Raptured? Fifi left behind?

Thursday, August 27, 2009

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

Posted by dxlingr at 10:41 PM | 47 COMMENTS | permalink | Comment on This Entry

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dxlingr

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Joined 2007/11/18
Visited 2009/11/20

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If there are no dogs in heaven, I don't want to go.

#1 | Posted by Gargoyle at 2009-08-27 10:58 PM | Reply | Flag:

You can probably get a Dodger dog, with all the fixings. They're free on Thursdays
.

#2 | Posted by dxlingr at 2009-08-27 11:21 PM | Reply | Flag:

if ours are left behind, i'm hoping they fill up on libtards!

#3 | Posted by nanc at 2009-08-27 11:25 PM | Reply | Flag:

Poor FiFi.

Everyone gets raptured up but your loyal pooch is left to starve? How cruel.

Better leave her a good size bone to last her awhile.

No doggie heaven? What gives?

#4 | Posted by CalifChris at 2009-08-27 11:35 PM | Reply | Flag:

OMG, it's the perfect scam. I wish I had thought of it!

#5 | Posted by missesmerelda at 2009-08-27 11:43 PM | Reply | Flag:

A friend of ours was in a terrible car accident and was in a coma. They were going to pull the plug but he suddenly started inproving and he woke up.

He told me he saw his Dad who had been dead for about 25 years. Next to his Dad was his dog from when he was 12 yo.

He knew that this was heaven--or a good place--for the atheists here.

So dogs are in heaven.

#6 | Posted by MURPHY at 2009-08-27 11:44 PM | Reply | Flag:

I am not so sure about a 'rapture'.

The guy who invented it managed to get a lot of people to think this is how the end times will be.

Not so sure about that.

#7 | Posted by MURPHY at 2009-08-27 11:45 PM | Reply | Flag:

The guy who invented it managed to get a lot of people to think this is how the end times will be.

So if a guy can invent some concept like a "rapture" and have it take off, what's to say they can't invent a whole religion and have it get popular?

#8 | Posted by ZombieHunter at 2009-08-27 11:50 PM | Reply | Flag:

Missesmerelda --

OMG, it's the perfect scam. I wish I had thought of it!

No kidding!

From the article --

We currently cover the following states:

Maine,New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana ... and growing.

For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged friends.

I notice California wasn't named so CA is still wide open for offering to take in pets who were left behind when their owners were "raptured up" into Heaven. WHAT A GOLD MINE!!! Maybe I should apply for the California franchise before anyone else does. LOL

Only problem is they only want atheists to save the unraptured pets. So now what will I do?

#9 | Posted by CalifChris at 2009-08-27 11:52 PM | Reply | Flag:

So dogs are in heaven.

#6 | Posted by MURPHY at 2009-08-27 11:44 PM

I believe that too even though animals are not suppose to have souls.

John Edwards -- ever watch his show "Crossing Over"? When doing a reading for people on his show he often makes contact with their animals who have crossed to the "other side." He describes them and everything, even pets who have been deceased for years!

#10 | Posted by CalifChris at 2009-08-27 11:56 PM | Reply | Flag:

So dogs are in heaven.

And we are in theirs.

#11 | Posted by dxlingr at 2009-08-27 11:58 PM | Reply | Flag:

I used to watch that show years ago Chris.

Yes he did mention pets.

I believe it's possible that some people see things, like John Edwards...not to say I think he really has that gift but I believe some do.

I don't get into tarot cards or anything like that though.

#12 | Posted by Lisa at 2009-08-28 12:02 AM | Reply | Flag:

Only problem is they only want atheists to save the unraptured pets. So now what will I do?

Turn yourself into your local So CA SPCA kennel and hope you get adopted by a nice heterosexual Episcopalian male with an income on the high 6 figure side?

#13 | Posted by Gimme_a_Scotch at 2009-08-28 12:14 AM | Reply | Flag:

This nonsense gets posted every two months?
Let us review: All things are imbued with spirit. The degree of spirit varies, but the degree is obvious to any rational creature not educated by a positivist. Something without spirit is lower than space nebula dust.
QED: Your pet gerbils, dogs or cats have spirits. Those spirits are not called "souls" because only human spirits are called "souls." Too difficult?
I do not have a dog's spirit. I do not have a whale's spirit. Those spirits are not "souls," which are exclusively HUMAN spirits.
What is so difficult about this concept?

