New Orleans for seven reasons (food, alcohol, drugs, music, history, art, and sex) and flooding ain't one of them!

I want to keep the area safe for my personal self-centered reasons: the town is a great vacation spot, sort of like visiting a European country without the need of a passport. (Of course, I always carry 13 rounds of "mugger away" down there.)

"Maybe Gramps thinks he gets two choices."

You may have hit on something, Danforth. Could we petition Bush to make yet another change in the Constitution before he departs? Seeing the effectiveness of VP Dick, let's try 2 VP's! (This is NOT an endorsement for Bill & Hillary!)

In this article McCain says Biden is a good idea, while in another he criticizes Obama for NOT picking Hillary. I love the way he covers all the bases.

I used to date a good-looking woman who practised TKD. She offered to kick a guy's ass for parking in my space. I tried to keep her very happy and satisfied!

But back to the subject:

The Olympic coverage to me has been a little boring, although you have to love those cheating Chinese. Maybe we should allow participants to "question" all judges decisions by kicking them in some painful area? Or the fourth place finisher could get his/her ass kicked by the medal winners? You know, something to liven up the games.

And if that was not bad enough, the guy was head of his local Teamsters and had to hold meetings with tread-shaped bruises painfully evident!

When he fell off, the Harley made one more circle -- like it had a mind of it's own. The guy wasn't hurt, just VERY embarrassed!

I once saw a drunk Shriner, who was riding his big Harley motorcycle at a slow pace in a parade. He wrecked and somehow ran over his OWN neck. A parade with drunk bikers AND boobs flopping in the breeze will be worth seeing!

I'm not being sexist, but I know a few Arabs, and they don't appreciate having to deal with a woman... much less a lesbian.

First the Olympics, now this forum... Damn you Chinese!

I bet McCain's parents wish they had aborted him!

Hmmm... I wonder if John Edwards is pro-choice.

McCain needs his face removed from Bush's ass. And he deserves a malignant tumor. He's earned it!

Klaatu barata nikto!

If the guy had only taken a course at the O. bin Laden Islamic Heavy Equipment School for Terrorists...

I'm afraid with that low score (16) he wasn't going to amount to much anyway! Probably couldn't even get his GED! Like a child left behind.

A simple case: Tit for tat.