There's something really sexy about a woman with glasses getting a facial.

HEFNER'S CRUMBLING HAREM

She is rather sexy. Let's just say I would not kick her out of my bed for eating crackers..

...Even if "crackers" was my dog!

"I want to see Obama's hot sexy bod on PlayGirl. But I am not gay." -- Senator Larry Craig

And not so much as a wisper from National Geographic, eh Michelle?

#6 | Posted by wisgod

WOW wisgod...Racist AND trashy..congrats!

"There's something about a really sexy-looking woman wearing glasses." Well, Hef, the girl who broke my heart in the eleventh grade was cute and wore glasses, but like Sarah, she had other - er - shortcomings that would have hurt her chances for bunny stardom. herm

WOW wisgod...Racist AND trashy..congrats!

#7 | Posted by geezer1

Say's you? I really find it no worse than your Palin comments.

Palin would be one hell of a centerfold. She has a sexyness about her, sort of the milf thing...

Sort of?

Boaz,

What makes MILF's so damn hot is that their hotness is a product of hard-work. Birthing a child fucks-up a woman's body and the recovery isn't quick. It's not that difficult for a 22-year old chick to have a hot body, but a 38-year old hottie only maintains that through hard work. Plus, women peak sexually much later than men, around the age of 40, or so. I think a hot 40-year old is 'hotter' than a hot 20-year old.

"...but like Sarah, she had other - er - shortcomings that would have hurt her chances for bunny stardom. herm"

I'm almost afraid to ask, HERM. But what were those shortcomings?

She may be considered 'hot' in Alaska, but she's about a 5 on a scale of 1-10. Careful tailoring of her clothes hides a body I doubt will be considered 'hot' should she ever pose for Playboy.

After this election is done that may be the only avenue she has left for future public exposure. Alaskans are very upset at the McCain camp's takeover of the governor's office.

AU,

Don't be a partisan hack.

Have you seen the pic of her wearing a short mini-skirt and a low-cut silk blouse?

She jogs 3-7 miles per day and was a star-athlete in her youth.

It's OK - you can acknowledge that she has a fantastic body as her physical attributes are zero-reflection on her ability to be #2.

Let's keep it real, OK?

She jogs 3-7 miles per day

She has to be in shape in order to elude the witch doctors and heebs.

She has to be in shape in order to elude the witch doctors and heebs.

#16 | Posted by reinheitsgebot

Precisely! But AU insinuates that her ankles are fatter than Hillary's!

Precisely! But AU insinuates that her ankles are fatter than Hillary's!

#17 | Posted by JeffJ

When you start taking AU's advice on women, you might as well change your last name to Aiken.

If I were married to Palin I'd bone her till I was dehydrated. Very few "real" women that age look like that after a handful of kids. Trust me.

WIS-
Then I take it you aren't a Clay-Mates. His coming out is about as surprising as learning McCain is on Viagra.

Here, here Oohrah. She'd make my mustache jealous.

Ah, the old flavor savor, eh?

Ah, the old flavor savor, eh?

#22 | Posted by OohRah

Rides are free for Sarah.

Sincerely, Wisgod's stash.

Many years ago I had a moustache. This may be a bit on the gross side, but in college I occasionally woke up with a rather distinct and unappealing scent on the stash... a result of diving into areas where only drunken fools tread.

Oohrah, there is nothing wrong with that. Clay will never have that experience.

"I'm almost afraid to ask, HERM. But what were those shortcomings?"

Ooey, as best I can explain to you, when Sarah and Pam Anderson had their - er - words, it struck me that Sarah would never get a role in "Baywatch." Does that clarify anything? herm

I was gonna say Pam and Sarah's tit-a-tit, but what the hell? herm

JEFFJ

Palin's ankles aren't so fat, but I doubt that what's under those clothes looks so good without them.

Hey can we use Her centerfold's as a rodent deterant?? I don't think She is all that and a bag of doritoes but that is just Me.

Larry

LARRY

She's not butt ugly, but not hot by my definition.

Say, Larry, glad to hear you're on the right path with your weight loss plan. Just remember, it's "Progress not Perfection", "Slowly but Surely", etc. Keep it up a day at a time and don't get discouraged. Nanc's suggestions about foods you can eat a lot of and not gain weight were good, too.....

Thanks AU it was getting pretty bad especially when I woke up and had to rub my legs just to wake them up. It's rough going but it's going.

