Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Wednesday, December 06, 2017

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Doctors treating the U.S. embassy victims of suspected attacks in Cuba have discovered brain abnormalities as they search for clues to explain hearing, vision, balance and memory damage, The Associated Press has learned.

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It's the most specific finding to date about physical damage, showing that whatever it was that harmed the Americans, it led to perceptible changes in their brains. The finding is also one of several factors fueling growing skepticism that some kind of sonic weapon was involved.

Medical testing has revealed the embassy workers developed changes to the white matter tracts that let different parts of the brain communicate, several U.S. officials said, describing a growing consensus held by university and government physicians researching the attacks. White matter acts like information highways between brain cells.

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Sonic weapon my ---. More like a telepathic assault. And that means Russian ex-KGB psionic assassins.

There is no other alternative explanation at this time.

#1 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2017-12-06 10:11 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

With all the fake "weird" stories out there, this one is truly refreshing in it's true weirdness.

#2 | Posted by Corky at 2017-12-06 10:19 PM | Reply

#2 I am trying to help you species escape from the darkness. This isn't a "weird" news story, this is actually happening.

Did you know a Russian telekinetic can stop your heart at any visual range? Autopsies of the hearts of CIA officers who died that ways showed that their hearts where penetrated by thousands of tiny needle like holes that seemed to have been cauterized.

Also, on the battlefield, the can pull the pins on the grenades on your belt, and put your weapon on safety.

#3 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2017-12-06 10:56 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

#3 | POSTED BY HELIUMRAT

So why didn't they just stare at all the goats during their Afghan war and starve the Afghanis out?

#4 | Posted by jpw at 2017-12-06 11:17 PM | Reply

Dude, psychics are rare and expensive, and the Russians mostly used them for locating our nuclear submarines and reading the contents of our diplomatic pouches anyway. What is wrong with you?

#5 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2017-12-06 11:26 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

But yeah, killing every goat in Afghanistan really would have affected their moral. But that's why the Russians lost the Cold War - They never think of obvious stuff like that. They play chess while everyone else plays checkers.

#6 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2017-12-06 11:28 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

pretty sure the upstairs neighbor is doing something to me.

#7 | Posted by ichiro at 2017-12-07 12:31 AM | Reply

#7 You probably need a car antenna. Now.

Self defense is nothing to joke about.

#8 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2017-12-07 01:50 AM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

#2 I am trying to help you species escape from the darkness. This isn't a "weird" news story, this is actually happening.
Did you know a Russian telekinetic can stop your heart at any visual range? Autopsies of the hearts of CIA officers who died that ways showed that their hearts where penetrated by thousands of tiny needle like holes that seemed to have been cauterized.
Also, on the battlefield, the can pull the pins on the grenades on your belt, and put your weapon on safety.
#3 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2017-12-06 10:56 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

CIA are not really human anyhow, so just knock them out with pleasant thoughts rather than let anyone comprehend that you can make them believe you press buttons telepathically.

"Are your men on the right pills? Maybe you should execute their trainer?" - M.Merciless

#9 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2017-12-07 02:37 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

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