Wow, this article is really crap... full of unsupported generalizations and assumptions. -- Meditato
Yep, just like most discussions of marriage and women on the DR. The prevailing view on the Minnie Driver thread was that she was a selfish bitch for not doing whatever it took to keep the man in her child's life -- despite the fact that there was absolutely no information in the article about what the man wanted! Here was a woman saying "I'm pregnant, you're the father, but I'm asking nothing from you because I have enough money and enough family support to do this myself," and the knuckledraggers on the DR are pissed about that!
The irony didn't stop there, though. The same posters who frame marriage in terms of a financial arrangement (sex and housework for $$) and complain that women either demand too much money or withhold sex they're being paid for were leading the hate-fest against Driver, who was, in their terms, giving it away for free. (--presumably because however uncertain their future together might be, she just plain likes being with the guy. Gosh, what a crazy basis for a relationship, eh?)
Even more fascinating: you'd think someone among the traditional types would suggest the man should stand up and "take responsibility" for his fatherhood, but no one did. Mind you, I wouldn't make this argument -- what they do is between them, and I'm not sold on the "two parents at all costs" argument. Driver not only hasn't criticized the guy for not taking a more active role, she has honored his desire for privacy.
My comment on that thread was half-facetious -- intentional parody of the "if a man is unhappy, it's the woman's fault" comments that have been so prevalent on the Driver thread, on the recent thread about couples' sharing housework duties, and on the thread a few months ago in which many agreed with Dr. Laura's argument that it's a woman's fault if her husband cheats on her.
But only half-facetious. As more women gain financial independence, I do wonder about those of you who think marriage is purely a sex-and-housework-for-money transaction.
The most important thing this article ignores, though, is that Marriage is a two way street. None of this men-are-supposed-to-do-this and women-are-supposed-to-do-that bullshit as any place in such a union. -- Meditato
Thanks, M. I get really depressed by the DR sometimes -- you'd think a liberal blog would have more diverse perspectives on women and relationships. I have to take long breaks from the DR (and spend more time with friends who do treat each other respectfully) to remind myself that the real world is a much better place.