Larry

I wouldn't kick her out of bed. I think good sex is a non-partisian thing. I've fucked from one end of the political spectrum to the other and I can't honestly say one side of it is better or worse than the other.

Larry, I also find when my britches start getting tight, I lay off all fried foods and all starches and they start slowly but surely loosening up. It's not fast -- 2 or 3 lbs a month, but it is a sure thing for me at least. It also helps me control my diabetes.

Have you had any diabetic related problems from being overweight?

Cool, Larry.

I told you before about someone I know that lost over 200 lbs. Took a little over a year, but he's kept it off by just continuing the same healthy eating habits and simple exercise like walking.

It's only going to be rough until the new healthy habits you acquire in eating and exercise become more and more a part of your daily life. Search around the 'net for ideas about new foods you can add to your NEW eating habits. Nutritious and not heavy in calories. Try new things.

One of my favorite foods (this may not be your cup of tea) is lightly steamed brocolli with Italian salad dressing on it, as an example. REALLY good for you.

Dieting in and of itself is a bad idea. Just change what you eat and exercise and your body will take care of the rest...over time. Go back and read Nanc's suggestions. They're good ones. There are a lot of foods you can eat as much as you'd like and not gain an ounce. Plus, you get nutrition. Empty calories are just a waste of bodily function, taxing the system.

Hang in there bro! I know you can do it

Yep Yep Yep I am a Type2 Diabetic. unfortunately. Oh and I never worried about when the britches got too tight. I just went out and bought overalls instead. But when Your legs stop working right well You can't go buy a new pair of legs so I was screwed. Know what I mean??

Larry

GOATMAN

You mentioned starch....

I don't have an extra ounce on me when I don't eat bread. It seems like every crumb goes right to the waist. I don't get that one.... LOL

LARRY

One other REALLY valuable suggestion I could give you is to drink a couple of glasses of water 5 or 10 minutes before you eat anything.

It takes the brain at least 10 minutes to send you the signal "you're full". That's where a lot of people end up overeating. They eat too fast and by the time they feel 'full' they're too full.

Do you take insulin or any oral medication like Glucophage or Glucotrol for the diabetes? Do you know what your hemoglobin A(1)c reading is?

Oh I love broccoli, I usually buy the frozen kind and put it between the thighs to warm it up and then eat it. Same with brussel sprouts. I stick 3 or 4 in the mouth and let them thaw and then eat em. Good stuff.

Larry

Larry I lost 25lbs by eating dinner at the china buffet every day for a year.

Larry I lost 25lbs by eating dinner at the china buffet every day for a year.

Really? They fry so much and all those sweet based sauces make that a surprising diet, but that's good it works!

One other REALLY valuable suggestion...

And another is to eat slowly and do nothing else while eating like watching TV or reading. You tend to eat more if you combine other activities with it, I've heard. You are distracted and unaware of how much you are eating, I guess.

GOATMAN

I know you've been to Europe as I have. You're right about not mixing eating with other activities and eating slower.

Eating with friends in Europe is a 2 hour affair. That's the secret to much, much less obesity there.

They walk a lot more too. That helps with keeping metabolism rates up too.

"Larry I lost 25lbs by eating dinner at the china buffet every day for a year."

As if that had anything to do with it. Yawn.

And not so much as a wisper from National Geographic, eh Michelle?

#6 | Posted by wisgod at 2008-09-25 04:50 PM | Reply | Flag:

But you're not racist, oh no. Idiot.

AU: It takes me at least 30 minutes to finish a meal, usually more. When I first got to this rig, everyone commented on how much I ate, judging by the time. But then I told them to look at what I ate and they realized that I just eat very, very slowly.

I don't think it is because of desire to lose weight, but when we were young, our mother made us eat slowly. In fact for a while she was on this kick that we had to chew each mouthful 18 times or some other arbitrary number! But the habit stuck.

It really sucked in boot camp because we had only ten minutes to eat and I did not know how to eat fast.

I've just started walking for exercise. Serious walking and want to work up to 4 miles a day. Lots of people walk in my neighborhood so I decided to get out there too. There's a large park a couple blocks away where it's not too hilly. I just grab my little portable radio and away I go.

Swimming is terrific exercise but I don't have a pool. I'd sure like to get one of those "endless pools" one day. They don't take up a lot of room and you just swim in place and it has a current pushing against you as you swim.

