Drudge Retort: Red Meat for Yellow Dogs

Pastor Kimberly Daniels of Jacksonville warns that Halloween trick-or-treating invites demonic infestation of your home. "During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."

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Methinks she got into the communion wine.

But there is nothing holy about Halloween.

Having all souls walk the earth at the same time is so unholy!

Hilarious.

NOW it feels like Halloween. I couldn't put my finger on what was missing until right now: Christian Outrage.

This is just part of the Christian War on Halloween.

"time-released curses"

I ate some mushrooms like that once.

That article makes the writers for Landover Baptist Church look like pious seminary students.

Fucking snake-handlers are gonna be the death of us all.

I'm Irish. Denigrating one of my people's national holidays is hate speech. I demand a public apology, either that or a full-size Snickers bar.

These activities include:

* Sex with demons
* Orgies between animals and humans
* Animal and human sacrifices
* Sacrificing babies to shed innocent blood
* Rape and molestation of adults, children and babies
* Revel nights
* Conjuring of demons and casting of spells
* Release of "time-released" curses against the innocent and the ignorant.


Methinks she copied that from the Republican Convention's Schedule.

I think Jehovah's Witnesses also don't celebrate Halloween?

Substitue "drugs" for "candy" and this bitch has got the number of most evil lefties.

"Halloween: A Teachable Moment About Socialism

Use the five guidelines listed below and allow the 2009 version of the costume- and candy-intensive holiday to serve as a teachable moment about socialism and about "spreading the wealth around" in the manner touted so often by President Barack Obama:

1. Tell your child he cannot eat any of the candy he collects and will, instead, have to take all of it to the ACORN office nearest your home (wipe tears);

2. Tell your child he will have to turn over their bags full of candy to the government-authorized agents who, in addition to collecting the candy, will need to record his name, Social Security number and contact information for future use (wipe tears);

3. Tell your child he will have to wait 12 weeks for ACORN officials to count all of the candy he collected and repackage it for equal-share redistribution among all children in their community (wipe tears);

4. Tell your child that, within 12 weeks, he should expect to be provided instructions for picking up a his fair and equal share of the treats he collected after ACORN officials finish counting all of the collected collected candies (wipe tears); and

5. Tell your child that the scenario above offers them a glimpse of what the future in the United States will look like if socialism is allowed to flourish (wipe tears for last time) and that he can keep his children from having to experience such pain by voting for and by encouraging others to vote for conservatives whose values line up with those of this country's founders and the framers of the U.S. Constitution."

bobmccarty.com

bobmccarty.com

#11 | Posted by KBM

You really have a talent for finding the most retarded rightwing bullshit on the internet.

"Messiah of the Right".

I can't think of anyone the right has called Messiah lately. That isn't true of lefties, though.

It's obviously embarrassing to the DR libbies that there are a good bit of non-DR libbies who think Obama's deification is nigh.

O-BAH-MAHH HMMMMMMMMMM

I can't think of anyone the right has called Messiah lately. That isn't true of lefties, though.
...

#13 | Posted by rightisright

Lying sack of shit. As usual.

"That isn't true of lefties, though."

IT's the right that calls Obama that. I think many of them want to crucify him.

Nah, that would make Biden president. Which would--I know this just staggers the imagination, but it's true--be a lot worse.

Plus, that would only make the libbies' point for them. Besides, the leg-tingling, water-ceases-to-rise and war-ending, Nobel-Peace-Prize-winning most powerful writer since Julius Caesar makes for great entertainment.

Tell your children that when they go trick or treating don't be concerned when the houses lights are off, the residents' jobs were outsourced and they can't pay the electric bills.

Tell your children when they say "trick or treat" and the folks in the houses have nothing for them its ok cuz the wealthy folks' stocks are going up in value again.

Tell your children that those kids over there dressed like homeless people really are homeless people.

Tell your children not to be upset when right wing tools accuse them of being pan handlers for trick or treating.

