Officer: Oh, whether or not I could do something doesn't matter. I'm not allowed to confront a possibly hostile suspect. Perhaps you could talk to him and see if he will come down to the precinct house and turn himself in.
Victim: That's it? That's all you can do?
Officer: Well, I can give you our website and you can make a report of this alleged crime. It's a really neat website, designed by the same folks that did that Affordable Care site. And I'd be glad to give you the office phone numbers for Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and Eric Holder.