Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Rick Scott Consultant Denies He Used Ice Penis on Mannequin

Joshua Cooper, a Tallahassee political consultant paid more than $500,000 by Florida Gov. Rick Scott to dig up dirt on Scott's enemies over the years, swears the photo above was simply a snapshot taken at an unfortunate angle. Cooper is adamant the photo absolutely does not show him holding an ice penis next to a mannequin's groin.

"It is not at all what it looks like," says Cooper, who spends his spare time as a semiprofessional barbecue chef and insists he was simply throwing away a large slab of ice while cooking in a Memphis competition. Someone took a snapshot at exactly the wrong moment and posted the photo online, Cooper says, making an accidental sexual tableau with the female mannequin.

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The photo has been making the rounds in Florida political circles since it was posted online in May. Though Cooper says the image was deleted upon his request, he says one of his many enemies in Tallahassee is recirculating the image to discredit him.

"That was a photo one of my barbecue teammates took," Cooper tells New Times. "That was our ice luge. It melted, so I was picking it up and throwing it over the fence there. But from the angle he took the picture from, my teammates thought it looked funny and posted it online."

He says he has three daughters and a young son and clarifies that he does not hump mannequins.

Comments

Uh-huh. Then why was the mannequin there in the first place?

#1 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2017-11-28 04:40 PM

The mannequin is dressed like a ---- and looks drunk.

#2 | Posted by SheepleSchism at 2017-11-28 04:52 PM

Nothingburger.

#3 | Posted by oldwhiskeysour at 2017-11-28 04:56 PM

"That was our ice luge. It melted, so...."

Sure. A real mans ice luge doesn't melt.

#4 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2017-11-28 04:59 PM

What's wrong with holding an ice penis?

#5 | Posted by sitzkrieg at 2017-11-28 05:10 PM

Lol, I forgot about ice luges. Theyre dangerous if you aren't one of the first people to use it... contrary to popular party going thought, the shot won't kill whatever germs the folks before you left behind.

#6 | Posted by GOnoles92 at 2017-11-28 06:23 PM

Live by the Ice Penis, die by the...

#7 | Posted by memyselfini at 2017-11-29 02:07 AM

Probably one of the weirdest headlines I've ever read.

#8 | Posted by jpw at 2017-11-29 03:01 PM

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