Drudge Retort: Red Meat for Yellow Dogs

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You're a day late and a dollar short, Red.

"Cleansing The Bible of its Liberal Bias"

stop at Malachi.

I chuckle everytime some liberal suggests that a man who said there was only one way to heaven is a fellow lib.

I chuckle everytime some liberal suggests that a man who said there was only one way to heaven is a fellow lib.

#3 | Posted by LIVE_OR_DIE

That's only after you die that he becomes dictatorial. Between here and there though, how many of his teachings are truly embraced by the right?

Mind you, I don't care one way or another.

I support this. The Bible can be transformed from the Good Book to the Holy Leaflet.

That's only after you die that he becomes dictatorial. Between here and there though, how many of his teachings are truly embraced by the right?

Mind you, I don't care one way or another.

#4 | Posted by Hagbard_Celine at 2009-10-06 12:39 PM

I don't think many of his teachings are embraced by many people at all, regardless of left-right political affiliation.

Nor do I care; ascribing modern day political persuasions to an ancient figure seems pointless imo.

That eliminates Jesus.

I don't think many of his teachings are embraced by many people at all, regardless of left-right political affiliation.

You mean the "prosperity gospel" isn't actually in there?

Nor do I care; ascribing modern day political persuasions to an ancient figure seems pointless imo.

Changing your life because of the ramblings attributed to an ancient figure is equally pointless.

Changing your life because of the ramblings attributed to an ancient figure is equally pointless.

#8 | Posted by ZombieHunter at 2009-10-06 12:44 PM

Not if it helps one, say, give up a destructive life style.

Abraham is a Conservative of sorts- he did break everyone else's god because he no longer believed it and was willing to kill his son because of a voice in his head.


Moses was a liberal, but of the BoOB variety as he also heard voices commanding him to start his own country.

David was a Conservative. He started a war just to bed his best friend's wife.

Solomon was a Conservative. He spent state funds to build a Temple.

Lot was a liberal. He argued the death sentence with G-d to save one good person out of millions.

Noah was a conservative simply because he built his boat and didn't use illegal labor.

Anyone else?

"I know that when Jesus does come back, he'll probably have an Uzi on him."

"Hey everybody, it's Jesus and he's pissed off. Said something about a cross........"BAM BAM BAM BAM

Not if it helps one, say, give up a destructive life style.

Sure, it's just not the only way to do that. It's silly when people act like it is.

If you can kick your smack habit because it makes Jesus cry, you could have given it up at any point before that. It just took a bit of myth and mental gymnastics to convince you.

So sure, there's probably always going to be a place for religion in society... it's not essential, however.

"I know that when Jesus does come back, he'll probably have an Uzi on him."




Passions II: Payback

"I know that when Jesus does come back, he'll probably have an Uzi on him."

I was thinking a .50 cal machine gun in each arm, shooting both wildly into crowds of idolatrous pagans.

He's a big motherfucker... if you can carry a cross, you can carry two .50 cal's.

How about Jesus Prime and he transforms from a cross to a person with twin mounted Hellfire Missile silos?

Mark, Matthew and Luke were Dittoheads.

Each one of them repeating the same lines of bullshit.

You guys really don't want to tempt Zed/Grendel to show up, do you?

moses was hardcore. all would-be prophets should kill a person first. it looks good on the holy resume

My 10 was a serious joke. And I don't mind Grendel, I actually like him. It's Pastor that will turn this into a Anglerfest with him as the fish.

It's Pastor that will turn this into a Anglerfest with him as the fish.
#19 | Posted by kanrei

I think before my days are done I want to be a fisherman...

The old Diamondback Sturgeon came swimming along, minding his business one day...

Say it, baby.

Say it, baby.

She knew what she wanted.
She was looking for that T-cat, and that was me.

"You're a day late and a dollar short, Red."
#1 | Posted by LIVE_OR_DIE

He wasn't finished ranting and want's us to lend an ear again.

Moses was a liberal, but of the BoOB variety as he also heard voices commanding him to start his own country.

#10 | Posted by kanrei at 2009-10-06 12:48 PM

Hilarious.

=D Thank you. I was proud of that post.

It is already "cleansed" since no one on NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC CNN or at NYT or Newsweek read it anyway.

And when they do......"God Hates Shrimp" is all they come away with.

Sure, it's just not the only way to do that. It's silly when people act like it is.

If you can kick your smack habit because it makes Jesus cry, you could have given it up at any point before that. It just took a bit of myth and mental gymnastics to convince you.

So sure, there's probably always going to be a place for religion in society... it's not essential, however.

#12 | Posted by ZombieHunter at 2009-10-06 12:51 PM

To those of us with family members who have gone through addictions, and come out of them, we don't really if the method was essential, myth, or ZombieHunter approved. We just care that what worked, worked.

The new atheists hate religion for causing between-group conflict and especially for its wanton disregard of the canons of rational thought. Yet, both of these problems extend far more widely than religion. Between-group conflict pervades the animal world. Ant colonies, lion prides, and chimp troops don't have religion, but they do have between-group conflict. As for the canons of rational thought, to the extent that brains evolved by natural selection, their main purpose is to cause organisms to behave adaptively in the real world--not to directly represent the real world.

