Drudge Retort: Pirate's blog

Judge Orders Man to Take Wife to Red Lobster, Bowling

pirate — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 17:15:17 -0500

Just in time for Valentine's Day, a Florida judge ruled on Tuesday that a man involved in a scuffle with his wife treat her to an evening at a local bowling alley and a romantic meal at Red Lobster.

NC School Admin Arrested for Beheading Plot

pirate — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 13:21:24 -0500

Nevine Aly Elshiekh, a Raleigh NC school administrator, is accused of paying a hit man to behead three witnesses in a terrorism case. FBI agents say the 46-year-old educator provided the informant with the names of those to be killed and a $750 down payment toward the first hit.

Occupy Videographer Getting Threats

pirate — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 16:33:13 -0500

A videographer who has been broadcasting live video of Occupy Wall Street as a participant in the movement said he's coming under increasing abuse from other protesters when filming their actions. "I probably will get severely injured in these next coming months," said Tim Pool, creator of the Timcast. "I film what's happening around me. I do it because people need to know what's going on. ... In reality, anybody who throws a bottle should be accountable for their actions. They should be upset at themselves for being in the vicinity of cameras when they do it."

'A Thousand Dildos for Military Wives'

pirate — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 18:33:04 -0500

The makers of the RealTouch teledildonic sex toy are working on giving "a thousand dildos for military wives" in Afghanistan, said company manager Scott Rinaldo. Sascha Segan of PC Magazine describes the device this way: "RealTouch is a slightly terrifying, synthetic orifice that lives in a plastic tube and connects to a computer. Based on data from an Internet connection, the unit warms up, lubes up, pulses and grips any item stuck into it."

Congress Withdraws SOPA, PIPA

pirate — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 18:32:20 -0500

Congressional lawmakers indefinitely postponed anti-piracy legislation on Friday, two days after major Internet companies staged an online protest by blacking out their websites. The bills, known as the Protect IP Act (PIPA) in the Senate and the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) in the House, are aimed at curbing access to overseas websites that traffic in pirated content. "We appreciate that lawmakers have listened to our community's concerns, and we stand ready to work with them on solutions to piracy and copyright infringement that will not chill free expression," a Facebook spokesman said.

Woman Offers Sex for McNuggets

pirate — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 13:32:30 -0500

A 31-year-old homeless woman in Burbank, Calif., offered several drive-thru customers at a McDonald's restaurant oral sex in exchange for Chicken McNuggets last Wednesday, police said. Khadijah Baseer, 31, "was opening up doors," said police Lieutenant John Dilibert. She was cited and released for misdemeanor solicitation.

Penis Tattoo Gives Guy Perma-Wood

pirate — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 00:36:12 -0500

Using a traditional technique, a 21 year old Iranian man had his penis tattooed with a Persian script reading "borow be salaamat" (good luck on your journeys) and the first initial of his girlfriend's last name ("M"). A week later, he was left with a 24/7 priapic erection or semi-erection.

7 year old dies in school from food allergy

pirate — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 17:46:26 -0500

Ammaria Johnson, a first-grader at Hopkins Elementary School in Chesterfield County, near Richmond, died Monday afternoon after apparently ingesting something that triggered allergy-related breathing and heart problems, according to Lt. Jason Elmore with the Chesterfield County Fire and EMS department. The child reportedly suffered from allergies to several substances, including nuts and eggs.

U.S. Teen Accidentally Deported

Pirate — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 14:44:40 -0500

An African-American teen from Dallas who has been missing since 2010 was found to have been wrongfully deported to Colombia in April 2011. Jakadrien Turner had fled her family at age 14 after the death of her grandfather and her parents' divorce. When arrested in Houston for theft, she gave a fake name that coincidentally belonged to a Colombian illegal immigrant warrants out for her arrest -- and was mistakenly deported. "I feel like she will come home," said her grandmother, Lorene Turner, who found her with help of Dallas police. "I just need help and prayer."

Woman Rubs Butt on $30M Painting

pirate — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 10:08:54 -0500

A 36-year-old woman was charged Wednesday after punching, scratching and sliding her buttocks against an abstract painting worth more than $30 million at a Denver museum. Carmen Tisch damaged "1957-J No. 2 by Clyfford Still at a new museum bearing his name. Though Tisch also urinated, "it doesn't appear she urinated on the painting or that the urine damaged it, so she's not being charged with that," said Denver police spokesperson Lynn Kimbrough.

Mom Kills Intruder with 911 on Phone

pirate — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 17:58:01 -0500

An 18-year-old Oklahoma mother fearing for her infant's life shot and killed an intruder on New Year's Eve after asking a 911 operator if it was OK to shoot. The 911 operator told Sarah McKinley, her, "I can't tell you that you can do that but you do what you have to do to protect your baby." When Justin Martin allegedly broke in armed with a knife and McKinley shot and killed him. An accomplice fled and turned himself in to police.

Dog Shoots Hunter

pirate — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 20:33:20 -0500

A duck hunter in Brigham City, Utah, is recovering after being shot over the weekend by his dog. The 46-year-old hunter laid his 12-gauge shotgun across the bow of his boat as he got out to collect or place decoys. A dog in the boat stepped on the gun and it fired, peppering the hunter's butt with 27 pellets of birdshot. "I don't know if the safety device was on," said Sheriff's Chief Deputy Kevin Potter. "It's not impossible the dog could have taken it off safety."

Sheriff Held in Jail Named for Him

Pirate — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 19:31:52 -0500

A former Colorado lawman once honored as a national sheriff of the year has been jailed on charges of offering methamphetamine in exchange for sex from a male acquaintance. Bail was set at $500,000 for former Arapahoe County sheriff Patrick Sullivan, 68, who is being held in the Patrick J. Sullivan Detention Facility named for him in 2002. "This isn't the Pat I know," said Peg Ackerman, a lobbyist for the County Sheriffs of Colorado.

'Fix a Flat' Used in Butt Injection

pirate — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 14:30:53 -0500

A transgender woman in Miami Gardens, Fl., has been charged with practicing medicine without a license after injecting a woman with a buttocks implant consisting of consisting of cement, Fix a Flat, mineral oil and super glue. Oneal Ron Morris, who appears to have enhanced her own buttocks, is jailed on $7,500 bond. The woman had to be hospitalized with a serious infection due to the procedure.