Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Monday, August 07, 2017

As far as secret lairs of madcap scientists go, MegaBots' Fortress One in Hayward, Calif., isn't too shabby. Wedged between some nondescript industrial business and a lot that appears to be a cemetery for semis, this ivy-covered warehouse is surrounded by perimeter walls tall enough to hide the seldom-seen 16-ft, 12-ton war machine on the other side. As an added layer of security, there's even a Ring video doorbell. Standing outside the place, I could only imagine what crazy antics and experiments were happening within. After all, 31-year-old co-founders Gui Cavalcanti and Matt Oehrlein, mechanical and electrical engineers, respectively, actually built their very own Iron Giant -- modeled after the piloted mechs of mid '90s video games.

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Called the Mk. III at the time, but now dubbed Eagle Prime, it's intended to be the first of many MK3 class fighting mechs. And it's also the most impressive action figure ever built, even fitted with an arsenal of interchangeable accessories like knives, a claw, a ginormous chainsaw, and a double-barreled cannon.

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Tall robots are the dumbest combat idea since the Panjandrum.

#1 | Posted by sitzkrieg at 2017-08-07 09:00 AM | Reply

#1 And Nascars are terrible vehicles. Still fun to watch the crashes and the carnage just as it will still be fun to watch giant robots beat the ---- out of each other. Even if they would be useless on the battlefield.

#2 | Posted by IndianaJones at 2017-08-07 01:51 PM | Reply

Even if they would be useless on the battlefield.

#2 | POSTED BY INDIANAJONES

For now...

And don't forget the psychological damage of having a large, armored one of these things rolling down the street towards you...

#3 | Posted by Sycophant at 2017-08-07 01:53 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

History tells us that giant fighting mechs are easily defeated by forest dwelling living teddy bears with spears, rocks and logs.

At least according to George Lucas

#4 | Posted by RevDarko at 2017-08-07 02:19 PM | Reply | Funny: 1 | Newsworthy 1

History tells us that giant fighting mechs are easily defeated by forest dwelling living teddy bears with spears, rocks and logs.
At least according to George Lucas

#4 | POSTED BY REVDARKO

You win this round...

#5 | Posted by Sycophant at 2017-08-07 02:29 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

And don't forget the psychological damage of having a large, armored one of these things rolling down the street towards you...

#3 | POSTED BY SYCOPHANT AT 2017-08-07 01:53 PM | REPLY

Those already exist. It's called a tank. They're not very good city weapons, competent infantry will chew them up. Making them tall just makes it much, much worse.

#6 | Posted by sitzkrieg at 2017-08-07 03:25 PM | Reply

You must be a riot at parties.

#7 | Posted by bored at 2017-08-07 03:31 PM | Reply

History tells us that giant fighting mechs are easily defeated by forest dwelling living teddy bears with spears, rocks and logs.
At least according to George Lucas

#4 | POSTED BY REVDARKO

Somehow the cable tripping on Hoth seemed a bit more realistic.

#8 | Posted by IndianaJones at 2017-08-07 03:45 PM | Reply

You must be a riot at parties.

#7 | POSTED BY BORED AT 2017-08-07 03:31 PM | REPLY

I'm the DJ. No, I do not accept requests.

#9 | Posted by sitzkrieg at 2017-08-07 03:51 PM | Reply | Funny: 2

And don't forget the psychological damage of having a large, armored one of these things rolling down the street towards you...
#3 | POSTED BY SYCOPHANT AT 2017-08-07 01:53 PM | REPLY
Those already exist. It's called a tank. They're not very good city weapons, competent infantry will chew them up. Making them tall just makes it much, much worse.
#6 | POSTED BY SITZKRIEG

It's not quite the same.

#10 | Posted by Sycophant at 2017-08-07 04:14 PM | Reply

True, because the robot would be much, much easier to kill.

#11 | Posted by sitzkrieg at 2017-08-07 07:26 PM | Reply

I can see it now....

The Robot Wars Military Awards Ceremony, 2025.

Private Skip Taylor is awarded the purple heart when his coffee cup turned over and landed on his toe, thus causing an ingrown toenail. He won't even be able to wear his military Birkenstocks to work for a month.

The medal for Bravery Above and Beyond The Call of Duty is awarded to Lt. Lisa Kodowsky, who slept with all the Russian nerds and found out their passwords.

Finally, a heartfelt post-humous Medal of Honor goes to Captain Todd Gurley, who sacrificed himself by only eating leftover hot-pockets and gas-station sushi so he could pull 17 all-nighters reprogramming the Russian soda machines to only give out diet sodas.

#12 | Posted by kudzu at 2017-08-08 11:52 AM | Reply

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