Here's a sample --

It takes me at least 30 minutes to finish a meal, usually more.

Good habit your Mom got you into doing.

Those were the days when kids and their parents actually sat at the table with the entire family at dinner time. I had to do that too growing up. Today it seems families all eat on the run and everyone eats at different times.

Funny how parents always had different stuff they made you do when they got you sitting at the table. Your Mom made you chew 18 times per bite. My Dad -- always the grammar guy -- made us learn one new word every night at dinner. Of course as a little kid I thought it was dumb but didn't have much of a choice in the matter as he would quiz you on the word the next night. Besides, we were a trapped audience at the dinner table. lol. Today I'm glad he did it though.

made us learn one new word every night at dinner

We had to do that, too! But I can probably thank that, and the fact that my mother taught me to read when I was 4 YO for my love of reading today.

My parents actually moved to the other side of town to get me out of my second grade class because the teacher complained that I "read too much".

Looking back, I think the best thing my parents taught me -- the best gift they ever gave me -- was appreciation for the written word.

CHRIS

We did the same family dinner thing.

Funny story:

Years after my sister and I moved out and were on our own, dad bought a new table for the dinette where we ate daily meals (as opposed to the dining room for infrequent more formal dinners like Thanksgiving).

The old table was formica on metal legs that were hollow. When he turned it upside down to take the legs off so he could move it easier 10,000 dehydrated peas fell out of the hollow legs.

My sister hated peas, and had evidently put all her peas in those hollow legs for many years. She was even smart enough as a kid to turn the square table a quarter turn now and then to be sure she'd have room to dump her peas when no one was looking.

GOAT and CHRIS

We didn't have a new word to learn during dinner, but my dad was a crossword nut, and I took to it. Our dictionary and thesaurus were frayed to the point we had to buy a new ones every couple of years.

I also thank my mom for her work before and after entering kindergarten with flash cards of first the alphabet and then words for my love of reading. It was so helpful to not feel stupid in school although it was a tad boring as mom had already taught me what I was learning at least a year ahead of my class.

I loved reading so much I rarely fell asleep before the wee hours of the morning - reading a book under the covers with a flashlight. Mom always had a really hard time waking me up in the morning.

LOL

The old table was formica on metal legs that were hollow. When he turned it upside down to take the legs off so he could move it easier 10,000 dehydrated peas fell out of the hollow legs.

You told me that story when I saw you in Nashville in January, but the visual still has me laughing out loud.

Public TV in Dallas was KERA, channel 13. At 6:00 AM they had a program called "Operation Lift" (funny I still remember the name) which was a reading class for illiterate adults. When I was 4 YO, my mother sent off for the books and got me up at 6:00 AM every morning to do the lessons on TV. She helped me, of course.

The day I entered 1st grade, they tested my reading level and I was reading at a 4th grade level then. The teacher used to have me help the other students read "Dick and Jane and Spot". As I said upthread, reading has stuck with me since.

GOAT

The best part of that story is that dad swept up and then vacuumed the entire dinette area so mom would never know Bev didn't like her peas.

My mom was fond of putting hot milk and pepper on them. Yuck! I forced them down, but Bev never clued me into her little secret way of disposing of them, and I never saw her stealthy disposal of them either.

I remember her saying more than a few times when mom asked how the peas were, "Oh, they were delicious". That little bugger!! I'll bet mom and dad know now that she's told them..... At least in Heaven there shouldn't be any repercussions. LOL

My mom was fond of putting hot milk and pepper on them.

My mom did a similiar thing with peas, but it was more of a white sauce. (basically hot milk thickened with flour) Sometimes she put new potatoes or pearl onions in it.

A white sauce I could have handled.

My mom was not the best cook. They were always healthy meals, but she only used two seasonings on anything: Salt and pepper. The other funny thing about her cooking was that you could tell which day of the week it was by what was on the table for dinner.

If it was chicken, you knew it was Wednesday, etc.

Sundays coming home from church was never a pleasant ride for me. As hungry as I was I knew I'd be coming home to boiled dry potatoes and overcooked chuck roast. EVERY Sunday. Mom always bought the cut with the 'marbled' texture. I HATE fatty meat to this day. In fact, I eat red meat quite rarely - probably because of her cooking. But, as I mentioned above, she cooked balanced, healthy meals even if they weren't always so tasty.

