Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Saturday, January 26, 2019

PHILADELPHIA -- A group of local crust punks selflessly offered to help furloughed "bootlicking peons of the bloated and immoral federal government" yesterday by teaching them to survive without money, several confused sources confirmed.
...the crusties hope to assist by helping them attain basic necessities such as food, beer, dog food, and bandanas.
"Living off the grid as long as I have, you pick up so many essential skills," said Rhodes' associate, Sylvie Figueroa. "And I really feel for these poor suckers, having to work for no money. I know exactly what that's like, minus the work."

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Drudge Retort