Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Wednesday, January 24, 2018

We're about to watch the crowd that tried to impeach Bill Clinton over a blowjob suddenly decry puritanism if it turns out Trump is having an affair.

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If evangelicals were capable of shame, they would have watched in horror last week as the civilized world learned that their Orange Messiah was accused of having an affair with porn star Stormy Daniels while his third wife Melania tended to their newborn son. (In fairness to the Religious Right, these allegations are significantly less awful than Roy Moore's Child Rape Revival that they endorsed in droves, so ... praise Jesus?) There were also tawdry details about Trump allegedly telling Daniels that she looked just like Ivanka in case everyone forgot all of those times that the President of the United States said he'd bang his own daughter. (Once again, in fairness to superstitious looney bins, tons of incest in the Bible. Just loads of it.) ... But here's the truly fucked up part, America knew who Donald Trump was before the white, Bible-humping parts elected him president. Why would he change now? The crazy bastard actually believes he won the popular vote, and he tweets five times a day that he's the bestest president that ever presidented. Self-reflection isn't going to be an issue here. If his orange butthole mouth woofed down McDonald's and extramarital affairs before the election, then dammit, his orange butthole mouth is going to keep doing it after the election because that's his reward. He's the president, and you're not.

And to really make your goddamn head explode, we're about to watch the crowd that tried to impeach Bill Clinton over a blowjob decry puritanism out of one side of their mouths while simultaneously letting health workers refuse treatment to LBGT patients because we're not allowed to burn witches in a modern society. For now.

"But what the president does in the Lincoln Bedroom next to a bucket of KFC is his business. Who are we to judge?" is what you're about to hear from someone trying to make it legal to fire a bazooka into a Planned Parenthood.

God bless America.

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If?

What the hell do they think Hope Hicks is there for?

#1 | Posted by IndianaJones at 2018-01-24 12:30 PM | Reply | Funny: 3

Who is Trump Screwing? (Besides Everyone in America)

A porn star with two big ole fake -------?

#2 | Posted by PinchALoaf at 2018-01-24 03:55 PM | Reply

It's Pence. That guy has self-loathing closeted gay man written all over him.

#3 | Posted by jpw at 2018-01-24 05:46 PM | Reply

Ivanka?

#4 | Posted by donnerboy at 2018-01-24 05:49 PM | Reply

I liked the headline the other day about how the evangelicals lost their gag reflex over Trump. Whoever came up with that.... nice work.

#5 | Posted by lfthndthrds at 2018-01-24 09:23 PM | Reply

I liked the headline the other day about how the evangelicals lost their gag reflex over Trump....

#5 | POSTED BY LFTHNDTHRDS

They didn't lose their 'gag-reflex' over Trump.

They were 'closeted' and they lost their 'gag-reflex' for a completely different reason.

#6 | Posted by JeffJ at 2018-01-24 09:26 PM | Reply

Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

#7 | Posted by reinheitsgebot at 2018-01-24 09:27 PM | Reply

"We're about to watch the crowd that tried to impeach Bill Clinton over a ------- suddenly decry puritanism if it turns out Trump is having an affair."

We've been watching the crowd that decried the impeachment of Bill Clinton over obstruction of justice and other crimes that ordinary people have died in jail for suddenly become puritans and obsessed with a 72 year old man's sex life in hopes they can remove him from office over it. Might as well collect the whole set.

#8 | Posted by sentinel at 2018-01-25 10:33 AM | Reply

Just to be clear, I don't give a ---- about Clinton's or Trump's personal indiscretions, but when they commit crimes or abuse the office to try to cover up those indiscretions then they deserve to go down.

#9 | Posted by sentinel at 2018-01-25 10:36 AM | Reply

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