LOL

I was extremely lucky, I guess. Both my parents were excellent cooks. In fact pretty much everyone in my family and extended family are. My mom was more of a basic meat, potatoes, vegetables, casseroles, type cook, but they were great. My dad was very exotic. He would cook curries and greek dishes and French sauces and fancy desserts. He still does to this day AAMOF. It's always a treat to sit at his table.

My mom was more of a basic meat, potatoes, vegetables, casseroles, type cook, but they were great.

My mom was too. They weren't all terrible. In fact, most were pretty good. It was just those iffy moves like hot milk and pepper on peas that turned my stomach sideways. Same 'sauce' on asparagus. It took me 20 years to finally eat asparagus after I grew up. LOL

Cool about your dad. My dad was way too 'meat and potatoes' to get into exotic food. I used to take them out to eat when I'd visit home from out of state. I think we ate at a couple of Chinese and a couple of Mexican restaurants. After those 'exotic' outings they were more interested in eating steak. I think it had to do with their growing up during The Great Depression. Steak was the epitome of good food in their eyes.

Enjoyed talking with ya, GOAT. Brought back a lot of good memories and reminded me to be grateful for what I had as a kid.

Enjoyed talking with ya, GOAT.

Likewise. See you when I get back

As a kid my situation was a bit different. I was a very slow eater (and still am today). My parents used to set the timer on the stove to something like 30 minutes and I had to finish my plate by then.

I could "buy" more time by getting another helping of something I liked.

"Hugh Hefner's sham-like world is falling apart.."

He's a very old man banging beautiful young women. Do you think he doesn't know that all parties are using each other? Of course they are eventually going to leave him. He can always find more gold diggers.

Goatman.
From a playboy bunny to one of your mom's home recipes?
Your Freudian slip is showing!

AU

The old table was formica on metal legs that were hollow. When he turned it upside down to take the legs off so he could move it easier 10,000 dehydrated peas fell out of the hollow legs...

I love that story every time I hear it.

I know you must miss Bev so much. I'm sure she's at peace now, though, after all the suffering she went through. So at least that's one small thing you can find comfort in.

...Looking back, I think the best thing my parents taught me -- the best gift they ever gave me -- was appreciation for the written word.

#48 | Posted by goatman

That's a very sweet thing to say.

I don't know if you ever had the chance to tell that to your Mom when she was alive, but I think your Dad would be very pleased to hear those words from you today, if you haven't told him already. Too often we think those kind of thoughts but never get around to actually verbalizing them to our parents. Don't wait until too much time has passed and one day you'll no longer have the chance to tell him. It would probably mean more to him than you know. imho

I come back to see if there's anything new and salacious about Sarah and I find a discussion of asparagus, which it took someone 20 years to get to like. My folks forced me to eat the stuff seven decades ago and I STILL retch at the odor. herm

My Mom died in 2000 and my Wife passed away this April.

When I get to feeling down I make one of their favorite dishes for dinner. It helps bring back the good memories.

Mom: Goulash. Pretty basic and people either love it or hate it. Ground hamburger and onion with canned tomatos, garlic and a bay leaf. Simmer and mix with elbow macaroni

My Wife: Fresh Antipasta salad. Rolled up cheeze some pastrami and a mix of whatever sald greens and toppings you like. She always used balsamic vinegar and oil as the dressing

What memories.

I dont understand picky eaters. How can someone NOT like Brocolli for example?

I have yet to find a food that I do not like.

Sure some are more appealing than others but cmon, food is food.

... "and I find a discussion of asparagus, which it took someone 20 years to get to like." - HERM

I'm with you on that, but I have a simpler rule. I don't eat what I can't spell. Who knew dyslexia could be suhc a graet from of deiting?

**** Hefner Has Playboy Offer For Palin *****

......too bad she's already booked on Dancing With the Stars.......

2112

I'm very sorry to hear about your wife.

Prayers and condolences.

Hefner is a creepy old pervert.
The women in his magazine are tramps who have no self-esteem.

They may look appealing on the outside, but inside they are lacking "better judgement."

No self respect.
Sad.

Still looks like a man in drag.

***** The women in his magazine are tramps who have no self-esteem.
They may look appealing on the outside, but inside they are lacking "better judgement."

....... Posted by BobOtto *******

.......so there is a career out there waiting for Bristol........