Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Monday, July 10, 2017

A camp counselor in Colorado awoke Sunday morning to a crunching sound that turned out to be his own head in the mouth of a bear. ... He and four other counselors were in sleeping bags along a lakefront about 45 miles northwest of Denver, as 12- and 13-year-old campers slept in teepees nearby, the Associated Press reported. Dylan said the bear clawed his forehead and then bit the back of his head and began dragging him. As the young man punched and hit the bear, fellow camp staffers tried to scare the animal away. The bear dragged Dylan 10 to 12 feet. "When it was dragging me -- that was the slowest part," he told the TV channel. "It felt like it went forever." Dylan was taken to the hospital, where he received nine staples to close the wounds. "I'm not afraid of the bears," he told Denver7.

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Said one bear to another... "White, black, asian, muslim, christian.... they all taste like chicken."

#1 | Posted by 726 at 2017-07-10 12:49 PM | Reply | Funny: 1


... Dylan was taken to the hospital, where he received nine staples to close the wounds. ...

Do they just get an Arrow® staple gun, and staple the skin back to the skull? I'd hope, at least, they use a local anesthetic first.

#2 | Posted by LampLighter at 2017-07-10 02:20 PM | Reply

Be careful what sort of shampoo and cologne you use camping. Bears are curious, first they smell, then they taste. Best advice, never keep food around your camp site, string all of it at least ten feet up in a tree or inside a car at night. (That car thing doesn't work with grizzlies, they can open up a car like a tin can). Don't use scented anything, especially fruity scents. Best to stick to unscented soaps like Ivory. Use DEAT, bears don't like the aroma or taste. Above all if you see a cub come into your camp, get away fast. Most bear attacks occur because of someone messing with a cub. Don't feed it, pet it or let it near you. Pound for pound a bear is 7 times stronger than you, most bears weigh about 2-300 lbs, if they attack, it isn't a contest. The average bear can run faster than an Olympic sprinter, and the worst thing is that bears are smart. If they have learned that people have food, they are very motivated to get at it. Bears are generally the apex predator of their environment, so the are not afraid of you at all.

#3 | Posted by docnjo at 2017-07-10 02:43 PM | Reply

Listening to a Alaska Guide talk about bears.
You sleep with a 44 magnum tied to your wrist when you sleep so you dont have to look for it when the bear comes thru the wall of your tent.

#4 | Posted by HanoverFist at 2017-07-10 04:55 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

Listening to a Alaska Guide talk about bears.
You sleep with a 44 magnum tied to your wrist when you sleep so you dont have to look for it when the bear comes thru the wall of your tent.

#4 | POSTED BY HANOVERFIST AT 2017-07-10 04:55 PM | FLAG:

I was just thinking... last time I went deep-woods camping (Big South Fork on the Tenn./Ky. line), I took a .38 with me for just this reason. The .44 magnum would be better, but I figure I could at least slow the bastard down. The good news was, I never had to test my theory.

#5 | Posted by cbob at 2017-07-10 05:15 PM | Reply

I read an Alaska guide blog that advised filing the front sight off your .44 Magnum so it doesn't hurt so much when the bear shoves it up your ass.

#6 | Posted by REDIAL at 2017-07-10 06:40 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

"Grizzly bear ---- smells like pepper and has bells in it."

#7 | Posted by snoofy at 2017-07-10 06:49 PM | Reply

Listening to a Alaska Guide talk about bears.
You sleep with a 44 magnum tied to your wrist...

What? So pouring cougar pee all over your head before you go to sleep is NOT what the Alaskan Guides recommend?

Wait til I get my hands on that Alaskan Guide!

#8 | Posted by donnerboy at 2017-07-10 08:36 PM | Reply

Was tent camping with my wife in the White Mountains off season. Was there for a week and very bear concious the whole time until the last day. It rained all week and the last night I didn't take care of my garbage, we had Cornish Game Hens that night. I own guns but rarely take them. 3 AM THE the garbage bag is ripped from the tree. I swear that thing didn't even snap a twig, totally silent. It was in my camp for an hour and a half trying to open a locking handle ice chest and then lied down and ate everything in it. Toni slept through the whole thing but I didn't. But like I said not a sound. Birds flitting through the brush make more noise.

#9 | Posted by bruceaz at 2017-07-10 09:16 PM | Reply

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