Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Friday, August 15, 2014

The Onion: Shy away from dangerous, heavily policed areas. Avoid swaggering or any other confident behavior that suggests you are not completely subjugated. Be sure not to pick up any object that could be perceived by a police officer as a firearm, such as a cell phone, a food item, or nothing. Explain in clear and logical terms that you do not enjoy being shot, and would prefer that it not happen. Don't let society stereotype you as a petty criminal. Remember that you can be seen as so much more, from an armed robbery suspect, to a rape suspect, to a murder suspect. Try to see it from a police officer's point of view: You may be unarmed, but you're also black. Avoid wearing clothing associated with the gang lifestyle, such as shirts and pants.

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Admin's note: Participants in this discussion must follow the site's moderation policy. Profanity will be filtered. Abusive conduct is not allowed.

If blacks would only follow these simple tips we'd have no more of these tragic incidents. I'm sure that the emotional trauma suffered by a police officer after shooting a man is just awful.

#1 | Posted by moder8 at 2014-08-14 07:12 PM | Reply | Flag: | Funny: 2

I know this is a joke, but recently while at the library and I randomly picked up a copy if a magazine which was basically the black McCalls and in it was a very similar article which was no joke.
The fact that blacks in America do not see the police as being on their side is a giant hurdle that this country will probably never get over.

#2 | Posted by TFDNihilist at 2014-08-14 07:20 PM | Reply | Flag:

Funny because it's true!

They're demonstrating here tonight and I'm actually going to follow most of these rules. My wife heard the SWAT guys loading their guns while she was taking the kids for a walk and called me. I really don't want to get into anything with anyone.

#3 | Posted by BruceBanner at 2014-08-14 08:20 PM | Reply | Flag:

Have you or a family member been assaulted or murdered by a young black man? For me yes and yes. Young black men can be dangerous and deadly. Not all of course but enough to make all suspect.

#4 | Posted by jdmeth at 2014-08-14 09:34 PM | Reply | Flag:

4 | Posted by jdmeth at

I once had 3 white boys jump out of a truck and beat the crap out of me
for no reason at a 7-11, I did not know them or said a word to them.
true story.
Young white men can be dangerous and deadly. Not all of course but enough
to make all suspect.

#5 | Posted by PunchyPossum at 2014-08-14 10:41 PM | Reply | Flag:

I once had 3 girl scouts stomp me on my own porch because I didn't buy any girl scout cookies. The cops wouldn't believe they ripped my screen door off its hinges. True story.
Girl scouts can be dangerous and deadly. Not all of course, but enough to make me cross the street when I see them coming.

rwd

#6 | Posted by rightwingdon at 2014-08-14 10:52 PM | Reply | Flag:

Not all of course but enough to make all suspect.

#4 | POSTED BY JDMETH AT 2014-08-14 09:34 PM | FLAG:

Let me tell you about Germans!

#7 | Posted by BruceBanner at 2014-08-14 11:54 PM | Reply | Flag: | Funny: 2

6 | Posted by rightwingdon

If your story was true, which of course it is not, you would be justified to be in fear of all girl scouts according to JDMETH.
my story was true in fact I would hazard to say most crimes against whites are committed by whites so there for by this logic white people should fear white people the most

#8 | Posted by PunchyPossum at 2014-08-15 03:41 AM | Reply | Flag:

Additional tips:

Pull up your damn pants

survivalbackpack.us

Don't throw Molotov cocktails at cops

extras.mnginteractive.com

Get yours

www.csmonitor.com

#9 | Posted by MUSTANG at 2014-08-15 09:41 AM | Reply | Flag:

here's another tip...when you've just become a suspect in a ROBBERY and the police question you....don't be "uncooperative' and eventually allegedly go for a cops gun..

LIKE THE KID in MO. ALLEGEDLY did...

#10 | Posted by afkabl2 at 2014-08-15 11:14 AM | Reply | Flag: | Newsworthy 2

Tip 1: Get armed.

#11 | Posted by kanrei at 2014-08-15 11:14 AM | Reply | Flag:

1) Don't steal cartons of 'sweets' cigars, so you can use them as splits.
2) Don't assault store owners/workers.
3) Don't try to keep a cop from exiting his vehicle.
4) Don't assault cop while he is in his car since you wouldn't let him open the door.

#12 | Posted by RobThomas at 2014-08-15 07:50 PM | Reply | Flag: | Funny: 2 | Newsworthy 1

In short: know your place and stay in it.