Tell your children to be kind to the kids who's Daddy was killed in Iraq so that King George could be a "war time president."

Tell your children not to be scared when they trick or treat and the people in the house wear their guns when they hand out treats....it's their 2nd amendment right.

Sounds like a good reason not to give out anything on Halloween.

Guess I will just turn off the lights and pretend not to be home.

Thanks for the tip CBN!

Appears to have been pulled.

Here's the Google cache: 74.125.95.132

CBN took the page down.:[

Anyone have a capture? I want to read the entire piece.

On topic: As for "everything God has, the devil has a counterfeit", wouldn't the Christian worship on these originally Pagan holy days qualify? Stupid fundamentalists need to be de-programmed. Televangelists should lose all tax exemption and perhaps incarcerated for these kinds of extreme misconduct and hate mongering. Oh, there's prolly a couple kilo's of Colombian prima and a 13 y/o sex slave in her "sanctuary"..

Halloween is supposed to be all about the kids now, just like all holidays. Fundamentalists should never have children.

The writer of the story is a woman by the name of Kimberly Daniels. Here is a link to her website:


kimberlydaniels.com

The War Room page is interesting

Welcome to your nightmare. Don't pay any attention to ghosts and goblins that want to eat you heart out. They are mostly into livers and spleens. It's all a paper trip anyway.

Substitute "drugs" for "candy"

Always fun.

They are oft times interchangable but not mutually exclusive of each other.

Pot and licorice all sorts, fer example, is a wicked good combination.

This chick is just mad that the Great Pumpkin is cutting in on God's limelight.

Silly fundie.

BOO!

Happy Halloween!

Be Well.

Welcome to your nightmare. Don't pay any attention to ghosts and goblins that want to eat you heart out. They are mostly into livers and spleens. It's all a paper trip anyway.
#22 | Posted by RingMaster at 2009-10-29 07:03 PM

How do they "Biblically" explain Lucifer having evil clone duplicates of everything that can supersede the divine order? Fundamentalists are quite obviously inferior creations, easily manipulated and prone to believing fiercely in that which is not in their own best interest - meaning they are the children of an uncaring, ignorance-loving, hate-filled God.:]

The writer of the story is a woman by the name of Kimberly Daniels. Here is a link to her website:
kimberlydaniels.com
The War Room page is interesting
#21 | Posted by SLBronkowitz at 2009-10-29 06:45 PM

I still can't find the original blog entry.. that was taken down quick!

Here's another take on her diatribe from Reverend Barry W. Lynn discussing the article with Pat Robertson:

Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network Warns Americans of Demonic' Halloween Candy
AU's Lynn Says Religious Broadcaster Should Send Trick Or Treat' Goodies Over to His House

WASHINGTON - October 29 - Put aside your fears of swine flu. TV preacher Pat Robertson's Web site has just issued a bulletin warning Americans of the real threat we face this season: Demons may be lurking in our Halloween candy.

In a column on the Christian Broadcasting Network's Web site, writer Kimberly Daniels asserts that "demons" sneak into bags of Halloween candy at grocery stores.

"[M]ost of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches," Daniels wrote. "I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference."

The Rev. Barry W. Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, urged Robertson and Daniels to lighten up.

"I've heard of the devil being in the details, but to think he's lurking inside a Snickers bar is a little too much," Lynn quipped. "Pat Robertson has always peddled some scary stuff, but this is over the top."

Added Lynn, "I hate to see all of that candy go to waste. I wish Robertson would send it to me, because I'm throwing a Halloween party and could use it."

Daniels asserts that far from being harmless fun, Halloween is a veritable doorway to hell, full of literal monsters.

"Halloween is much more than a holiday filled with fun and tricks or treats," she wrote. "It is a time for the gathering of evil that masquerades behind the fictitious characters of Dracula, werewolves, mummies and witches on brooms. The truth is that these demons that have been presented as scary cartoons actually exist. I have prayed for witches who are addicted to drinking blood and howling at the moon."