#14 | Posted by Diablo at 2009-08-28 12:17 AM | Reply | Flag:

Let us review: All things are imbued with spirit...

And also Thetans...
-Tom Cruise

Betcha Diablo can't prove Tom Cruise wrong.

#15 | Posted by ZombieHunter at 2009-08-28 12:25 AM | Reply | Flag:

Something without spirit is lower than space nebula dust.

You have an awfully low opinion of yourself.

#16 | Posted by ZombieHunter at 2009-08-28 12:27 AM | Reply | Flag:

#10 | Posted by CalifChris

I liked his show.

#17 | Posted by MURPHY at 2009-08-28 12:36 AM | Reply | Flag:

And, of course, the anti-religious have no offense or defense so they name call and wait for the next post rather than reason....but wait, they allegedly admire reason over all else....liars.

#18 | Posted by Diablo at 2009-08-28 12:38 AM | Reply | Flag:

So if a guy can invent some concept like a "rapture" and have it take off, what's to say they can't invent a whole religion and have it get popular?

#8 | Posted by ZombieHunter

There have been people who have done that exact thing.

Here is the background on rapture...

christianity.about.com

Not all Christian faiths believe in the rapture theory.

#19 | Posted by MURPHY at 2009-08-28 12:40 AM | Reply | Flag:

"Next to his Dad was his dog from when he was 12 yo."

Funny, but nobody ever reports seeing cats in heaven -- I guess they are all in Mouse Hell

#20 | Posted by vernon at 2009-08-28 12:57 AM | Reply | Flag:

Funny, but nobody ever reports seeing cats in heaven

It wouldn't be heaven with cats, it would be the deepest bowels of Hell!

#21 | Posted by Gimme_a_Scotch at 2009-08-28 01:00 AM | Reply | Flag:

I do not believe in the "rapture" Murphy. St Paul says those of us who are "left behind" will be taken up to meet Jesus. I do not know where the evangelicals get their take the "saved" will disappear and the damned remain as left behind. St. Paul clearly refutes that delusion.
But to head off the abusers: I believe what Jesus said without a hint of doubt. The moment is known only to the Father. That means all the kabbalah and Book of Revelations "code breaking" is actually anti-Christian.

#22 | Posted by Diablo at 2009-08-28 01:02 AM | Reply | Flag:

The rapture is bullshit.
For all of those weak minded Christians that believe in the rapture, you will be sorely disappointed when you are still here when the tribulations start.
God hates a coward.
True spirited Christians will be 100% in the fight against the evil one until the fight is over.

A hero only dies once, but a coward dies a thousand deaths.

#23 | Posted by JeffnDenmark at 2009-08-28 04:36 AM | Reply | Flag:

Scripture or Shakespeare, Jeff....pick one!

#24 | Posted by TheTom at 2009-08-28 06:07 AM | Reply | Flag:

Scripture or Shakespeare, Jeff....pick one!

Could be both. There is subtle evidence that Shakespeare translated the 46 Psalm in the King James version of the bible. Some scholars point to the psalms as being written in the same style that Shakespeare wrote. Also, it is believed he slipped his name into them. The 46th word of the 46th Psalm is the word "shake". Counting backwards from the end of the psalm 46 words is the word "spear".

Coincidence? Maybe. But it is known that Shakespeare was alive and an active writer during the time that the King James version of the bible was created.

#25 | Posted by goatman at 2009-08-28 06:14 AM | Reply | Flag:

murphy - do you believe He's coming back?

#26 | Posted by nanc at 2009-08-28 08:56 AM | Reply | Flag:

murphy - do you believe He's coming back?
#26 | Posted by nanc | Flag: He Didn't Wake Me Up To Say Goodbye, Leave A Note, Or Nuttin'

#27 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis at 2009-08-28 09:04 AM | Reply | Flag:

#19

If a "Christian" believes Jesus is who He said he is, believes He rose from the dead, believes He will come again, then how can they not believe in Rapture?

