My grandson started doing poorly in some of his classes, especially algebra. His Mom and Dad tried all sorts of punishments, nothing seemed to work. Finally, a close friend of his, a very good student, started working with him via skype at night, he's now doing great and has a much more positive outlet. I think getting kids who are in trouble to accept peer to peer assistance has the potential to change both their attitude and their performance. Parents can get upset, punish, bribe, etc. but really only other kids, their own age, have much success in changing their attitude and making them actually want to succeed.

"At the same time, she should be careful applying anecdote to broader issues."

Just to be sure, I was talking about teenagers, not young children. Teenagers have an innate natural resistance to taking criticism from adults but often actually like pleasing their peers. Peer group pressure can be a positive influence just as easily as it can be a negative one. Many high schools have peer counselor programs that are quite successful, the new twist is the use of skype because it enables peer counseling from home during hours when kids are normally home. It also was quite useful in helping him watch how his friend did the algebra problems, step by stem. Kids today are heavily involved in social media, we should look for ways to use that as a tool rather than only view it as entertainment to be used only after homework is finished.

"Just goes to show you----it has a lot to do with who your kids hang with; something which is often tough for parents to gauge or control."

Yep, and punishment won't usually change that. Kids are pretty much on their own when not at home, you have to somehow get them to "choose" the right direction and that's not easy. I think it is important that they understand they have the power not you, if they think it is you then they feel free to ignore their own better judgement, if they understand that it is they who have to make good choices or else face the consequences of making bad choices they are more likely to take responsibility for themselves. At least that's how it always seemed to work for myself when I was growing up, for my siblings that I helped raise, my own kids and now my grandkids. Once they are teenagers they have to accept responsibility for their decisions, punishment gives the parents that responsibility.

**** The Kid is Smart Enough to Know that the "Dead" School System is nothing more than "Warehousing" and is just a Big,Useless waste of Time and Money..

I've visited my grandson's high school and I can tell you that it is anything but what you describe. It is a regular public high school in Broward Co. Florida and all of the teachers I met were impressive. I think he is lucky to attend such a school. The attitude of the student is, IMHO, the number one thing to look at if a child isn't doing well in school. There are various theories on how to improve a child's attitude and not all kids are the same but to blame the schools is, in most cases, ridiculous. I grant you, there are some bad teachers, I've met a few when my kids were growing up but most of them were fine, hard working, dedicated professionals.