Robertson, founder of the Christian Coalition and an influential player in American politics, has long opposed Halloween. As far back as 1982, he attacked the holiday as a "Satanic ritual" and said on the air, "I think we ought to close Halloween down."

CBN later produced a pamphlet titled "Hallowed or Harmful: Christian Perspective on Halloween." It asserted, "During Halloween, little children in particular are the weak ones."

On Oct. 29, 2007, Robertson called Halloween a "festival of the devil" and added that celebrating the holiday is "a mistake for Christians."

Lynn urged Robertson to take a deep breath and try to relax.

"I think Pat has been watching too many scary movies," Lynn said. "Still, if he doesn't want to celebrate Halloween, that's fine with me, but he should quit trying to spoil everyone else's fun."

Good news Pat. There actually is no Satan. It's all just for fun. No demons either but there definitely are long leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night. Gee Mr. Robertson it must be scary to be you.


You will all rue the day when The Great Pumpkin comes and exacts his revenge on your heathen souls.

Christian worship on these originally Pagan holy days qualify?

Like Christmas and Easter. Christians have been on the wrong track for a long time.

Or were santa and the easter bunny actually apostles, too? If the RC church gave easter eggs instead of dry wafers at communion, I might go...

Jesus wasn't born in December and didn't get crucified on a date that changes in relationship to the full moon.

Unless he was a werewolf, which would explain the whole blood and flesh thingie...

I am tired of this War on Halloween and it't time to fight back!


The scariest part about Halloween are the religious nutcases like the one is this article.

Boo!

.. "[M]ost of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches," Daniels wrote. "I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference." ..

She's aiming at the candy, thus to destroy the holiday for children. A despicable creature.

The best part of halloween is the day after when all the candy goes on sale for 70% off!

OH LAWD!!!

Begone, ye harbinger of sin, Candified Corn!

Renounce yaw-uh devilish ways, all ye pieces of Reese's!

Cast out yow-uh demons, Almond Joy!


LOL!

Christians are always seeking opportunities to be martyred, so they can be just like their imaginary friend!!

#28 | POSTED BY NORTHGUY3 AT 2009-10-29 07:51 PM | REPLY | FLAG
#33 | POSTED BY ZARATHUSTRA AT 2009-10-29 11:26 PM | REPLY | FLAG

Damn it guys, you beat me to my pagan joke and my invisible friend taunt.

Grrr. i gota start blowing off work more while im here to catch the new posts faster =(

"For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."

We need a term that is stronger than Bat Shit Crazy for this woman.

Incidentally, im off to get some witch candy!
its like Kosher Hot Dogs..

They are just better for some reason.

The best part of halloween is the day after when all the candy goes on sale for 70% off!

#32 | POSTED BY NANC AT 2009-10-29 09:07 PM | REPLY | FLAG:

When Nance is right she is right.
I cant wait to get my hands on some discount peanut butter cups!

MMMMM Arterial Plaque! mmmmmmm

I guess no one told pat Robinson that Halloween is actually a religious holiday started by Christians. It's the eve of All Saints Day or in the old days known as All Hallows Eve. People dressed up in ghoulish costumes to keep the bad guys away for from their religious festival.

The candy came later. It's an American invention. I suspect the American Dental Association.

I guess no one told pat Robinson that Halloween is actually a religious holiday started by Christians. It's the eve of All Saints Day or in the old days known as All Hallows Eve. People dressed up in ghoulish costumes to keep the bad guys away for from their religious festival.
The candy came later. It's an American invention. I suspect the American Dental Association.
#35 | Posted by RingMaster at 2009-10-30 01:43 AM

Hate to break this to you: it's the Pagan holy day Samhain (a contraction of "summers end"). It's originally a harvest festival. The All Saints' Day tradition was started by the Catholic Church to co-opt the Pagan rituals. Celebrated the day after Samhain, All Saints' Day was soon joined by yet another Catholic invented holy day on November 2nd - All Souls' Day.

