Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Sunday, April 14, 2019

A large, flightless bird native to Australia and New Guinea attacked and killed its owner when the man fell on his property in Florida, authorities said Saturday.

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"One of these days, pal. One of these days," the bird said multiple times in the months leading up to this. As it was being led away, it told reporters on the scene, "ya, I did it, and I'd do it again!!"

#1 | Posted by AMERICANUNITY at 2019-04-13 08:43 PM | Reply

Fleas come with the dog...

#2 | Posted by Angrydad at 2019-04-13 10:13 PM | Reply

Police are reporting the bird can't be charged as an adult because it's a mynah bird.

#3 | Posted by snoofy at 2019-04-13 10:22 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

Just imagine the yummy drumsticks that take up you whole table.

#4 | Posted by Spork at 2019-04-13 10:34 PM | Reply

#4 That is what the bird said.

#5 | Posted by bored at 2019-04-13 10:40 PM | Reply

I've never heard of this bird before. After watching some YouTube videos of the Cassowary, it's pretty clear this bird is dangerous under any circumstances. When attacking, they jump nearly 4' in the air with both feet and can disembowel a human with their dagger-like inner talons as they stab then slice downwards.

#6 | Posted by AMERICANUNITY at 2019-04-14 01:10 AM | Reply

Can we buy one for Presnit Dumbphek?

#7 | Posted by oldwhiskeysour at 2019-04-14 10:04 AM | Reply

Just imagine the yummy drumsticks that take up you whole table.

#4 | Posted by Spork

It is a runner ace. Drumsticks are mostly tendon.

#8 | Posted by Sniper at 2019-04-14 12:23 PM | Reply

Working with large animals comes with risk... who knew?

#9 | Posted by RightisTrite at 2019-04-14 04:20 PM | Reply

In Florida, the police files this kind of case under Dumb things white people do. The same goes with getting killed by your pet python, gator, tarantula, and other dangerous animal

Because, no you don't see colored folk do stupid s*it like this.

#10 | Posted by MisterCarajo at 2019-04-14 05:16 PM | Reply

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Can a tarantula kill you? I've camped with a million of them here in AZ.

#11 | Posted by bruceaz at 2019-04-14 06:06 PM | Reply

Can a tarantula kill you? I've camped with a million of them here in AZ.

#11 | POSTED BY BRUCEAZ AT 2019-04-14 06:06 PM | FLAG:

I once had a roommate who owned a pet tarantula. I never understood the appeal. He'd get it out of its aquarium-like home now and then. That little fellow could jump! Freaky and could bite, but not poisonous to humans.

#12 | Posted by cbob at 2019-04-15 05:53 AM | Reply

Birds are living dinosaurs. A Cassowary is the most dangerous bird on the planet, think of a four foot tall chicken with a bad attitude and equipped with a couple of four inch knives on their feet. Some animals are not pets. Tigers aren't. Lions aren't. Poisonous snakes aren't. As for myself, I always liked dogs.

#13 | Posted by docnjo at 2019-04-15 07:20 AM | Reply

Watching that thing run must be how what a dinosaur's prey saw before it was eaten by them.

Just look at how that thing moves..

www.youtube.com

#14 | Posted by boaz at 2019-04-15 01:34 PM | Reply

#14 | Posted by boaz

I saw a YouTube video of a reporter visiting a zoo that had three of them. They went inside the cassowaries enclosure. Not a minute later one of the zookeepers was explaining how the Cassowaries were working as a team to flank the keepers and reporter.

Just like the Velociraptors in Jurassic Park.

#15 | Posted by AMERICANUNITY at 2019-04-15 01:43 PM | Reply

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