If one does not believe all that is fortold upon His return, are they really a follower of Christ to be truly called a Christian?

#28 | Posted by Lisa at 2009-08-28 09:14 AM | Reply | Flag:

This idea is genius. People love their pets and love their Rapture.

Much better than my Animal Whores idea - use marketing to convince people that their pets aren't happy unless they are getting laid and then run an animal prostitituion service - same species sex only...

Animal Whores would be taking advantage of people's craziness over their pets but there would be actual work involved. Eternal-Earth Bound Pets is pure profit.

#29 | Posted by Sully at 2009-08-28 09:44 AM | Reply | Flag:

"If a "Christian" believes Jesus is who He said he is, believes He rose from the dead, believes He will come again, then how can they not believe in Rapture?"

Because alot of this Rapture bullshit is not in the Bible. And alot of Christians don't believe that every story in the Bible was intended to be taken literally anyway. And alot of people believe that Christ's message was about how to live your life like a good person instead of sitting around waiting for the end of the world. Alot of the appeal of the Rapture is the exclusivity of it, and Christ was not a snob and didn't delight in the suffering of others even if they were sinners.

#30 | Posted by Sully at 2009-08-28 09:48 AM | Reply | Flag:

Sully:

Good response.

I would refute by saying that we shouldn't cherry pick what we do or do not believe from the Bible. However, that's ultimately their choice.

#31 | Posted by Lisa at 2009-08-28 09:57 AM | Reply | Flag:

Abrahamic religions, the same ones who brought you "animals don't have souls" and "they are here for us to eat," are sadly still being practiced.

What wonderfully, insightful views on life (and reality) they give us all.

Shocking how views of men who believed:
* the earth was flat
* women were less worthy than men
* it's OK to commit genocide
* it's OK to commit infanticide
* there's a group God loves more than any other
* certain real estate belongs to certain people
could still have such power/influence over modern-day individuals.

Shocking.
Rapture-smapture, although I do wish it were true, it could be 1/3 of the solution to a more peaceful world.

#32 | Posted by Sluggo at 2009-08-28 11:00 AM | Reply | Flag:

"I would refute by saying that we shouldn't cherry pick what we do or do not believe from the Bible. However, that's ultimately their choice."

But to a person who believes that the Bible was never intended to be taken literally, they are not cherry-picking. They just have their own interpretation as to what those stories are trying to teach us and it has nothing to do with thousand headed monsters.....

And again, alot of the Rapture stuff isn't even in the Bible.

#33 | Posted by Sully at 2009-08-28 11:28 AM | Reply | Flag:

"the same ones who brought you "animals don't have souls" and "they are here for us to eat," are sadly still being practiced."

Any atheist would believe animals don't have souls too. And anyone who knows about human evolution would know that we did evolve as meat eaters - not that this means that animals live for us to eat but you can't say that its immoral for us to do eat them when its a completely natural behavior.

#34 | Posted by Sully at 2009-08-28 11:32 AM | Reply | Flag:

"if ours are left behind, i'm hoping they fill up on libtards!"

wow .. i thought the story was funny but seeing someone who thinks they are righteous enough to be saved wishing there dog feast on there enemies is priceless. good luck with that!

#35 | Posted by 503jc69 at 2009-08-28 11:38 AM | Reply | Flag:

Also the rapture is a cop out. People can sit on there selfish ass and do nothing towards making the world a better place. We are all the care takers of the planet. And let the world go to hell, while telling themselves they will be out of here before hell sets in.
What a delusional cop out.

#36 | Posted by JeffnDenmark at 2009-08-28 01:32 PM | Reply | Flag:

My grandfather's red blue-tick hound was not just partaking of the spirit, he was an enlightened being of some kind.

#37 | Posted by grumpy_too at 2009-08-28 01:41 PM | Reply | Flag:

Yeah! And what about Ol'Yeller?

#38 | Posted by JeffnDenmark at 2009-08-28 01:55 PM | Reply | Flag:

I posed this a month ago, fyi.

My rapture-ready minded in-laws said that they wouldn't give their money to a non-Christian organization.

