Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Monday, January 01, 2018

There's something about a new year that gets people reflective about their lives. They think that when the page turns to a new year, the things they need to do to improve their lives will come into focus. Old bad habits are wiped from the slate and forgotten. Start an exercise program, lose weight, get laid more. Travel, read more books, contact forgotten friends. Whatever deficiency they think exists in their life will now be made whole with dedication and willpower. This year I will again make the same simple resolution that I've made for the last several years, Be better in every way. What's yours?





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Two chicks at the same time.

#1 | Posted by cookfish at 2017-12-31 01:41 AM | Reply


Chickens, Ew.

#2 | Posted by Zed at 2017-12-31 07:49 AM | Reply | Funny: 2

#1 You expect to get a million dollars?

#3 | Posted by TaoWarrior at 2017-12-31 08:15 AM | Reply

When given the choice to be right or kind....choose kind.

#4 | Posted by eberly at 2017-12-31 09:38 AM | Reply

When given the choice to be right or kind....choose kind.


considering the lack of self-esteem, the lack of intelligence and the short attention span of society nowadays, I know this is what is expected. leading cattle to the slaughterhouse is much easier if they don't make a ruckus.

#5 | Posted by kudzu at 2017-12-31 10:28 AM | Reply

I resolve to not laugh at Mueller and his bajillion dollar "where's that blue dress" liberal induced charade that has purposely and miserably tried to slow down The Don during his first 365... uh, maybe not.

"you did say unlimited budget"

#6 | Posted by AuntieSocial at 2017-12-31 10:50 AM | Reply

There are a few resolutions I have which I can't post, but of the generic ones I have:

-more displays of gratitude to those around me currently and those in my past.
-Join the 1000lb club.
-At least one industry certification

#7 | Posted by GOnoles92 at 2017-12-31 12:32 PM | Reply

To not make a New Year's resolution.

#8 | Posted by LauraMohr at 2017-12-31 05:03 PM | Reply

not to quit vaping because I will fail at that but to cut back even more then I have so far the amount of nicotine I suck down into my lunges

#9 | Posted by PunchyPossum at 2017-12-31 11:42 PM | Reply

When given the choice to be right or kind....choose kind.

#5 | Posted by kudzu
So you choose neither.

#10 | Posted by Federalist at 2018-01-01 08:20 AM | Reply



My resolution illustrated here

#11 | Posted by kudzu at 2018-01-01 09:09 AM | Reply | Funny: 1

To actively fight against Trump at every opportunity.

#12 | Posted by e1g1 at 2018-01-01 09:56 AM | Reply

To make a more concerted effort to reach out to the inbred, trailer trash, Trump puppets.

#13 | Posted by squinch at 2018-01-01 10:10 AM | Reply

I thought about it but I can't think of a single thing I want to change.

#14 | Posted by Twinpac at 2018-01-01 10:24 AM | Reply

Two chicks at the same time.

#1 | POSTED BY COOKFISH AT 2017-12-31 01:41 AM | REPLY BTDT

Way overrated.

#15 | Posted by RightisTrite at 2018-01-01 10:28 AM | Reply

Cut the cable, reed mor bookz, sell the car, drink less booze

#16 | Posted by hamburglar at 2018-01-01 10:41 AM | Reply

Exercise toward flatter tummy, greater strength, and higher cardiovascular health. No "1000 lb club" but my own PRs

Jump up a level in career. Three papers and two grants

Work less time but be more effective

Be a better teacher

Pay off student loans and buy a house

Spend more time meditating

Be more present in my life and my relationships.

Will consider new career directions.

#17 | Posted by BruceBanner at 2018-01-01 10:43 AM | Reply

#16 what car? Will you be car-free?

#18 | Posted by BruceBanner at 2018-01-01 10:44 AM | Reply

Big ol Mercury Montego, complete with the flaking paint + body rust over the back wheel wells (also seen on Ford 500s and some Tauruses).