This leads to a crucial distinction between what I call factual and practical realism. Consider Hans and Igor, who are mortal enemies. Hans understands that Igor is much like himself, even to the point of competing for the same square of ground. Igor regards Hans as an inhuman monster, completely unlike himself. If Igor's belief makes him fight with greater determination, then it counts as practically realistic, even if it is factually incorrect. Now imagine similar contests among beliefs--and the brains that create beliefs--taking place over thousands of generations of genetic and cultural evolution. Voila! We arrive at a conception of human mentality that is far more nuanced and interesting than the black-and-white cartoon of atheism vs. religion.

Read more at: www.huffingtonpost.com

*we don't really care

...that is...

For those it works for-it works.
Just STOP trying to inject it into the Government at every freakin' level.
MOST of the Founding Fathers were Deists-so that "Christian Nation" bullshit-is just that-bullshit.

If you want to live in a Theocratic-country-whose Government is based on a book written by a bunch of ignorant sheepherders 2000 years ago-I'd suggest Afghanistan-or Iraq, maybe even Iran....
If you wanna go back even further-try Israel-or China.

I don't hate religion-I just don't trust those who want to convert this country into a Fundie paradise.

Yeah, heck with that Jesus stuff, bring on the Mohammed Sharia....infidel head chopping, honor killing and all the fun it promises. It'll be like an Indiana Jones movie.


Yeehaw.


Oh yeah, God Hates Shrimp and something something polyester.......

"Oh yeah, God Hates Shrimp..."


Indeed, he does.

Yeah, heck with that Jesus stuff, bring on the Mohammed Sharia....infidel head chopping, honor killing and all the fun it promises. It'll be like an Indiana Jones movie.

Or how about bring on atheism...

Oh yeah, God Hates ShrimP

He's never had my shrimp scampi

He's never had my shrimp scampi

What happens if god sins? Does the universe just divide itself by zero and that's that?

"He's never had my shrimp scampi"


Goat, that literally means, my shrimp shrimp.

From one chef to another.

But I digress.

"Goat, that literally means, my shrimp shrimp.

#37 | Posted by The_Chapel"


Yeah, so? That's what he calls it.

"If you want to live in a theocratic country..."

No, I don't. Don't want to live in one not informed by Judeo-Christian values, either, having witnessed what people choose to substitute when they can.

As for people kicking addictions because of God, that seems to be the way most of them do it.

having witnessed what people choose to substitute when they can

God... or whatever... forbid people would actually exercise common sense and ditch the sky-man.

"As for people kicking addictions because of God, that seems to be the way most of them do it."


That's more like substituting one addiction for another.

"Exercise common snese...."

The problem with that is, and I'm not being funny, no one agrees what sort of thing common sense is.

"That's more like substituting one addiction for another...."

Well, at least the probablity you'll burglarize homes to get a fix is reduced. You'll have to admit that's an advance.

The problem with that is, and I'm not being funny, no one agrees what sort of thing common sense is.

Common sense is one of those things that is easiest to define when it's lacking...

As for people kicking addictions because of God, that seems to be the way most of them do it.

#40 | Posted by Zed

The Placebo effect is strong in this one.

THe first time I went to sea on a Navy ship I was sick as a dog. I went to the corpsman and asked for some medicine that would keep me from getting sea sick. He gave me two tablets.

The next day he asked me if I felt better. I said I did. I asked for more of the medicine. He told me they were salt tablets and that seasickness was all in my head.

The next 5.5 years in the Navy, I never got sick again. Here on the rig I see people getting sick if we get > 5 foot seas. I laugh.

"The placebo effect is strong in this one..."

Christ said anyone can walk on water if they have enough faith. Maybe "placebo" is a less threatening term for some. Doesn't really matter, does it?

Christ said anyone can walk on water if they have enough faith.

interesting that no one has ever done that on faith alone ( i remember that someone did invent these cool water feet that sorta worked but that is not using faith that is using your brain or science)


The "placebo effect" is actually getting stronger in people over the years, and is one of the most fascinating psychological studies of faith there is.

People basically curing themselves of hundreds of diverse ailments because they believe the pill they are taking works.

Stephen Colbert did a bit on this recently, where he opened up a 5 lb back of sugar and offered rectal healing if one sat in it.

bag of sugar

"Intresting no one has done that on faith alone..."

Peter was able to take a few steps, as I recall. Then he made the mistake of considering his situation rationally.

The everyday world is big, mean, and convincing. People allow themselves to be bluffed by it.


In the Aramaic, what Jesus said to Peter when he started sinking was, "Why did you double-think?".

The Zealots and the Pharisees, some of the greatest opponents of Jesus Christ on earth 2,000 years ago, were all for bringing "God's kingdom" on this earth politically and militarily...and they crucified Jesus when He didn't go along.

Us modern Christian conservatives who live comfy lives in comfy houses while attending comfy churches need to keep this in mind.

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