I said "You've got very little choices in where to shop then!"

Get an on-line Bible concordance and look up "rapture"...

#39 | Posted by kirk at 2009-08-28 01:55 PM | Reply | Flag:

if ours are left behind, i'm hoping they fill up on libtards!#3 | Posted by nanc at 2009-08-27 11:25 PM | Reply |

Bad day, nanc?
Usually it's the pagan Marxists here that advocate the death of US!
Perhaps we should act/say/blog like we want to be treated...jus' sayin'

#40 | Posted by kirk at 2009-08-28 01:58 PM | Reply | Flag:

So if a guy can invent some concept like a "rapture" and have it take off, what's to say they can't invent a whole religion and have it get popular?#8 | Posted by ZombieHunter at 2009-08-27 11:50 PM |

Right.
Just don't base your religion on something like a miracle, such as Jesus resurrected and seen by 500 eyewitnesses. It's nearly impossible to do, and if people aren't too stubbornly unrepentant and closed-minded and look into the evidence, they'll see the historical truth and think about the implications.

Shoot, look how many buy into Mormonism and Scientology with their historically indefensible religions.

Christianity rises or falls on the historical proof of the resurrection of Jesus.

#41 | Posted by kirk at 2009-08-28 02:04 PM | Reply | Flag:

If a "Christian" believes Jesus is who He said he is, believes He rose from the dead, believes He will come again, then how can they not believe in Rapture?If one does not believe all that is fortold upon His return, are they really a follower of Christ to be truly called a Christian?#28 | Posted by Lisa at 2009-08-28 09:14 AM | Reply |

There's plenty of dispute biblically as to whether Jesus' return will be before the tribulation, whether the dispensational interpretation of the "Left Behind" series is accurate...

#42 | Posted by kirk at 2009-08-28 02:18 PM | Reply | Flag:

OMG this is BRILLIANT!!!

"If a "Christian" believes Jesus is who He said he is, believes He rose from the dead, believes He will come again, then how can they not believe in Rapture?If one does not believe all that is fortold upon His return, are they really a follower of Christ to be truly called a Christian?#28 | Posted by Lisa at 2009-08-28 09:14 AM"

A Christian has to believe Jesus and His Words. But get a concordance and look up every mention of "rapture"...and ZERO mentions of it in Revelation. You'll have to look it up in Greek, as it's never translated into the English as "rapture."
There's plenty of dispute biblically as to whether Jesus' return will be before the tribulation, whether the dispensational interpretation of the "Left Behind" series is accurate...
#42 | Posted by kirk at 2009-08-28 02:18 PM

The problem is that cut'n'paste English translations are plentiful and even different from each other in many ways. Most, if not all Christians aren't interested in "the truth", but merely a sense of "security" at any cost, particularly if it's easily attained. Consider Christians for the death penalty. Damned antithetical to the teachings of Christ..

#43 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2009-08-28 02:58 PM | Reply | Flag:

Jesus; 'WHO LET ALL THESE FUCKING ANIMALS IN HERE'?

God; 'Now, son, remember your place'.

Jesus; 'Daaaa-aaaaaaaaad, look at all this. Who keeps a serpent as a pet?

God; 'It's not a serpent, it's a snake'.

Jesus; 'I'm sorry dad, it just pisses me off for my teachings to be so corrupted'.

God; (growing angry) 'you think you are mad, I've had to put up with your followers for millenia'.

Jesus; 'Forgive me father, I have sinned AGAIN'.

#44 | Posted by Lipzoidial at 2009-08-29 09:40 AM | Reply | Flag:

"Abrahamic religions, the same ones who brought you "animals don't have souls" and "they are here for us to eat," are sadly still being practiced."

Animals do not have souls, sluggo. It is okay to eat them, too.
Have a nice environmental fantasy life.

#45 | Posted by Diablo at 2009-08-29 12:07 PM | Reply | Flag:

Whatever, they charge, I'll do it for half.

#46 | Posted by silver_ironist at 2009-08-29 12:48 PM | Reply | Flag:

How'd that comma get in there?

#47 | Posted by silver_ironist at 2009-08-29 12:49 PM | Reply | Flag: