Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Sunday, January 21, 2018

Megan Phelps-Roper grew up in the Westboro Baptist Church and was picketing with signs like "gays are worthy of death" at the age of five. She left 20 years later because strangers on Twitter changed her mind. "Initially, the people I encountered on the platform were just as hostile as I expected," she says. But slowly that changed. They started to ask about her beliefs, and she asked about theirs. Their conversations planted seeds of doubt, and slowly her entire worldview shifted -- eventually driving her to leave the church (and the beliefs that came with it) behind. In Megan's TED Talk, she urges all of us to talk and to listen to the people we disagree with. Here, in her words, are her tips for how to have effective conversations:

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1. Don't assume bad intent. Assuming ill motives almost instantly cuts us off from truly understanding why someone does and believes as they do.

2. Ask questions. When we engage people across ideological divides, asking questions helps us map the disconnect between our differing points of view.

3. Stay calm. This takes practice and patience, but it's powerful.

4. Make the argument. This might seem obvious, but one side effect of having strong beliefs is we sometimes assume that the value of our position is, or should be, obvious and self-evident; that we shouldn't have to defend our positions because they're so clearly right and good; that if someone doesn't get it, it's their problem -- that it's not my job to educate them. But if it were that simple, we would all see things the same way.

Here's the 15 minute TED talk; blob:https://embed.ted.com/dfdbc42f-bda0-4a9c-9e3b-482012160a6b

Comments

Admin's note: Participants in this discussion must follow the site's moderation policy. Profanity will be filtered. Abusive conduct is not allowed.

Good link, TED talk;
www.google.com

#1 | Posted by Whizzo at 2018-01-21 01:38 PM | Reply

#2 be racist, then get upset when someone points it out, then overcompensate by bringing it up endlessly and doubling down on your behavior.

Best way to describe too many people right now.

#3 | Posted by BruceBanner at 2018-01-21 06:14 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

Give them the chance to not answer a question, three times.

It's in The Bible or something.

#5 | Posted by snoofy at 2018-01-21 07:31 PM | Reply

don't

#6 | Posted by fresno500 at 2018-01-21 07:32 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 2

We don't need a right-wing pity party on this thread.

#7 | Posted by rcade at 2018-01-22 12:02 AM | Reply | Funny: 1

In response to a dopey message I just deleted: This could have been a good front-page discussion, but instead right wingers wanted to use it to bitch and mope about how they are treated here.

You never tire of a belief in your own persecution, even when you keep coming back to the Retort for more. Either you're not persecuted or you're a masochist. There is no third possibility.

#9 | Posted by rcade at 2018-01-22 01:08 AM | Reply

I thought masochism was a given 'round these parts. I just might be outing myself.

#10 | Posted by rstybeach11 at 2018-01-22 02:23 AM | Reply

I think it would help to stop asking loaded questions and then assigning your own reasons (usually guilt laden) for why you're not getting an answer. Harrassing another poster is a sure sign that you're only lookins for someone to argue with.

And it would be helpful if posters would stop splitting hairs to derail the thread.

And don't be so partisan that you think someone with an "R" or "D" after their name is a mantra from heaven.

#11 | Posted by Twinpac at 2018-01-22 04:47 AM | Reply

Apparently there is no disagreements here just out of bound right wingers. And with that in mind this discussion will be short lived. You all agree with each other for the most part.

#12 | Posted by Crassus at 2018-01-22 06:56 AM | Reply

Apparently there is no disagreements here just out of bound right wingers.

Instead of discussing them you are trying to get the pity party going again.

#13 | Posted by rcade at 2018-01-22 09:17 AM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

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Things get crazy here for the 4 reasons cited.

It's worse with posters who know each other and they aren't really arguing the issue but against each other's already known ideologies.

Assuming bad intent with a comment is probably the worst of the worst of what we are guilty of here. Someone asks a question and their intent and direction is already assumed and they get hit with accusations before anybody even attempts to address the question objectively.

#14 | Posted by eberly at 2018-01-22 09:33 AM | Reply | Newsworthy 2

Instead of discussing them you are trying to get the pity party going again. - #13 | Posted by rcade at 2018-01-22 09:17 AM

An honest question: Is any discussion about the differences between how people espousing conservative views and liberal views are treated NOT seen as a pity party? Really, when the mod owner starts off by belittling the very subject, is there any way to expect a reasonable, adult conversation? As always, it is your site, the answer could very well be 'No', but I thought I'd at least ask the question.

#15 | Posted by Avigdore at 2018-01-22 12:25 PM | Reply

-Separating topics in case one goes missing-

There is no third possibility. - #9 | Posted by rcade at 2018-01-22 01:08 AM
There is a third possibility. If you recall around the 2016 election there was a lot of discussion about
information bubbles and echo chambers and how people were avoiding the views of the 'other side'. I decided that I would attempt to try to have real discussion with folks about what they believed and what they thought was important. I visit a few sites pretty regularly, read the articles that they link to (and often times those article's source material) and attempt to engage with people about them. I'm sorry that you don't see trying to rectify problems that were identified during the last election as a possibility. I'm sure it is one of many things that we don't agree on. Let's discuss those things.

#16 | Posted by Avigdore at 2018-01-22 12:25 PM | Reply

Assuming bad intent with a comment is probably the worst of the worst of what we are guilty of here. Someone asks a question and their intent and direction is already assumed and they get hit with accusations before anybody even attempts to address the question objectively.

#14 | POSTED BY EBERLY

Yes. This. It happens all day, every day. And not just on this site.