Living in the city and walking to work; I'll be doing some math on rentals and Lyft fares, and researching individuals' experiences to see if car-free is realistic. Otherwise, those Mazda 3s and 6s look pretty slick. Would prefer to hold out for the next generation of hybrid and electrics.

#19 | Posted by hamburglar at 2018-01-01 11:31 AM | Reply

To volunteer more, to exercise more, to give up fatty foods...

ahhh who am i kidding, i'd settle for finding out what that odor is when i sit on my couch.

#20 | Posted by truthhurts at 2018-01-01 11:33 AM | Reply

Way overrated.


it sure is. the first time it's kinda exciting, after that, not so much.

#21 | Posted by kudzu at 2018-01-01 11:34 AM | Reply

Going to run a half marathon.

#22 | Posted by eberly at 2018-01-01 12:16 PM | Reply

What Are Your New Year's Resolutions?
On January 1, 2003, I resolved that I would never make another New Year's resolution.

That's one resolution to which I have been 100% faithful.

#23 | Posted by Hans at 2018-01-01 12:21 PM | Reply

"Two chicks at the same time." - #1 | Posted by cookfish at 2017-12-31 01:41 AM

As it turns out, that's one thing you have little-to-no control over.

Which is why, for you apparently, it has never happened.

#24 | Posted by Hans at 2018-01-01 12:23 PM | Reply

My New Year's Resolution is to never make any New Year's Resolutions.

It's all BS, man.

#25 | Posted by J_Tremain at 2018-01-01 12:30 PM | Reply


Hans said it before I did! (should read before I post....)

But that's the way to roll man... don't make any promises. Either do it or don't. Like they say in the great state of Texas, "---- or get off the pot".

#26 | Posted by J_Tremain at 2018-01-01 12:32 PM | Reply

it sure is. the first time it's kinda exciting, after that, not so much.
#21 | KUDZU

Maybe they'll let you join in sometime.

#27 | Posted by Whizzo at 2018-01-01 12:33 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

Less time on the DR.

It's becoming truly depressing seeing just how idiotic and easily led the average person in the US is.

And that's not even getting a cross section of less informed people.

#28 | Posted by jpw at 2018-01-01 03:24 PM | Reply

We'll miss you most of all, scarecrow.

#29 | Posted by cookfish at 2018-01-01 06:19 PM | Reply

I know you will, Cuckfish.

The only rational reason for you continuing to come here is you love the beatings you take on a daily basis.

#30 | Posted by jpw at 2018-01-01 06:51 PM | Reply

To point at, laugh at, and mock the snowflake scum that are treasonous Trump supporters both online and in person. Time to send these scum back to where they came from, Dumbfukistan!

#31 | Posted by aborted_monson at 2018-01-01 08:31 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

Try not to blame all Muslims for terrorist attacks and to only blame the actual Muslims who undoubtly will be conducting the majority of terrorist attacks in the world.

#32 | Posted by boaz at 2018-01-02 09:06 AM | Reply | Funny: 1

Become a CISSP, renew the rest of my professional alphabet soup, take my wife on a mediterranean cruise, lose 20 or more pounds, keep learning.

#33 | Posted by hatter5183 at 2018-01-02 05:45 PM | Reply

Rub it in Boaz face every time he pretends christians commit less terrorist acts than muslims


#34 | Posted by hatter5183 at 2018-01-02 05:50 PM | Reply

Become a CISSP

Best cert out there Hatter. I've been a CISSP for about five years now. I'm also a CAP, a less well known certification, but lucrative as well..

I'm setting my sights on the CCSP this year..

#35 | Posted by boaz at 2018-01-03 12:53 PM | Reply


And as to your #34, as usual with liberals, it's up to the minute definition. A person who kills 2 people, that person just happened to have a confederate flag hanging in their house is labeled right wing, even though the reason they killed wasn't a right wing reason. But with Islamic radicals, we almost certainly know why they killed.

#36 | Posted by boaz at 2018-01-03 12:57 PM | Reply

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