Schoolboy Suspended for Pop-Tart Gun | Drudge Retort

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Schoolboy Suspended for Pop-Tart Gun

A seven-year-old boy was suspended for two days by his elementary school because he fashioned his Pop-Tart pastry into the shape of a gun. Josh Welch said, "All I was trying to do was turn it into a mountain but, it didn't look like a mountain really and it turned out to be a gun kinda." Park Elementary School in Brooklyn Park, Md., sent a letter home to parents stating, "A student used food to make an inappropriate gesture."

Posted by pirate at 01:30 PM | 40 COMMENTS | permalink | Comment on This Entry |

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Admin's note: Participants in this discussion must follow the site's moderation policy. Personal attacks, profanity, abusive conduct and expressions of prejudice are not allowed. If you have comments about site moderation, contact the site publisher in email.

Was it an assault Pop Tart of just a semi-automatic Pop Tart?

#1 | Posted by paneocon at 2013-03-04 03:19 PM | Reply | Flag:

of = or

#2 | Posted by paneocon at 2013-03-04 03:26 PM | Reply | Flag:

#1 | POSTED BY PANEOCON

Depends on if it was glazed or not (cant think of the term Pop Tart uses).

That added "feature" changes the whole performance of the Pop Tart.

Unfortunately for the Pop Tart in question, this does actually alter the performance and doesn't just make it look different.

So, guilty as charged.

I detest zero tolerance laws as they take away any thought in the process and to me is mostly PC [...] so the district doesn't get sued.

Pretty much painted themselves into a corner and will likely be sued, or at least overruled, anyway.

#3 | Posted by Lohocla at 2013-03-04 03:32 PM | Reply | Flag:

Another great example of "zero tolerance" in action. This country is retarded.

#4 | Posted by nullifidian at 2013-03-04 03:32 PM | Reply | Flag:

Stupid. Just stupid. It's a f'ing pastry.

#5 | Posted by pragmatist at 2013-03-04 03:35 PM | Reply | Flag:

If he hadn't have formed a 50 round magazine, he might have gotten away with it.

#6 | Posted by Corky at 2013-03-04 03:53 PM | Reply | Flag:

Outlaw Pop Tarts and only Outlaws will own Pop Tarts.

#7 | Posted by gracieamazed at 2013-03-04 04:25 PM | Reply | Flag:

In January, a 5-year-old girl was suspended for making a "terroristic threat" at a kindergarten in the Mount Carmel Area, Pa., School District for saying she was going to shoot classmates and herself with her pink "Hello Kitty" bubble gun.

#8 | Posted by sames1 at 2013-03-04 04:47 PM | Reply | Flag:

Gotta love those genius educators.

#9 | Posted by sames1 at 2013-03-04 04:48 PM | Reply | Flag:

Them educators be smart.

#10 | Posted by sames1 at 2013-03-04 04:49 PM | Reply | Flag:

The solution to this problem is to arm all of the other Kindergarteners with poptarts.

#11 | Posted by Zed at 2013-03-04 04:55 PM | Reply | Flag:

2 more strikes and he is going to become a permanent resident of Corrections Inc.

Gotta love those geniuses who decided we need a for profit prison system (R)

#12 | Posted by ChiefTutMoses at 2013-03-04 05:07 PM | Reply | Flag:

In my day every boy came to elementary school with a virtual armory in their imagination.

From my cold dead brain!

#13 | Posted by Tor at 2013-03-04 05:24 PM | Reply | Flag:

Oh, for the love of God.

#14 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2013-03-05 12:17 AM | Reply | Flag:

osh has been suspended for two days because he took his breakfast pastry and fashioned it into a gun.

THIS is why I hate "zero tolerance" policies. Frankly, the only reason they exist is so administrators can say "hey, it wasn't me, those are the rules...zero tolerance" and that way THEY DON'T GET SUED.

Our society has become so litigious that it has transformed to an absurdity beyond Monty Pythonesque levels.

#15 | Posted by Alexandrite at 2013-03-05 01:09 AM | Reply | Flag:

15: The Department of Silly Pastries? : )

#16 | Posted by pragmatist at 2013-03-05 10:45 AM | Reply | Flag:

Hey, the pop tart was a dangerous weapon already! Ever read the sugar content of one of those things?

#17 | Posted by hawk at 2013-03-05 10:45 AM | Reply | Flag:

Are schools going to ban "L"? Cause if you turn it clockwise, it's a gun.

#18 | Posted by pirate at 2013-03-05 01:48 PM | Reply | Flag:

A gun that shoots pop-tarts! That's cool!

#19 | Posted by Harry_Powell at 2013-03-05 01:55 PM | Reply | Flag:

I'd rather have a toaster I can get to instead of a pop-tart gun I can't get to.

#20 | Posted by Harry_Powell at 2013-03-05 01:56 PM | Reply | Flag:

20: Well done.

#21 | Posted by pragmatist at 2013-03-05 02:08 PM | Reply | Flag:

I had to check to make sure this wasn't an entry from The Onion.

#22 | Posted by jbv at 2013-03-05 02:31 PM | Reply | Flag:

Those lib teachers wouldn't recognize a pop tart from a real gun even if was shoved up their ass..

