Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Monday, December 11, 2017

Did NASA discover alien life? The space agency is about to make a big announcement this week, unveiling the latest success of the Kepler space telescope, the most prolific exoplanet finder in history. To that effect, NASA has called for a press teleconference on Thursday, December 14, at 1 p.m. EST, to share the massive discovery with the world. The news release mentions AI as a key element in the epic find, noting its vital contribution to the latest Kepler encounter. "The discovery was made by researchers using machine learning from Google," NASA officials write in the media advisory. The highly anticipated reveal, which has everyone talking about a possible breakthrough in the search for alien life, will be streamed online at NASA Live, as well as on Space.com.

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According to a NASA news release issued on Friday (December 8), the Kepler mission has hit a major breakthrough with the help of artificial intelligence (AI), and the space agency is eager to tell us all about it.

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B flat, C, A flat, (octave lower) A flat, E flat

#1 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2017-12-11 06:47 AM | Reply

Ross 128b?

#2 | Posted by Daniel at 2017-12-11 09:05 AM | Reply

The Kepler scope has discovered that we are in fact a science fair exhibit for an Arcturian 6th grader.
The judging will take place this Thursday. If we take first place we move on to the regional judging. 2nd place or lower and we get ---- canned.
Look sharp people!

#3 | Posted by Whizzo at 2017-12-11 10:00 AM | Reply | Funny: 5

Standing by to stand by on this news

#4 | Posted by GOnoles92 at 2017-12-11 12:52 PM | Reply

It would certainly add drama to the announcement if the alien burst out of the spokesman's chest.

#5 | Posted by HanoverFist at 2017-12-11 02:00 PM | Reply

I guess the news leaked out early...

images.dailykos.com

#6 | Posted by Corky at 2017-12-11 07:10 PM | Reply

Probably trump's wet dream of going to mars.

It won't happen.

#7 | Posted by bat4255 at 2017-12-11 07:30 PM | Reply

Interesting. I wonder if donald will claim credit before, during, or after the debrief?

#8 | Posted by REDIAL at 2017-12-11 07:41 PM | Reply

#1 | POSTED BY REDLIGHTROBOT

Is that the Close Encounters tune?

#9 | Posted by IndianaJones at 2017-12-11 07:49 PM | Reply

It's gotta be.

#10 | Posted by rstybeach11 at 2017-12-11 07:50 PM | Reply

They were able to bend light, thereby allowing Trump to see his toes?

#11 | Posted by censored at 2017-12-11 08:52 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

They may have agreed to send Trump the moon, Alice.

www.youtube.com

#12 | Posted by Corky at 2017-12-11 09:18 PM | Reply

Maybe they found out that Trump IS an extraterrestrial.

#13 | Posted by Whatsleft at 2017-12-11 09:18 PM | Reply

Nope.
But the tribble on his head just got deported by ICE.

#14 | Posted by bored at 2017-12-11 09:34 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

i read: if they found 'the brain' the loading can begin.

#15 | Posted by ichiro at 2017-12-11 11:24 PM | Reply

Nope--a guy named Ford Prefect showed up at NASA HQ to explain about that bypass the Volgons are building, and that Earth will be destroyed in short order. The announcement will be that everyone should carry a towel with them...

#16 | Posted by catdog at 2017-12-12 08:40 AM | Reply

They've discovered a Republican candidate so repugnant that the party won't support him in a general election?!!?

#17 | Posted by censored at 2017-12-12 09:35 AM | Reply

"They've discovered a Republican candidate so repugnant that the party won't support him in a general election?!!?"

If they have, he's from another galaxy.

#18 | Posted by Danforth at 2017-12-12 09:40 AM | Reply

I heard it was something along the lines that NASA now feels it has enough evidence to conclude that every star has at least on planet orbiting it. But watch it turn out to be something totally different.

#19 | Posted by moder8 at 2017-12-12 11:08 AM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

"It would certainly add drama to the announcement if the alien burst out of the spokesman's chest."

That's not funny. If it actually happens, you should feel very ashamed, and possibly guilty.

#20 | Posted by sentinel at 2017-12-12 11:31 AM | Reply

#1 | POSTED BY REDLIGHTROBOT
Is that the Close Encounters tune?
#9 | Posted by IndianaJones at 2017-12-11 07:49 PM

That's the second, more pleasant version said on the mesa with flute, oboe & bassoon. Mothership is the tuba.

Spielberg's mother was a musician and father a computer programmer according to IMDB. Everything makes sense.

#21 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2017-12-12 04:27 PM | Reply

Why do aliens love probing so much.

#22 | Posted by graph1 at 2017-12-12 06:07 PM | Reply

The same reason your doctors like probing Uranus.

#23 | Posted by aborted_monson at 2017-12-12 07:32 PM | Reply

Finally, a decent argument in favor of a female Doctor.

#24 | Posted by sentinel at 2017-12-12 08:13 PM | Reply

I'm guessing a large meteor is heading towards Earth and we are all going to die.

That said, at least no more worries about Trump.

#25 | Posted by Sycophant at 2017-12-13 11:09 AM | Reply

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