#13 | Posted by 88120rob at 2014-08-15 09:31 PM | Reply | Flag: | Newsworthy 1

And how about don't walk down the middle of a busy intersection.

#14 | Posted by boaz at 2014-08-16 08:54 AM | Reply | Flag:

And how about don't walk down the middle of a busy intersection while being black.

#14 | Posted by boaz

FTFY

#15 | Posted by WhoDaMan at 2014-08-16 09:19 AM | Reply | Flag:

In short: know your place and stay in it.
#13 | Posted by 88120rob at 2014-08-15 09:31 PM

If "knowing one's place" means acting like a member of a civilized society by refraining from: 1) bullying and 2) strong armed robbery of little old men, 3) walking down streets blocking traffic, 4) assaulting police officers while 5) preventing them from exiting their vehicles and 6) trying to grab their guns, I guess the vast majority of us (luckily for what remains of our society) have known our place for quite some time.

P.S. Three or four of the six items listed above could get one shot and killed in most places in this country, by police officers or by private citizens, regardless of one's skin color. While I do not doubt that there was a racial component (along with an age and size component) in the police officer's decision to pull the trigger, those who are blaming only the police officer's response while ignoring the behavior of the 18-year-old man are not being realistic in working towards a solution, IMHO.

#16 | Posted by censored at 2014-08-16 10:08 AM | Reply | Flag: | Newsworthy 1

And how about don't walk down the middle of a busy intersection.

You really like this talking point. Here's the spot Brown died on Google Street View:

goo.gl

Does that look like a busy street to you?

#17 | Posted by rcade at 2014-08-16 10:12 AM | Reply | Flag:

I was reading the other day how most women feel they have to stay on the alert to keep themselves safe.

Shouldn't women be able to park their car anywhere in a parking lot and feel like they can walk out to it anytime of night?

Isn't there something wrong with that? Should women have to live that way?

I'm not saying that male black youths aren't being profiled unfairly. They actually are.

And for that very reason they should be just as vigilant as women who know to park closer to the front in well lite areas.

We all have to take personal responsibility for our own safety.

#18 | Posted by BillJohnson at 2014-08-16 11:03 AM | Reply | Flag:

We all have to take personal responsibility for our own safety.

The flaw in your comment is that you imply young black males are at least partially to blame for their own mistreatment and wrongful treatment by police -- because they could take actions to avoid it. In many cases this is not true. There's a lot of systemic racism in police departments around the U.S. Ferguson appears to be a particularly egregious example.

#19 | Posted by rcade at 2014-08-16 11:08 AM | Reply | Flag:

And for that very reason they should be just as vigilant as women who know to park closer to the front in well lite areas.

We all have to take personal responsibility for our own safety.

#18 | Posted by BillJohnson

So only white males can feel safe in America? OK, got it. What a country!

Say it with me, "We're Number One!"

#20 | Posted by WhoDaMan at 2014-08-16 11:30 AM | Reply | Flag:

To-Do List

1)stop stealing
1a)stop bullying small people
2)use sidewalks
3)pull up pants
4)don't run from police

#21 | Posted by channelabe at 2014-08-16 11:38 AM | Reply | Flag:

And which of those things justifies a death penalty under criminal law?

#22 | Posted by WhoDaMan at 2014-08-16 11:53 AM | Reply | Flag:

...And how many white people have been executed by police for doing those things?

#23 | Posted by WhoDaMan at 2014-08-16 11:54 AM | Reply | Flag:

-pull up pants

Not doing so in GOPLand is an executable offence.

#24 | Posted by Corky at 2014-08-16 11:59 AM | Reply | Flag:

Who,

"So only white males can feel safe in America?"

Sure....

Because I am white, I feel safe going to any part of the town any time of the day.

Riiiiight!

#25 | Posted by BillJohnson at 2014-08-16 12:11 PM | Reply | Flag:

Rcade,

"There's a lot of systemic racism in police departments around the U.S"

I agree that black male youths are profiled unfairly.

And for that very reason, right or wrong, if they live in one of those towns where the police have that kind of reputation, I'd keep my pants up, hoody down and I wouldn't loiter.

Indeed, these police departments need to be investigated and individuals prosecuted.

Rioting in the streets doesn't help their cause.

My problem is that I don't believe these young men's hands are completely clean of perpetuating this problem. It almost seems to me they are sort of like women who insist on hanging out in dark parking lots, get molested and then cry victim.

