Spmething - - -> Something

apologies...

Does it have a centerfold for people who buy it only for the stories?

Angelina Jolie??
What next?
Traci Lords? Doing John Holmes???
When's Penthouse or Hustler having THEIR versions printed?

Martin Luther King Jr. graces one page, Angelina Jolie the next.

Frank33 1/3,

It's not porn. But, feel free to break out your crayons and create your own dirty bible.

When they come out with one that has Maria Menudos coming out of the water dripping wet after baptism I'm buying one.

Nevermind.

I hear that in this Bible Jesus turns water into gasoline! That is awesome!

You know it's too bad we can't make powdered gasoline. You know make it like powdered milk and then add water to it saving on fuel costs. Think about it. Buy 50 pound bags of powdered gasoline take it home mix it with H2O and put it into Your gas tanks and away You will go. Hell it would cut down on shipping costs as well.

Larry

Larry, I marked your comment as Newsworthy because I really think people should see it. That is some creative thinking!

AU -

Larry?

Is that really you?

One thing I do think would be a problem is the thickness of the water compared to the viscosity of regular gasoline. If You could somehow thin the water out while mixing the powdered gasoline it would burn better and reduce choking it out. I also think You would have to impregnate the powdered gasoline with some "Glue" so it would stick to the water molecules instead of running through it. It would work just have tofigure out how to dry gasoline into a powdered form. I would think nitrogen freezing would be best instead of heating it. You heat it You're liable to catch the plant on fire.

Larry

So will the NIV version come to mean the Nubile Interracial Version? Catch all the action... starring Lex Steele as the serpent and Mandingo as 'Thy Rod and Staff.'

I'm still bitter at the fact they retouched all the scenes in tomb raider to edit her nips. Might have made the movie bearable.

#12 | Posted by LarryMohr at 2008-10-08 01:41 PM

You do that kind of stuff on purpose. It's actually kinda sad and really easy to see through.

You know Tap Water is heier water than say bottled water right?? So what if say You install a fitration system and then oxygenate the water before You mix it with Your powdered gasoline. That way the water is light and more able to bind itself to the PG molecules. Bet that would work then.

Larry

Heavier^

born of a virgin...

I can see it now..

"Wait! ...this isn't Elle magazine!!"

I have one word for you...

Gia

That was for you PANCH...

Gia

How about a Centerfold IN the Bible.

Ms. Deuteronomy

Turn offs - Floods, Locust

Turn ons - Mir

"Chicks dig Mir"

-BH

'How about a Centerfold IN the Bible.

Ms. Deuteronomy'

Posted by Manypaths

Next month: The whores of Babylon.

Who cares?

I seem to remember all of the bibles having Jesus with long red hair and a beard. Those were interpretations just like these are ad are not original to the book so who cares if more modern images are now used? As long as the message it still the same.

*ad = and

Ah, the American Idol Version of the Bible. The ultimate in dumbing down ancient texts.

Should be a big seller.

A new edition of the Bible, Bible Illuminated: The Book, is designed like a glossy fashion magazine and includes a picture of Angelina Jolie.

On another note this whole thing reminds me of the movie Hamlet 2. This washed up actor/drama teacher is writing a musical play (Hamlet 2) and one of the scenes is a song called "Rock me sexy Jesus". It's basically all about how if Jesus were to come back today he'd have to market himself like a pop star to garner any attention. The movie is hilarious. So with this new "fashion" bible is it life imitating art?

Larry, I marked your comment as Newsworthy because I really think people should see it. That is some creative thinking!

#9 | Posted by member2586 at 2008-10-08 01:19 PM | Reply

I marked your post as funny because there is no tag for 'idiotic'

The chemistry doesn't work this way

Larry assumes that all liquid is water-based. Like the Kool-Aide he drinks.

That said, the Bible is God's Word, and in each generation it is retranslated for a different generation.

some assclowns (like Baptists) seem to think that Jesus spoke in Old English, and so they only use the deeply flawed King James Bible.

Moses spoke in the language of his time. As did Joshua, Isahiah, Michah, Jesus, Paul.

