Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Monday, February 12, 2018

Nigel, a handsome gannet bird who lived on a desolate island off the coast of New Zealand, died suddenly this week. Wherever his soul has landed, the singles scene surely cannot be worse. The bird was lured to Mana Island three years ago by wildlife officials who, in hopes of establishing a gannet colony there, had placed concrete gannet decoys on cliffsides and broadcast the sound of the species' calls. Nigel accepted the invitation, arriving in 2015 as the island's first gannet in 40 years. But none of his brethren joined him. In the absence of a living love interest, Nigel became enamored with one of the 80 faux birds. He built her -- it? -- a nest. He groomed her "chilly, concrete feathers ... year after year after year," the Guardian reported. He died next to her in that unrequited love nest, the vibrant orange-yellow plumage of his head contrasting, as ever, with the weathered, lemony paint of hers.

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"Whether or not he was lonely, he certainly never got anything back, and that must have been [a] very strange experience," conservation ranger Chris Bell, who also lives on the island, told the paper. "I think we all have a lot of empathy for him, because he had this fairly hopeless situation."

As he persisted in this futile courtship, Nigel accrued something of a fan base. Mana is a scientific reserve that, like other New Zealand islands, has been the focus of replanting and rodent eradication efforts. Friends of Mana Island, one of the groups that has planted trees and shrubs, said on Facebook that Nigel "won the hearts" of members and volunteers who "spent many hours over the years maintaining the concrete colony."

Comments

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Conservationists fooled this bird into living a loveless life.

#1 | Posted by GOnoles92 at 2018-02-10 09:37 PM | Reply

#1 Dotard did the same to Melania, but used $$$$ to lure her.

#2 | Posted by 726 at 2018-02-12 07:13 AM | Reply

Well, that's a sad little story. Sweet, in a sad way...

#3 | Posted by cbob at 2018-02-12 02:51 PM | Reply

They couldn't import a second bird?

#4 | Posted by Tor at 2018-02-12 10:25 PM | Reply

Geez. They got me feeling sorry for some bird I never met, named Nigel who I never heard of, who died off the coast of New Zealand. What the ----? It's not as if there aren't enough human tragedies happening all around me on a daily basis.

#5 | Posted by moder8 at 2018-02-13 02:06 PM | Reply

We need more Nigels in the world.

#6 | Posted by SheepleSchism at 2018-02-13 06:33 PM | Reply

"Happy Valentine's Day," whispers Nigel to his cold and mute beloved.

#7 | Posted by GOnoles92 at 2018-02-13 11:10 PM | Reply

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