I'm not sure where the line is. I'm quite sure being a young black man is probably pretty tough, but at some point you just have to be smart and avoid places where you can get in trouble.

I know that probably sounds over simplistic, but if they don't look out for themselves, who will?

#26 | Posted by BillJohnson at 2014-08-16 12:48 PM | Reply | Flag:

Cris Rock had a good sketch on the same subject. The only advice I gave my kids is,"Don't argue with the man with a gun".

#27 | Posted by docnjo at 2014-08-16 01:01 PM | Reply | Flag: | Newsworthy 1

#26 | Posted by BillJohnson

Why should all black people be held responsible for the actions of a few when whites are not judged by the same standards? There is nothing that a minority black people are guilty of that a minority of white people are not also guilty of. So why should blacks be judged by a different standard? Should you (assuming you are white; correct me if I'm mistaken about that) be judged by the actions of the worst whites? If not, why should I be judged by the actions of the worst blacks? What justifies the difference? Just because you have a perception about blacks does not override the constitution's guarantee of equal treatment under the law. And how valid are your perceptions, anyway? Statistically, white people are far more likely to be victims of white criminals, just as blacks are far more likely to be victims of black criminals. What justifies all this fear of black people among whites?

#28 | Posted by WhoDaMan at 2014-08-16 01:58 PM | Reply | Flag:

Should you (assuming you are white; correct me if I'm mistaken about that) be judged by the actions of the worst whites?

Maybe it is Miami culture, but I am. I am constantly on the defense as a White male in Miami where I account for 16% of the population.

I often have to disarm a situation by being overly friendly to counter the implied racism my skin color says to the other races in Miami.

#29 | Posted by kanrei at 2014-08-16 02:01 PM | Reply | Flag:

Who,

"Why should all black people be held responsible for the actions of a few when whites are not judged by the same standards?"

That's not what I said.

Everyone should be held responsible for their own behavior.

However, they need to watch to not contribute to their own problems, directly or indirectly.

#30 | Posted by BillJohnson at 2014-08-16 02:18 PM | Reply | Flag:

However, they need to watch to not contribute to their own problems, directly or indirectly.

#30 | Posted by BillJohnson

You are missing the point entirely! Why should black people be held to a different standard than white people is the question on the table. You act as if some white teenagers don't exhibit the same kinds behaviors as some black teenagers do. They do! But they don't end up getting killed by police. They might get arrested for "mouthing off" at cops, but they don't end up dead. Nor are all other white teenagers judged by the image of the "bad" ones. You seem to want to hold blacks to a different standard.

#31 | Posted by WhoDaMan at 2014-08-16 02:29 PM | Reply | Flag:

I have a suggestion: don't rob a store, then walk down the middle of the street blocking traffic, then wrestle with a cop for control of his gun.

That will get you killed, black or white.

#32 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2014-08-16 04:09 PM | Reply | Flag:

He was wrestling a cop for control of a gun with both hands raised? Wow, that's a pretty impressive move, huh?

#33 | Posted by WhoDaMan at 2014-08-16 04:18 PM | Reply | Flag:

Who,

"You are missing the point entirely!"

I understand your point completely.

What I am saying is a real world suggestion.

The same thing as my comparison to women walking around in dark parking lots and the risk of rape.

What would you say to a woman who was complaining she should be able to walk around anywhere she wants after dark?

Suppose it was your daughter who was complaining. Would you tell her, "go ahead and do it...it's not your fault if you get raped". No. You'd tell her to stay out of dark parking lots.

I'm not suggesting that black young men are not actually being profiled by some cops. It is happening. Not all cops. Some cities seem to be worse than others.

What suggestion would you have for them if not to avoid certain places or certain ways of behaving? Figure it out. This isn't something new for black people. They've been having to deal with unfair treatment for generations. It's not right, but you just have to figure out how to protect yourself and go on from there.

Rioting is not going to solve this problem. What will solve this problem is aggressively going after these cops through the courts with a vengeance and punishing the guilty.

In the mean time, don't behave in a manner that is attracting attention.

#34 | Posted by BillJohnson at 2014-08-16 04:29 PM | Reply | Flag:

"Just accept 2nd class citizenship"

#35 | Posted by WhoDaMan at 2014-08-16 04:33 PM | Reply | Flag:

#33 the only person saying he had his hands raised is Dorian Johnson, his accomplice in the robbery. Who already has one warrant for larceny.

You trust him?

#36 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2014-08-16 04:56 PM | Reply | Flag:

In short: know your place and stay in it.

