Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Saturday, January 27, 2018

A snake owner was killed by an 8-foot pet python he called his "baby," an inquest has heard. Daniel Brandon, 31, died from asphyxiation at his home near Basingstoke, Hampshire, on August 25. One of the pets -- a female African rock python named Tiny -- was found near his body, out of its pen. Coroner Andrew Bradley said there was no doubt Brandon died "as a result of contact with Tiny" and he recorded a verdict of misadventure. Brandon had kept snakes for 16 years and Tiny was one of 10 snakes and 12 tarantulas he kept in his room at the family home, North Hampshire Coroner's Court heard.

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Last words: "Nah, he's harmless. He always does this"

#1 | Posted by SheepleSchism at 2018-01-25 07:01 PM | Reply | Funny: 2

I hate snakes, Jock. I HATE 'em!

#2 | Posted by IndianaJones at 2018-01-25 07:33 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

The snake forgot the safe word.

#3 | Posted by Whizzo at 2018-01-26 08:08 PM | Reply

For sure a Darwin Award winner.

#4 | Posted by aborted_monson at 2018-01-27 04:22 PM | Reply

Large snakes are a stupid pet usually for stupid people.

#5 | Posted by Tor at 2018-01-27 04:28 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

Brandon had kept snakes for 16 years and Tiny was one of 10 snakes and 12 tarantulas he kept in his room at the family home

Why can't people have normal hobbies, like streaking, drinking till you puke, and arguing over the cultural impact of In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida?

#6 | Posted by PinchALoaf at 2018-01-27 07:24 PM | Reply | Funny: 3

Where is Columbo?! This looks too clean to be the snakes fault. Maybe it was just auto asphyxia and the Snake is unfairly being profiled?

#7 | Posted by VanDamage at 2018-01-28 12:19 AM | Reply

I don't understand people who think a snake is a pet. Or, for that matter, any animal that looks at me and thinks "lunch."

#8 | Posted by Twinpac at 2018-01-28 02:09 AM | Reply

Twin, can't believe you said that, doesn't most guys "think Lunch" :)

#9 | Posted by Crassus at 2018-01-28 02:14 AM | Reply

CARASSUS

Not head and shoulder's first. ~ LOL

#10 | Posted by Twinpac at 2018-01-28 02:28 AM | Reply

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Yep, guys tend to look down first - LOL!

Worry when the eyes dilate :0

#11 | Posted by Crassus at 2018-01-28 02:34 AM | Reply

Have you ever reached into your pocket and thought oooh licorice and pulled it out, and it's a snake, cuz I have....
-Frankie

#12 | Posted by kwrx25 at 2018-01-28 05:08 PM | Reply

KWRX

No, but I walked into my bedroom one night and noticed that I had dropped a belt on the floor. Then I remembered I had not been wearing a belt. I turned on the light. It was a harmless blacksnake.

No, I didn't hurt it. I got one of my tall riding boots, ushered the snake into it and turned it loose in the woods.

#13 | Posted by Twinpac at 2018-01-28 06:56 PM | Reply

I got one of my tall riding boots, ushered the snake into it and turned it loose in the woods.

I would have applied the boot in a different fashion, but that's just me.

Fortunately winter takes care of those creepy crawly things here.

#14 | Posted by REDIAL at 2018-01-28 07:18 PM | Reply

REDIAL

I'd never kill a blacksnake. They're good to have around the barn.

#15 | Posted by Twinpac at 2018-01-28 07:29 PM | Reply

Ok. I'm pretty sure I would since seeing one would freak me out.

#16 | Posted by REDIAL at 2018-01-28 07:37 PM | Reply

The owner never heard that choking his python can make him go blind!

#17 | Posted by Crassus at 2018-01-28 09:49 PM | Reply

REDIAL

Naw ~ she was harmless.

#18 | Posted by Twinpac at 2018-01-29 02:46 AM | Reply

#8 | POSTED BY TWINPAC

I don't get why people have pet horses. We invented the motorcycle already.

#19 | Posted by IndianaJones at 2018-01-29 01:16 PM | Reply

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