Saints and whatnot are all deceased mortals Christianity have re-invented into "divinity", typically well into their post-mortem years and traditionally due to their martyrs death.

Samhain pays respect to the harvest, marks the end of Summer and homage to the dead. This is probably where Americans get our affection for dressing up as the undead on this day. Large bonfires were lit and cattle were selected for slaughter to last through the upcoming winter. This is the beginning of the Celtic seasonal calendar and a night feast for the living in honor of the dead is important to the celebrations. Otherwise it has nothing really to do with candy and goblins to my knowledge.

Pat Robertson makes up shit live on the air. I've seen him do it from five feet away. He's one of the reasons I quit broadcasting and went back to college to study physics. Willie Nelson was one of the other reasons.

The fact that Pat is a billionaire is a sad indictment of humanity.

* Release of "time-released" curses against the innocent and the ignorant.

Our new curses have two layers! One dissolves quickly into your soul to ensure prompt demonic torture while the other is slowly released to make sure you stay destined for eternal damnation. Side effects were generally mild and include talking backwards in Latin, projectile vomiting, twisting of the head in circles, cattle mutilation, and a hunger for human flesh. Occasionally, people taking time-released curses may wake up covered in blood with no memory of the events of the previous night.

Talk to your witch doctor about Satanazine XR, the only once-daily curse tablet clinically proven to be five times stronger the Evil Eye.

Talk to your witch doctor about Satanazine XR

4 outta 5 Witch Doctors surveyed recomended Satanzine XR over it's leading competitor.

Be Well.

4 outta 5 Witch Doctors surveyed recomended Satanzine XR over it's leading competitor.

The other one had his head shrunken...

The other one had his head shrunken...

Nothing wrong with a little therapy.

Be Well.

from Northguy above...(a partial listing)

These activities include:


* Sex with demons
* Orgies between animals and humans
* Animal and human sacrifices

Cats and Dogs sleeping together,
MASS HYSTERIA!!

(I'd like to thank the comedy of Bill Murray,
and the movie "Ghostbusters", for this moment
of Zen...)

I wonder if we can get some of that stimulus money to Neuter all of the religious Jesucrats in the country? Or at least to shut off their microphones.

Oh, and to dress Ann Coulter up as a Pinata, and beat her with a Happy Stick until she stops being
so Angry...

now that's Holiday Cheer!!

"Substitue "drugs" for "candy" and this bitch has got the number of most evil lefties" posted by FWTHOM

Substitute "FWTHOM" for "shit for brains" and your posts finally have some real meaning.

Crisis

I wonder if we can get some of that stimulus money to Neuter all of the religious Jesucrats in the country? Or at least to shut off their microphones.

What would we do for entertainment?

As long as Halloween has been a holiday rumors have circulated of needles and razors stuffed into apples, ex-lax and LSD in candy. Yet, there has never been a single documented case in an emergency room in this country.

Its all bullshit and its bad for you.

Lordy, lordy. We had a family in our neighborhood when I was growing up who left a note on their door every Halloween. It said that Halloween was Satan's holiday and that they do not take part in it. Some people just take things too far.


I'm Irish. Denigrating one of my people's national holidays is hate speech. I demand a public apology, either that or a full-size Snickers bar.

#7 | Posted by LetUsPrey at


oh please.
if you really WERE irish you would have asked for beer.

just joshing

lol Yav. You do know how to make a point!
So true...

but unfortunately there are some who actually
take such wingnuts seriously...(a vast rightwing
idiocracy)...(smirk).

Link not coming up.

Who said this?

Besides, the leg-tingling, water-ceases-to-rise and war-ending, Nobel-Peace-Prize-winning most powerful writer since Julius Caesar makes for great entertainment.

#16 | Posted by rightisright at 2009-10-29 05:46 PM

LOL!

Of course it is!
that is like saying churches are christian.
Halloween is pagan, duh.

JESUS CHRIST!!! Can't the right keep these nutjobs in check.

Take a chill pill and let the kids have their fun.