#13 | Posted by 88120rob

What you really mean is to act like a sensable human.

#37 | Posted by Sniper at 2014-08-16 08:02 PM | Reply | Flag:

#33 the only person saying he had his hands raised is Dorian Johnson, his accomplice in the robbery. Who already has one warrant for larceny.

You trust him?

#36 | Posted by HeliumRat

Other witnesses corroborate his statement.

Police have said the black 18-year-old died in a dangerous struggle after trying to grab the officer's weapon. Not so, say the witnesses.

"It looked as if Michael was pushing off and the cop was trying to pull him in," Tiffany Mitchell told CNN on Wednesday night.

Mitchell said she drove to Ferguson on Saturday to pick up an employee for work just in time to see Brown tussling at the window of a police vehicle.

She and the employee, Piaget Crenshaw, told CNN's Don Lemon late Wednesday about Brown's last moments.

Crenshaw, still in her building, watched the same events from her window. She later shot cell phone video of the aftermath, which CNN obtained from affiliate KMOV.

It looked like the two of them were arm wrestling, she said.

Neither woman, who gave their statements to St. Louis County police, say they saw Brown enter the vehicle.

Instead, a shot went off, then the teen broke free, and the officer got out of the vehicle in pursuit, the women said.

pix11.com

#38 | Posted by WhoDaMan at 2014-08-16 09:43 PM | Reply | Flag:

When does the Retort begin offering an "Irony Flag?" I am certain many people here understand the difference between irony and funny.

#39 | Posted by john47 at 2014-08-17 09:28 AM | Reply | Flag:

I, for one, am shocked the dead kid was a criminal. Especially after reading how he was a gentle giant, a good kid, going to college, and all that other BS we hear about dead thugs after the fire they played with burned them.

#40 | Posted by 101Chairborne at 2014-08-17 10:44 AM | Reply | Flag:

Funny how this doesn't seem to happen to unarmed white thugs, though.

#41 | Posted by WhoDaMan at 2014-08-17 01:36 PM | Reply | Flag:

www.ijreview.com

Maybe because they are white nobody cares because they cannot make it into a racist issue. Maybe because the white guys no better than to run at a police officer AFTER he has told you to freeze. And you ESPECIALLY should not continue to run at them after they fired warning shots. Couldn't help but notice that the main thread on this was taken down after this video appeared putting a lie to all the prior posts condemning the police and supporting the rioters. Yet again we find Obama supporting the lawless and find that Holder tried to keep the store video from being played.

And all of you falling right in behind like good little comrades. If the press and the liberals are saying it. Well it must be true!

#42 | Posted by foshaffer at 2014-08-17 02:40 PM | Reply | Flag:

The feds didn't want the store video shown because it is prejudicial. Whether he committed the robbery is irrelevant to the shooting of an unarmed suspect. You can't justify the shooting based on what was a minimal assault in the commission of what would otherwise be a simple shoplifting charge. Since when did cops become so afraid of unarmed suspects that they have to empty their magazines into them? Whatever happened to arresting them and putting them on trial?

#43 | Posted by WhoDaMan at 2014-08-17 03:44 PM | Reply | Flag:

Probably since the song and culture of "F*** the PO-lice" became the creed of the community.

#44 | Posted by monkeylogic42 at 2014-08-17 03:53 PM | Reply | Flag:

Probably since the song and culture of "F*** the PO-lice" became the creed of the community.

#45 | Posted by monkeylogic42 at 2014-08-17 03:53 PM | Reply | Flag:

Or the title could be:

Whites taught not react violently out of fear.

#46 | Posted by fresno500 at 2014-08-17 03:56 PM | Reply | Flag:

Thankfully I have not been shot dead by the police, but having been harassed by a police officer not too far from my own house when I was a kid, I can't say I couldn't have seen it happen. I'm very conscious of the danger they pose though, so I was quite agreeable when confronted.

Would be interesting seeing some of the comments on here if that happened though. Sadly I've never been linked to anything even remotely illegal.

#47 | Posted by daniel_3 at 2014-08-17 06:07 PM | Reply | Flag:

Funny how this doesn't seem to happen to unarmed white thugs, though.

#41 | Posted by WhoDaMan

Most of them are smart enough not to walk down the middle of the street blocking trafic after a robery.

The ones that do get shot don't make the national news. No riots.

#48 | Posted by Sniper at 2014-08-17 06:19 PM | Reply | Flag:

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