#23 | Posted by fwthom at 2013-03-05 03:27 PM | Reply | Flag:

#23 Is that the test you use?

#24 | Posted by 726 at 2013-03-05 03:31 PM | Reply | Flag:

FWTHOM is an expert in detecting things in his *ss.

#25 | Posted by madscientist at 2013-03-05 03:55 PM | Reply | Flag:

Our society has become so litigious that it has transformed to an absurdity beyond Monty Pythonesque levels.

#15 | Posted by Alexandrite

Yep. Lawyers dominate Washington and as a result they write laws that to benefit litigation.

#26 | Posted by JeffJ at 2013-03-05 04:11 PM | Reply | Flag:

UPDATE II: School Offers Counseling for Students Troubled by Pastry-Gun Incident

www.loweringthebar.net

The elementary school that was the scene of Josh's brutally harmless rampage sent students home Friday with a letter describing the incident as if it had actually been serious:

Dear Parents and Guardians:

I am writing to let you know about an incident that occurred this morning in one of our classrooms and encourage you to discuss this matter with your child in a manner you deem most appropriate.

During breakfast this morning, one of our students used food to make inappropriate gestures that disrupted the class. While no physical threats were made and no one [was] harmed, the student had to be removed from the classroom.

* * *

As you are aware, the ... Code of Student Conduct and appropriate consequences related to violations of the code are clearly spelled out in the Student Handbook, which was sent home during the first week of school and can be found on our website, www.aacps.org....

If your children express that they are troubled by today's incident, please talk with them and help them share their feelings. Our school counselor is available to meet with any students who have the need to do so next week. In general, please remind them of the importance of making good choices.

Any gun of any kind, loaded or unloaded, operable or inoperable, including any object other than a firearm which is a look-a-like of a gun. This shall include, but is not limited to, pellet gun, paintball gun, stun gun, taser, BB gun, flare gun, nail gun, and air soft gun.

#27 | Posted by zack991 at 2013-03-05 06:13 PM | Reply | Flag:

Remind me not to invite you to dinner.

#29 | Posted by Harry_Powell at 2013-03-05 06:29 PM | Reply | Flag:

No problem Harry.

It probably took them a hour and two calls to the solicitors office to come up with that little gem.

rwd

#30 | Posted by rightwingdon at 2013-03-05 06:48 PM | Reply | Flag:

Yeah Baby! You Can Do It!

#31 | Posted by reitze at 2013-03-05 10:01 PM | Reply | Flag:

"School offers counseling for traumatized students who saw classmate chew breakfast pastry into shape of gun"

"For any students who were traumatized by the frightening toaster strudel ordeal, counseling is available:

The school sent home a letter to parents saying, "During breakfast this morning, one of our students used food to make inappropriate gestures that disrupted the class. While no physical threats were made and no one was harmed, the student had to be removed from the classroom."

Parents should talk to their children if they're troubled by the incident, the school said, and the school counselor will be available for any student who needs to talk.

It's been pointed out that because the Pop Tart had a filling, the pastry weapon was likely considered to be loaded".

michellemalkin.com

#32 | Posted by KBM at 2013-03-06 09:30 AM | Reply | Flag:

If he hadn't have formed a 50 round magazine, he might have gotten away with it.

#6 | Posted by Corky

No, the pistol grip put it on the list also.

#33 | Posted by Sniper at 2013-03-06 11:06 AM | Reply | Flag:

Gotta love those geniuses who decided we need a for profit prison system (R)

#12 | Posted by ChiefTutMoses

Wrong again chi breath.

#34 | Posted by Sniper at 2013-03-06 11:07 AM | Reply | Flag:

Gun shape and transfats...this kid is f*$%ed.

#35 | Posted by kanrei at 2013-03-06 11:08 AM | Reply | Flag:

Those lib teachers wouldn't recognize a pop tart from a real gun even if was shoved up their ass..

#23 | Posted by fwthom

The pain from the front sight on a real one is a dead give-away.

#36 | Posted by Sniper at 2013-03-06 11:10 AM | Reply | Flag:

Did it have a thumb hole?
Those make them more deadly.
~Diane FineSwine, idiot

#37 | Posted by Zatoichi at 2013-03-06 11:13 AM | Reply | Flag:

Soon, child suspended for picking up L shaped stick.

Schoolboy sentenced to 10 years for pointing; teacher said his hand looked like a gun.

#38 | Posted by kanrei at 2013-03-06 11:14 AM | Reply | Flag:

Seems it is OK to show a teacher your middle finger but not your index finger.

#39 | Posted by Sniper at 2013-03-06 02:12 PM | Reply | Flag:

if I am making a homemade gun to off one of my classmates, it will not contain a raspberry filling.

#40 | Posted by AuntieSocial at 2013-03-07 07:22 AM | Reply | Flag:

Seems it is OK to show a teacher your middle finger but not your index finger.
#39 | POSTED BY SNIPER

Liberals are losing the debate on gun control.

#41 | Posted by RonPaul at 2013-03-07 10:44 AM | Reply | Flag:

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