"first we'd have to determine that i do occupy a position of privilege...who determines that...are the criteria the same for everyone"
I could recommend some reading on the subject, if you'd like. You read the news, so you are the probably already familiar with things like the gender wage gap, economic disparity between whites and non-whites, discrimination against LGBTQ individuals, racial bias in the justice system, colonialism and its successors, and so forth.
"second, who determines if i achieved that privilege in a way that you would judge as appropriately sensitive"
Again, you misunderstand the concept. You don't "achieve" privilege.
"thirdly "at the expense of others". my friend, everything is at someones expense. in the poorest clutch of huts in the world,there exists a hierarchy. it's our nature"
You recite this as if it is an article of dogma. Why? My intuition is the opposite: the possibilities in this world are surely capable of a net expansion (when life first formed, at whose expense did it do so?). Your claim sounds like a self-serving justification to me: "someone has to oppress people, so why not me?" You could justify any atrocity with such reasoning.