Over the years, I have come to a few conclusions about marriage, relationships and what makes it work.

Personally, I am just shocked when I hear women talk about telling her husband no when he wants to have sex. Does she think using sex to control her husband is in her best interest?

I have come to the conclusion that unless a woman is just incapable of getting into a position, there is very few reasons she should ever tell him no. Sometimes it can just be a quicky, but she needs to love him enough to not use it as a weapon.

The hard cold reality is that most men need/want sex a LOT more often than the wife...well...most of the time.

I have listened to women complain about their marriages and I hear them talk about their husbands.

Is it any wonder some of them find themselves with husbands who lose interest in the marriage, in the relationship, or with the woman herself?

But...of course....everything's the man's fault.

Mystery,

Of course...you didn't tell us what....ummm...tools you have attached to the belt?

I must say I'M enjoying the visual image, if no one else.

Phoenix,

Notice I didn't say she should drop to her knees and...well...perform on demand.

I've always thought men who insist on that form of sex are sort of selfish.

Sex should be mutually enjoyed.

However, there's always the women who get offended when men believe a wife has an obligation to him physically. And, it works both ways. He has an obligation as well, which includes going the extra mile to make sure she enjoys herself.

Obviously, force and mind games are out of the question. I'm just saying in "good relationships", neither the husband nor the wife use sex as a weapon or use sex to exert any control over the other.

In the long run, it's a bad idea.

The way I look at it, if a couple can't understand this concept, I suspect their problems are much greater than frequency of sex.

I mean....getting offended/hurt if he asks for sex, OR getting offended/hurt if she says, "not right now" are both sort of childish and immature.

Mature healthly couples just talk about it, without getting mad or offended or hurt feelings.