Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Wednesday, January 09, 2019

Astronomers have revealed details of mysterious signals emanating from a distant galaxy, picked up by a telescope in Canada. The precise nature and origin of the blasts of radio waves is unknown.

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It used to be only the Beavers could receive them. But now it's out in the open because they can't hide it any more.

It's coming folks, it's coming. It will be a total apocalypse, and it will taste liek molasses.

#1 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2019-01-09 05:27 PM | Reply

These mysterious signals are being beamed only to Canada?

Wow. But, can you blame the Aliens for not talking to us Americans first?

Look who is in charge here. President Comancho.

It has to be painfully obvious to them that we Americans are NOT the ones in charge around here any more.

#2 | Posted by donnerboy at 2019-01-09 08:11 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

Hbrat picks up the same signals on his tin foil MAGA cap.

#3 | Posted by Corky at 2019-01-09 08:16 PM | Reply

Right up there with Cold Fusion.

#4 | Posted by bayviking at 2019-01-09 11:37 PM | Reply

Right up there with Cold Fusion.
#4 | POSTED BY BAYVIKING AT 2019-01-09 11:37 PM

Cold Fusion: How it works

#5 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2019-01-10 03:36 AM | Reply

"It used to be only the Beavers could receive them. But now it's out in the open because they can't hide it any more"

What a sexist comment...

#6 | Posted by lfthndthrds at 2019-01-10 07:01 AM | Reply | Funny: 1

I wonder if they're coming from a Blazer?
We finally had a neutrino detected in Antarctica - and know where it came from. I'd be interested in seeing if it's even in the same quadrant!

#7 | Posted by YAV at 2019-01-10 07:55 AM | Reply

I decoded the messages. They say, 'it's got electrolytes'. Apparently, the signal of Idiocracy just got there.

#8 | Posted by kudzu at 2019-01-10 09:19 AM | Reply

Right up there with Cold Fusion.

#4 | Posted by bayviking at 2019-01-09 11:37 PM

Are you suggesting these radio bursts were not received?

#9 | Posted by SunTzuMeow at 2019-01-10 09:26 AM | Reply

NASA just decoded them.

"Earthlings!"

Don't panic!

But, there is an Huge Orange Growth on your Planet!

Sorry but we will have to Quarantine your Planet.

WE cannot afford to allow you to infect the rest of the Galaxy.

Good Luck.

And

"bye bye"

#10 | Posted by donnerboy at 2019-01-10 05:13 PM | Reply

Has anybody checked if the dolphins are still here?

#11 | Posted by jpw at 2019-01-10 05:25 PM | Reply

Has anybody checked if the dolphins are still here?

#11 | Posted by jpw

good point!

Don't panic... And don't forget your Towel.

#12 | Posted by donnerboy at 2019-01-10 05:58 PM | Reply

Hm. The mice have been staring at me. It's been uncomfortable.

#13 | Posted by YAV at 2019-01-10 06:01 PM | Reply

used to be only the Beavers could receive them

Beavers in Texas are a lot nicer. Who wants to go near frozen Canadian beaver much less talk to it?

#14 | Posted by J_Tremain at 2019-01-11 10:13 AM | Reply

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