Oh come on. Some of the Amazon reviews are riveting!
A few reviews of "Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer":
"For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I'll call it South Side Story.
Banana slicer...thanks to you, I see greatness on the horizon."
"works perfectly for all my right curved bananas. highly recommend, hoping they come out with left curved cutter next!"
I can't believe this slicer is listed as "great for cereal." I tried slicing Cheerios, Trix, Corn Flakes, and Chex, and each ended up crumily smashed, not neatly sliced. What's worse, this thing is nigh useless on Cream of Wheat."