Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Wednesday, December 06, 2017

Andrew Reiner: I had thought about reaching for my father's hand for weeks. He was slowly dying in a nursing home, and no one who visited him -- from my mother, his wife of 42 years, to my three siblings -- held his hand. How do you reach for something that, for so many decades, hinted at violence and, worse, dismissal In the flickering gray from the old black-and-white movies we watched together, I finally did it. I touched my father's hand, which I hadn't held since I was a young boy. ... Since then, I have learned that many middle-aged American men share this discomfort with reaching for another man's hand. But experts say that nonsexual touching contributes to greater well-being.

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The psychologist Ofer Zur notes that for most 20th- and 21st-century American men, physical contact is restricted to violence or sex. As the sociologist Michael Kimmel, who studies masculinity, said in an email, touch between straight men can occur only when physical contact "magically loses its association with homosexuality" -- as happens in sports.

The fear that girds the lack of platonic touch among American men also fuels the destructive force of their hands, a 2002 study in the journal Adolescence found. [Medical researcher Tiffany] Field was the lead author of the study, which looked at 49 cultures. "The cultures that exhibited minimal physical affection toward their young children had significantly higher rates of adult violence," she said. But "those cultures that showed significant amounts of physical affection toward their young children had virtually no adult violence."

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I've always been a hugger since my sailor days.

#1 | Posted by patron at 2017-12-06 01:26 PM | Reply

At least the author saves us time by tipping us of to his father issues in the intro.....,

#2 | Posted by Sully at 2017-12-06 01:36 PM | Reply

#Cookfishexplained

#3 | Posted by e1g1 at 2017-12-06 02:43 PM | Reply

It's true! We even touch ourselves!

I am considering turning myself in for abusing myself sexually all these years.

#4 | Posted by donnerboy at 2017-12-06 03:04 PM | Reply

And now men are more afraid than ever to touch anyone.

#5 | Posted by TFDNihilist at 2017-12-06 03:08 PM | Reply

The author is spot on. It IS how things are in our society. It was not something easy for me to get used to but since I have I will agree that if you learn to touch people in a genuine non-sexual way it is destressing and powerful for your well being. It is comforting. It all about when and who you touch in this society. Most men and even women don't react well. We are not a touchy society and believe me I am not a touchy feely person at all. It's true there is a certain fear in touching people here. In Europe and other parts of the world where men are much more easier going about this you find happier people in my experience. Families who I see as "huggers" or touchers seem genuinely more happy.

#6 | Posted by GalaxiePete at 2017-12-06 03:16 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

I am considering turning myself in for abusing myself sexually all these years.
#4 |

You should probably go ahead and ask your LEFT hand to resign, to set an example.

Whereas your RIGHT hand will continue campaigning furiously, up and down the state.

#7 | Posted by schifferbrains at 2017-12-06 03:31 PM | Reply | Funny: 4

"You should probably go ahead and ask your LEFT hand to resign, to set an example."

My right hand is the serial abuser. My left hand is for when I need the touch of a stranger.

#8 | Posted by donnerboy at 2017-12-06 03:46 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

Families who I see as "huggers" or touchers seem genuinely more happy.

#6 | POSTED BY GALAXIEPETE

I agree. It seems lke Latin cultures have this down better that other European type cultures/people.

#9 | Posted by shane at 2017-12-06 04:11 PM | Reply

Men that explore this type of thought are most likely gay or have been sexually abused, right Andy?

#10 | Posted by 101Chairborne at 2017-12-06 04:43 PM | Reply

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Latin cultures are known for knocking their ladies around.

#11 | Posted by 101Chairborne at 2017-12-06 04:44 PM | Reply

Latin cultures?
Christians.
Christians are known for knocking their women around.

The biggest predictor of whether a person feels it's okay for her husband to hit his wife is economic status.

In other words, poor women think it's okay for their husbands to hit them. And their husbands tend to agree.

Might as well call it "rape culture."

#12 | Posted by snoofy at 2017-12-06 05:22 PM | Reply

"Christians.
Christians are known for knocking their women around."

Muslims, too. They are the worst.

#13 | Posted by donnerboy at 2017-12-06 05:55 PM | Reply

Every church I've ever been in encouraged men to hug each other.

#14 | Posted by LEgregius at 2017-12-06 06:00 PM | Reply

and?

#15 | Posted by fresno500 at 2017-12-06 06:10 PM | Reply

"Christians.
Christians are known for knocking their women around."
Muslims, too. They are the worst.

#13 | POSTED BY DONNERBOY

Let's just say "Right-Wing Extremists" and lump all those deplorable women abusers into the same group.

#16 | Posted by IndianaJones at 2017-12-06 07:02 PM | Reply

My dog can't get enough touching. I remember inadvertently touching a young woman's butt during a photo op at my wife's music competition in Munich. It instantly alarmed that woman, but I swear, I had no designs on her of any kind, just closely framing the shot with a stranger. Testosterone drives young men insane in ways women rarely understand. Aging changes that. This does excuse Cosby, Trump, or Moore who crossed many legal boundaries, but it helps to understand Franken's offensive behavior. There are powerful physical boundary differences between countries and cultures which can create real and imaginary threats and accusations.

#17 | Posted by bayviking at 2017-12-07 08:13 AM | Reply

NOT EXCUSE

#18 | Posted by bayviking at 2017-12-07 08:14 AM | Reply

I've spent some time in the middle east and these men kiss each other, sometimes, on the lips. I've had several conversations about this with my israeli friends. They are well warned that the western man has a serious problem with all this. They will always wait to see where you are on greeting. If you offer a hand, they will shake it, if you are a hugger, that is okay. Most of the kissing is for closer relationships, family, real close friends, etc...

Remember when the Saudi king kissed W Bush on the lips? This was actually a sign of familial closeness more than anything else.

#19 | Posted by kudzu at 2017-12-07 09:17 AM | Reply

it's natural instinct, just ask boaz.

#20 | Posted by cjk85 at 2017-12-07 11:04 AM | Reply

Every church I've ever been in encouraged men to hug each other. - #14 | Posted by LEgregius at 2017-12-06 06:00 PM
Go on...

#21 | Posted by Avigdore at 2017-12-07 02:09 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

That other article about the politician who aggressively asserted he's not gay when the other touched his arm is a perfect example of this.

#22 | Posted by johnny_hotsauce at 2017-12-07 05:04 PM | Reply

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