Be sure and give the photos a look, because they sure show what this woman is talking about. Two tips to any aspiring man-whores here: 1) Do not pluck your eyebrows like Sandra Bullock's, and 2) If your teeth are so widely spaced that you need a hawser to floss, you might want to consult a dentist.

Chris:

One of the photo captions still has me laughing:

"Markus explains the advantage of hiring him over using that very basic female privilege of being able to walk down the street and find a willing partner in two seconds. 'I'm cleaner than 90 percent of the people you meet at a bar.'"

Bigpun:

I hate to break it to you, but a splash in the bathroom sink at the local watering hole doesn't cut it. You really want to give yourself a thorough laundering before firing up the F-150, mmkay?

Chris:

I could see it on business trips, where the convenience factor would be great - no idiot pawing you, just a good old-fashioned shtupping and then you can get back to work. You know the old adage about whores: "They don't pay you for the sex. They pay you to go away."

That having been said, the Shady Lady seriously needs to upgrade the merchandise. That guy's too young, too short, and clearly doesn't have enough experience to have a clue what his preferred customers might like. He'll end up doing gay-for-pay at the rate he's going.

"Reading this story makes me feel sorry for the prosti-dude. Why is he telling people he's sexually inexperienced and wasn't nurtured by his mother? That's some agonizingly awkward seduction."

The whole thing's kind of sad. After all the hype, the nation's first male gigolo and the place he works for are exposed as shabby. What should have been naughty and fun, with the titillation of some dangerous glamour, is just a scared kid in a seedy motel-like setting. I think Stadmiller could have pulled a couple of punches without losing anything important, like the tidbit about Markus having chores. Her own job's got its less glamorous moments, trust me.

But the worst of it has to be Patrick himself, who is revealed to be a kid who's rudderless, filled with aspiration unbacked by education or even a reasonable level of street smarts, and who - saddest of all - was absolutely certain this was his big chance.

"Bullshit. He is using his "po lil o me" schtick because he thinks it will land him a sugar momma cougar that needs a baby stud muffin to hang on her arm."

You don't get it, do you? I'm not talking about his line about not having been weaned properly - I'm talking about how he obviously thought this was going to make him Somebody. Instead, he's getting chewed up and spit out by the media. I would not be at all surprised if Stadtmiller's story gets him fired, which will take away what little he has. Sad.

"Now one would think if she was going to pay $500 to get laid by an effeminate gigolo at least she would have reported on the quality of the ride."

RTFM. She didn't take the ride, only paid him a visit to see what kind of "fantasy experience" he offered.

Ring:

Sounds like Markus, for all his shortcomings, has you seriously outclassed.

And Stadtmiller really didn't need to be getting totally horizontal with the guy - it wasn't necessary to her story, wasn't a good idea from a journalistic ethics standpoint, and could cause problems if Markus wanted to contradict her version of events. I think she was pretty bold to take it as far as she did.