MMMMM Arterial Plaque! mmmmmmm

#34 | Posted by Valisk at 2009-10-30 12:11 AM | Reply | Flag

Some call it "arterial plaque", others call it "time-released curses"...

For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches

This line especially concerns me - who knew that Wal-Mart was now employing witches??!!?!

Seriously, Ms. Daniels, it's a freakin' kids holiday. Take a chill pill and let the kiddos have some guilt-free candy and fun once and awhile.

Yeah, I'm sure all sorts of crazy stuff happens on Halloween; but if you read the papers (or the magical invention called the internets) you'll see that all sorts of crazy stuff happens every day of the year. It's not like a normal rational person is suddenly gonna decide animal sex is good for him just because he ate a reeses peanut butter cup on the 31st...

I think a lot of the bashing of the ideas presented article is due to racism. I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward the author is based on the fact that she is a black woman, that she's African-American.

Halloween is most certainly not the festival of Lucifer, which was the Roman name of the morning star, or Venus. In the Vulgate, an early Latin translation of the Hebrew scriptures, at Isaiah 14, Lucifer was substituted for a Hebrew reference to the morning star. This chapter of Isaiah is talking about the fall of a hated Babylonian king, not a fallen angel, which identification came later as the theology of Satan developed in the early Christian church.

Halloween is an ancient pagan festival marking an eve when the souls of the dead were believed to roam freely and cause mischief among the living. The costumes and fireworks were intended to scare these ghouls back to the grave.

* Release of "time-released" curses against the innocent and the ignorant.

Our new curses have two layers! One dissolves quickly into your soul to ensure prompt demonic torture while the other is slowly released to make sure you stay destined for eternal damnation. Side effects were generally mild and include talking backwards in Latin, projectile vomiting, twisting of the head in circles, cattle mutilation, and a hunger for human flesh. Occasionally, people taking time-released curses may wake up covered in blood with no memory of the events of the previous night.
Talk to your witch doctor about Satanazine XR, the only once-daily curse tablet clinically proven to be five times stronger the Evil Eye.
#38 | Posted by ZombieHunter at 2009-10-30 04:38 AM

FF! The only thing missing is the demonic ass pregnancy, but I think I know where my investments are going! Thank you ZombieHunter, and thank you Satanize XR!

Thx Kimberly....

Interesting to see the responses....

People who are 'gifted' to see spiritual beings can see more demons during halloween === these demons try to enter into people's lives or bring trouble, in some cases even deaths...

I do not celebrate halloween.

^.^

"These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings."

In other words, the "demons" are the CHILDREN who come around trick or treating! Run for the hills! :)


John B.
www.politicscity.com

^.^

"I think Jehovah's Witnesses also don't celebrate Halloween?"

Certainly not. They don't celebrate most holidays, as they consider them to be "of the world that's in the process of dying".


John B.
www.politicscity.com

^.^

Yeah, I'm going to eat MORE candy so I can get my daily dose of SATAN.


John B.
www.politicscity.com

For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches

Are they talking about kosher candy too? You think they mean that Jews are actually witches?

Those kwazy quistions!

Many M&M Mars products are kosher, including Dove Chocolate, M&Ms, 3 Musketeers, Milky Way, Snickers, Starburst and Twix. (Dove Chocolate Promises are not kosher. For other Dove Chocolate, look for a hechsher on the packaging.

Jelly beans, JBz chocolate candies, JB Gum, and sugar free candy are kosher.

Many Nestle chocolate products, including Perugina, After Eight, Bit-O-Honey, Chunky, Oh Henry!, Buncha Crunch, Turtles, Nips, Treasures, Goobers, Raisinets, Sno-Caps, 100 Grand Bar, Baby Ruth, Butterfinger, Laffy Taffy, and Nestle Crunch, have O-U certification. Check the packaging for the O-U symbol.

A detailed listing of kosher products are can be found on the Hershey's web site.

Ghirardelli also makes a lot of O-U certified stuff.

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