Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Sunday, June 16, 2019

BREVARD COUNTY, Fla (WFLA). – A Florida man has been arrested and charged after the Palm Bay Police Department said he stole pool floats for sex "instead of raping woman." The Brevard Times reports Christopher Monnin,35, was stopped on Thursday around 1:30 a.m. by Palm Bay Police for acting suspiciously. Police say Monnin had with him a white garbage bag full of what he identified to police as deflated pool floats. According to the Brevard Times, Monnin admitted to police that he has burglarized several houses to steal pool floats and then led police to a vacant house where a had a stash of about 75 pool floats. Monnin told authorities that he "sexually gratifies himself" with the pool floats instead of raping women. He was arrested and charged with burglary of an occupied dwelling, criminal mischief, and petit theft.


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Why oh why Florida man?


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Pool floats?

This thing?


Or one of these things?


And I don't understand why did he have to steal these? These are cheap.. why not buy?

#1 | Posted by J_Tremain at 2019-06-16 09:01 AM | Reply

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into Florida...

#2 | Posted by TrueBlue at 2019-06-17 03:23 AM | Reply

Remember the guy in Hong Kong who was trying to have sex with a park bench and got his weenie stuck in a hole?

Man gets penis stuck in park bench

A MAN is lucky to still have a penis after it became wedged in a metal park bench, forcing rescuers to cut it free over several hours.

Doctors had tried to drain some of Mr Xing's blood in an attempt to loosen his penis, but to no avail.

Rescuers eventually cut away part of the bench and Mr Xing was taken to hospital where doctors took another four hours to free him.


#3 | Posted by AMERICANUNITY at 2019-06-17 03:43 AM | Reply

This is just about the most Florida story I have ever read.

#4 | Posted by Nixon at 2019-06-17 10:48 AM | Reply

Did the police return the pool floats to their rightful owners? Did anyone want them back?

#5 | Posted by visitor_ at 2019-06-17 02:03 PM | Reply

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