#17 | Posted by JeffJ at 2018-01-22 12:35 PM | Reply

Rcade, regarding my #16: If your #9 was targeted directly to someone's comments that you deleted (on 2 possibilities for them specifically), then ignore the 'There is a third possibility' from my #16.

#18 | Posted by Avigdore at 2018-01-22 12:54 PM | Reply

It's worse with posters who know each other and they aren't really arguing the issue but against each other's already known ideologies.
Assuming bad intent with a comment is probably the worst of the worst of what we are guilty of here. Someone asks a question and their intent and direction is already assumed and they get hit with accusations before anybody even attempts to address the question objectively.
#14 | POSTED BY EBERLY

I enjoy reading comments here, even those that don't jive with mine. A lot of the comments here come from deep conviction and are thought out. Interesting points are made.
I have modified my views on some issues as a result.
I tend to stop reading the threads when a string of comments begin with things like, 'You ------' or end with, 'I hate your party and you're one of them'.
I sometimes smile when I read an intelligent, persuasive argument that then ends with a description of the other poster's mental state and an insulting name.

#19 | Posted by Whizzo at 2018-01-22 01:28 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 3

Listening to, and carefully considering opposing points of view is how we grow intellectually. One of the reasons I come to this site is for the opposing points of view. I really enjoy civil discourse with those whom I disagree. I've changed my views on a number of issues due to persuasive arguments I hadn't considered. I've also hardened my views on other issues after hearing persuasive arguments I hadn't considered.

#20 | Posted by JeffJ at 2018-01-22 01:31 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 2

Is any discussion about the differences between how people espousing conservative views and liberal views are treated NOT seen as a pity party?

Only rarely.

#21 | Posted by rcade at 2018-01-22 02:27 PM | Reply

"I enjoy reading comments here, even those that don't jive with mine. A lot of the comments here come from deep conviction and are thought out. Interesting points are made.
I have modified my views on some issues as a result.
I tend to stop reading the threads when a string of comments begin with things like, 'You ------' or end with, 'I hate your party and you're one of them'."

Here Here!!

#22 | Posted by eberly at 2018-01-22 02:32 PM | Reply

"Listening to, and carefully considering opposing points of view is how we grow intellectually. One of the reasons I come to this site is for the opposing points of view. I really enjoy civil discourse with those whom I disagree. I've changed my views on a number of issues due to persuasive arguments I hadn't considered. I've also hardened my views on other issues after hearing persuasive arguments I hadn't considered."

It's become obvious there is a faction of people here who despise you for that. They prefer pig headed folks like themselves who are on the opposite side of the fence on every issue, hurl personal insults and lob you in with a party or ideology.

You take that away from them when you are on the fence or even on their side of the fence and you're not rude. They absolutely hate that.

Look at the folks who are constantly ravaging you on this place and you see who I'm referring to.

#23 | Posted by eberly at 2018-01-22 02:35 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 2

You never tire of a belief in your own persecution, even when you keep coming back to the Retort for more. Either you're not persecuted or you're a masochist. There is no third possibility.

#9 | POSTED BY RCADE AT 2018-01-22 01:08 AM

Sorry, but I obviously disagree, neither of those alternatives apply to myself and a (sadly dwindling) number of conservatives who post here. As Jeff points out, listening to points of view outside of yours better help you understand the strengths and weaknesses of your position, and at times will get you to change your view on something given information that you didn't already have. I know that there are a number of times since the DR started that I have changed a position because of something posted here and that things I have said or linked to have educated or altered other peoples long held views on things. One example, of many, is a long discussion that Kanrei and I had on the AUMF back during the Bush Administration that more than one person on the DR Left has later referenced as better informing them as to why President Obama was able to use it for other purposes.

There are a number of people who come to this site expecting it to be a "reverberation cubicle" (see what I did there?) and are shocked to see that there is actually an open discourse between people on each side of the issue. Some people see this as a positive thing and become regular posters. Others, who can't accept differing opinions (some of whom are long time posters) only respond to differing views with the 4 options that I posted earlier, which shows the limits of their intellect and/or understanding of the nuances behind every issue. That is fine, we all know who they are (on both sides of the aisle) and they deserve the derision that they get from, well, everyone.

The DR is fairly unique in this regard, in that the "shouting" is limited to a few outliers and even those people can, on occasion, provide something substantive to the discourse. That is what keeps liberals, moderates and conservatives alike coming back to this site repeatedly and frankly makes it a better place.

#24 | Posted by Rightocenter at 2018-01-22 02:45 PM | Reply

I'd like to be ravaged.

#25 | Posted by madscientist at 2018-01-22 03:16 PM | Reply

#26 | Posted by madscientist at 2018-01-22 03:17 PM | Reply

I'd like to be ravaged.
#25 | MADSCIENTIST

Call me.

#27 | Posted by Whizzo at 2018-01-22 03:51 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

Tip 5

Carry flaming tiki torches, say hateful and provocative things and beat anyone who disagrees with you with your flaming tiki torch.

President Trump will call you a very fine person.

#28 | Posted by donnerboy at 2018-01-22 05:19 PM | Reply

Sorry, Whizzo, I was thinking more along the lines of Lynda Carter.

#29 | Posted by madscientist at 2018-01-22 06:02 PM | Reply

Sorry, Whizzo, I was thinking more along the lines of Lynda Carter.

Posted by madscientist at 2018-01-22 06:02 PM | Reply

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#30 | Posted by LauraMohr at 2018-01-22 06:03 PM | Reply

www.gifpal.com

#31 | Posted by madscientist at 2018-01-22 06:42 PM | Reply

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