Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Tuesday, July 16, 2019

"Furthermore, if it made it far enough we could create meth-gators in Shoal Creek and the Tennessee River down in North Alabama," police wrote. "They've had enough methed up animals the past few weeks without our help. So, if you need to dispose of your drugs just give us a call and we will make sure they are disposed of in the proper way."

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end the Prohibition and this is solved.

#1 | Posted by ichiro at 2019-07-16 04:00 PM | Reply

Of course we have Meth-Crocodiles. How could we not have Meth-Crocodiles?

#2 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2019-07-16 04:32 PM | Reply

Hmmm. Maybe I could make them more powerful with cybernetics....

#3 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2019-07-16 04:40 PM | Reply

Yeah, and it's really starting to get out of hand.

They're setting up tents and aggressively panhandling along Route 1 in Daytona.

#4 | Posted by SheepleSchism at 2019-07-16 04:52 PM | Reply

We can send in the second-string for this stuff. I need to defend Florida.

#5 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2019-07-16 05:43 PM | Reply

Methgators will rake your yard, clean your gutters, wack your weeds, and trim your shrubbery (keep an eye on 'em) for very reasonable wages. Just make sure they finish the job, and don't pay 'em till they're done for that day. You will have to pay them in cash, and you will not see or hear from them for at least five days, and they'll be begging for more work, when you know they're only good for one day....

#6 | Posted by Spork at 2019-07-16 07:41 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

tweek-ators?

#7 | Posted by Tor at 2019-07-16 08:11 PM | Reply

#6 Ok, that's all I need. I'm going in. Strike X, we have mission.

#8 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2019-07-16 08:23 PM | Reply

Yeah let's listen to a bunch of high school dropouts and brainwashed combat vets warn us about fake science threats.

Most these cops would probably doubt climate change too.

#9 | Posted by SpeakSoftly at 2019-07-16 09:08 PM | Reply

or as they're known in the hood..."dem ho's dat GOOSE_BOi be datin'"

#10 | Posted by 1947steamer at 2019-07-17 12:16 AM | Reply | Funny: 3

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so the alligator traveled to New York City...gonna' take a shot at Broadway, told his agent he'd studied meth-od acting...started out as a youngster in summer stock playing the part of a wallet
his last summer stock production, he'd grown considerably, he played Blanche DuBois's suitcase in "Streetcar"

#11 | Posted by ABlock at 2019-07-17 12:28 AM | Reply | Funny: 3

Let's see, jail or one more methagator?
I'm going with one more methagator.

#12 | Posted by bayviking at 2019-07-17 01:29 AM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

Let's see, jail or one more methagator?
I'm going with one more methagator.
#12 | POSTED BY BAYVIKING AT 2019-07-17 01:29 AM

My thoughts too. What a pity that drugs aren't being decriminalized totally.

So, the police have not groomed a safe and trusting relationship with their communities and still expect people they harass and incarcerate to just turn themselves in. This story is a lie, some other objective is being formed, imo.

#13 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2019-07-17 06:05 PM | Reply

#6 Ok, that's all I need. I'm going in. Strike X, we have mission.
#8 | POSTED BY HELIUMRAT AT 2019-07-16 08:23 PM

Each of us faces a clear moral choice.

#14 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2019-07-17 06:13 PM | Reply

Methgators = gators missing many of their teeth. It's a winning combo. If I am ever attacked by a gator I want it to be a toothless, skinny methgator.

#15 | Posted by danni at 2019-07-18 08:57 AM | Reply

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