Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Wednesday, December 13, 2017

When hosting a holiday party, perhaps the best part of having everyone over is the collection of unique treats brought by all your friends and family. However, among the bottles of funky red wine, triple-cream cheese, and slice-and-bake cookies, there's always one outlier in the group: A fruitcake. Fruitcake is heavy, both physically (one can weigh the same as a newborn), and on the belly (there's a whole lot of candied fruit in there, plus it's soaked in liquor). Fruitcake is hard to bite into. Fruitcake can stay edible for years. Seriously, what is fruitcake? When taken at face value, fruitcake doesn't seem that bad. A cake made of dried fruit, nuts, and perhaps a bit of liqueur actually sounds quite good. However, if you've ever gnawed at a piece of fruitcake at a holiday shindig, you know there's a lot more to this cake than its description.




Alternate links: Google News | Twitter

Yea or Na on Fruitcake? I'm in the Na group.


Admin's note: Participants in this discussion must follow the site's moderation policy. Profanity will be filtered. Abusive conduct is not allowed.

A GREAT doorstop

#1 | Posted by LauraMohr at 2017-12-13 02:27 PM | Reply

Every year, we say we are not buying one and then end up buying one ... and eating it.

I kinda like 'em, but I can eat anything with no problem. I can imagine how they would be difficult for people with weak systems.

#2 | Posted by kudzu at 2017-12-13 02:37 PM | Reply

I like the green things in them.

#3 | Posted by Zed at 2017-12-13 02:50 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

There is nothing wrong with the concept of a fruitcake. It is the process of making one that often (usually) (OK, nearly always) goes astray. There are too many door stops out there under the guise of a fruitcake.

Having said that, one year I made some fruitcakes. I used good quality candied fruits (that's important) and lots of butter (also important). Plus some rum, not too much. Just enough to let you know it is there, not so much that you don't taste anything else.

My fruitcake was not a hard doorstop. It was a tasty, and chewy, dessert.

I've already got my bake goods made for this year. Maybe next year I'll make another batch of fruitcakes.

#4 | Posted by LampLighter at 2017-12-13 03:51 PM | Reply

I actually like fruitcake

#5 | Posted by PunchyPossum at 2017-12-14 04:34 AM | Reply

When I was a kid I heard Johnny Carson say that there was only one fruitcake in the world and everyone just keeps giving it to someone else because no one wants it.

#6 | Posted by lfthndthrds at 2017-12-14 06:57 AM | Reply

Fruitcake is the result of people trying to improve a food that was created out of necessity. In the past, you used what you had in the winter, and nobody had refrigeration. What to do? Use the flour, butter, honey, nuts and dried fruit you had in your cellar and then soak it in booze to keep it from spoiling. Look at German Rum Stollen and you'll see something closer to original.

FYI...mincemeat was created the same way and for the same reasons.

#7 | Posted by MUSTANG at 2017-12-14 02:36 PM | Reply

There's fruitcake and then there's fruitcake.... cheap store bought or good quality such as the ones from first gen Germans in Corsicana, Texas:


#8 | Posted by Corky at 2017-12-14 02:41 PM | Reply

There is way too many of them in DC.

#9 | Posted by Sniper at 2017-12-14 04:31 PM | Reply

It's the defining word under a picture of Mike Pence.

#10 | Posted by IndianaJones at 2017-12-14 05:40 PM | Reply

Comments are closed for this entry.

Home | Breaking News | Comments | User Blogs | Stats | Back Page | RSS Feed | RSS Spec | DMCA Compliance | Privacy | Copyright 2018 World Readable

Drudge Retort