Louisiana Funds Anti-Hippie Education

Other examples of taxpayer-funded, Republican-implemented "history" (read: rubbish) found in textbooks used in this risible voucher system:

"Dinosaurs and humans were definitely on the earth at the same time"

"God used the Trail of Tears to bring many Indians to Christ"

Consider these History Howlers:

1. Dinosaurs and humans probably hung out: "Bible-believing Christians cannot accept any evolutionary interpretation. Dinosaurs and humans were definitely on the earth at the same time and may have even lived side by side within the past few thousand years." -- Life Science, 3rd ed., Bob Jones University Press, 2007

2. Dragons were totally real: "[Is] it possible that a fire-breathing animal really existed? Today some scientists are saying yes. They have found large chambers in certain dinosaur skulls…The large skull chambers could have contained special chemical-producing glands. When the animal forced the chemicals out of its mouth or nose, these substances may have combined and produced fire and smoke." -- Life Science, 3rd ed., Bob Jones University Press, 2007

3. "God used the Trail of Tears to bring many Indians to Christ." -- America: Land That I Love, Teacher ed., A Beka Book, 1994

4. Africa needs religion: "Africa is a continent with many needs. It is still in need of the gospel…Only about ten percent of Africans can read and write. In some areas the mission schools have been shut down by Communists who have taken over the government." -- Old World History and Geography in Christian Perspective, 3rd ed., A Beka Book, 2004

5. Slave masters were nice guys: "A few slave holders were undeniably cruel. Examples of slaves beaten to death were not common, neither were they unknown. The majority of slave holders treated their slaves well." -- United States History for Christian Schools, 2nd ed., Bob Jones University Press, 1991

6. The KKK was A-OK: "[The Ku Klux] Klan in some areas of the country tried to be a means of reform, fighting the decline in morality and using the symbol of the cross. Klan targets were bootleggers, wife-beaters, and immoral movies. In some communities it achieved a certain respectability as it worked with politicians." -- United States History for Christian Schools, 3rd ed., Bob Jones University Press, 2001

7. The Great Depression wasn't as bad as the liberals made it sound: "Perhaps the best known work of propaganda to come from the Depression was John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath…Other forms of propaganda included rumors of mortgage foreclosures, mass evictions, and hunger riots and exaggerated statistics representing the number of unemployed and homeless people in America." -- United States History: Heritage of Freedom, 2nd ed., A Beka Book, 1996
www.motherjones.com

There's more, of course:

* The Supreme Court enslaved fetuses
* Satan uses Communism to attack the family
* Mark Twain and Emily Dickinson were a couple of hacks

"Scientific" silliness? No problem:

* God created the laws of mathematics
* Environmentalists are out to destroy the world economy
* Globalization is the run-up to the rapture, but first "[t]he Anti-Christ will tightly regulate who may buy and sell."

(Source: www.motherjones.com)

Then again, Louisiana is probably the only state with a governor who wrote about participating in an exorcism. (See Jindal's article "Physical Dimensions of Spiritual Warfare" (New Oxford Review, Dec. 1994)

From Piyush Jindal's early memoir, in which the Lucifer and "intimacy" loom large:

Though she had not said anything, I knew something was wrong. Susan and I had developed an intimate friendship; indeed, our relationship mystified observers, who insisted on finding a romantic component where none existed. I called her after the University Christian Fellowship (UCF) meeting....Susan had left the meeting in a very sullen mood. I asked her to join a group of us who were attending a Christian a cappella concert to be held on campus that same evening.

Despite our intimacy, Susan and I had not spent much time together this past year. We had succumbed to pressure from our friends and decided we should not be so emotionally interdependent without a deeper commitment.....Though Susan appeared composed throughout the concert, her sudden departure in the middle of a song convinced me otherwise and affirmed my earlier suspicions.

I found that she had not gone far, but was sobbing uncontrollably outside the auditorium. Since we had been very careful to avoid any form of physical contact in our friendship, I was not sure how to respond. My inaction and her sobs produced a very awkward situation. Fortunately, a female friend who followed us out was able to comfort Susan with hugs and soothing words of reassurance; her quick action was in stark contrast to my paralysis. Once Susan had regained her composure and fell silent, I knew I had to intervene. The female friend meant well, but did not know Susan well enough to provide the advice Susan was sure to seek....

When we finally reached her dorm room, I promptly sat Susan on a bed and placed myself in a chair located several feet across the room. This physical arrangement was hardly conducive to the love and support I was supposed to be providing, but I was too scared and unsure of myself to get any closer.
www.newoxfordreview.org

What's next? Dry humping? Coitus interruptus? The Rapture?

No, an exorcism. But you have to pony up and buy the article or subscribe to the journal.

But wait, excerpts have appeared elsewhere.

"Kneeling on the ground, my friends were chanting, 'Satan, I command you to leave this woman.' Others exhorted all 'demons to leave in the name of Christ,'" Jindal wrote.

He described a student "brandishing a crucifix" and his friend responding to biblical passages with "curses and profanities" in an event that ended with his friend feeling "purified." He doesn't use the word exorcism to describe the event in the university classroom, and he talks of his confusion about what he witnessed. He ends the writing by describing his belief in "the reality of spirits, angels and other related phenomena that I can neither touch nor see."
www.nola.com

I wonder what a GOPer 2016 dream team might look like. How about Piyush Jindal/Christine O'Donnell?

Sometimes I wonder if the GOP is still a real political party or a third-rate, two-bit revival tent performance run amok.

The 2016 GOP platform document should probably be a bilingual edition featuring English and Glossolalia texts.

I take it you're performing at the top of your cohort in one of Louisiana's woe-begotten charter schools of religious instruction paid for on the taxpayers' dime.

Have you seen a volcano erupting in Louisiana lately?

Hope springs eternal in the human breast...
– Alexander Pope, An Essay on Man