God's Word is supposed to be traslated into a form that people can understand, in their language and culture

Larry assumes that all liquid is water-based. Like the Kool-Aide he drinks.

Posted by vernon at 2008-10-09 09:58 AM | Reply

Where did the liquid come from that makes oil liquid except water. If Petrolium based products started out as plant and animal material millions of years ago then they HAD to be because of water. Sorry You can not see this.

Larry

From wikipedia:

"The bulk of a typical gasoline consists of hydrocarbons with between 5 and 12 carbon atoms per molecule."

So given my understanding of chemistry (admittedly not PHD level), "dehydrated" gasoline isn't feasible since there are almost no H2O molecules in there to begin with.

Hey, let Larry experiment.

Go distill some gasoline Larry and let us know how it works out for you. The bigger the flame the better I think......

Larry, silly, Larry!

Everyone knows that oil and water do not mix.

God's Word is supposed to be traslated into a form that people can understand, in their language and culture

#30 | Posted by vernon at 2008-10-09 10:04 AM

And every time these documents are translated a little more of the original meanings are lost.

and BTW it is not "God's Word".

It is Man's word.

"a form that people can understand"

-And every time these documents are translated a little more of the original meanings are lost.

No, as we discover better sources of older texts, most translations only get better.

No, as we discover better sources of older texts, most translations only get better.

#37 | Posted by Corky at 2008-10-09 12:55 PM

No...

Many people have a vague notion that all the original biblical texts are preserved in vaults somewhere, and translators work from those original texts. Unfortunately, that isn't the case. The earliest surviving versions of the gospels are handwritten copies dating from centuries after the original texts were written. Also, we don't just have a single version of each gospel; we have many versions, and even more fragments. The trouble is, none of the versions agree with each other.

-Misquoting Jesus

Thanks X, wasn't aware of that movie.

Getting an accurate "Original" is a bit more complicated than most folks realize.

As Ehrman puts it, there are more points of disagreement between manuscripts than there are words in the Gospels. So which one is right? How can one tell what the original authors intended?

One way is to try and establish which manuscript is the earliest, and call it closest to the author's intent. However, it may not be. Ehrman describes how the earliest copies of Christian texts were done by everyday folks, many of whom were barely literate; it is thus among the earliest copies that the greatest disagreements are found. In later times, professional scribes did most of the copying, resulting in fewer inter-copy disagreements. Also, we may have a document from the fourth century and one from the eighth; but the latter might have been copied from a second-century document, making it closer to the original. In general, though, if most early manuscripts have a given wording and later versions have another, scholars assume the early version is correct.

it is thus among the earliest copies that the greatest disagreements are found.

So getting an "older" text will not necessarily make your current translation any better.

Donnerboy Silly Donnerboy.

Then Pray Tellwhat makes crude oil liquid for not a liquid device. If Crude Oil is made from Millions of Years of Plant and animal material then what turned it into liquid form without water as a basic component of all living plant and animal matter??

Larry

Oh and what is the Hydro refering to in Hydrocarbons. Isn't that Hydrogen?? if so Water has Hydrogen molecules in it.

Larry

Larry:

Gasoline is liquid because it's freezing point (the point at which it would become solid) is 97 degrees below zero (F). It doesn't have anything to do with water content.

if so Water has Hydrogen molecules in it.

Larry

#42 | Posted by LarryMohr at 2008-10-09 01:28 PM

Larry, I can only suggest you go back to chemistry class to get a deeper understanding.

There is no water in Oil. Just because something is "liquid" does not mean it contains water.

Oil is Hydrogen and Carbon. No oxygen molecules hence no "water".

Oil molecules are not "like" water molecules which is why they don't mix. "Like dissolves like."

You cannot extract water from Oil because there is no "water" in there!

sorry that is the best I can do for you...I am not a chemistry major but the info is out there in the Internets!

The Hulkster is coming out with his own version of the Bible. It's going to be called "The Holy Smackdown." The final book will feature how Jesus will put Satan into a half-Nelson, followed by a piledriver off the top ropes.

HULKAMANIA FOREVER

ps Don't blow yerself up!

Ah fuck.......

Way to get in the way of my fun for the day.

How's that distilling of gasoline coming along Larry?

DonnerB