what a sellout!

A ginormous chimpanzee escaped from his sweltering cage at a Japanese zoo, disarmed the zookeeper who tried to shoot him with a tranquizer rifle, and stole the gun. He subsequently sold his freedom for a banana...

..and eventually went on to Harvard, where he learned to distort the truth to multitudes of brainwashed idiots, thus becoming the Democratic Party nominee for 2008.

...and your next president.

I rather expected this story to be about our current president.

Our current president is too drunk or too stupid to steal a gun. That's why he keeps Dick Cheney around.

I was kind of disappointed old Ichiro didn't blast the zookeeper with that tranquilizer-loaded shooting iron. There's nothing like a dose of large animal tranq to ruin your day. Take my word for it.

Probably the best story ever posted on the Drudge. And it only took 2 posts for some idiot to make it political. Amazing!

In case any of you have not had the pleasure...

And let us not forget the Nairobi Trio . . .

Chimps are badass. You definitely don't want to screw around with one of those dudes. Given how smart they are, I'm surprised they don't really hurt the people who imprison them more often.

They probably pick the locks on the cages at night, make their way to the zookeepers' neighborhoods, and make creepy noises outside the bedroom windows before reentering their cages around sunup.

"A ginormous chimpanzee escaped from his sweltering cage at a Japanese zoo, disarmed the zookeeper who tried to shoot him with a tranquizer rifle, and stole the gun. He subsequently sold his freedom for a banana."

A brilliant analogy of the american citizen...

OK Shawn, help me out...

The zookeeper is a local policeman, the banana is a welfare check/benefit card, the sweltering cage is either prison or a bodega, but who is the ginormous chimp...

It's a good thing it didn't happen here....the NRA would be all over it, trying to get them their own gun rights-and increase the base of the rethuglicunt party.

If you want to be a disingenuous imbecile, i won't waste time with you...

"A brilliant analogy of the american citizen..."

Really? I was thinking more eastern Europe. Zookeeper being the Soviets. And banana being EU membership.

So you're not going to explain the brilliant analogy of the american citizen?

"If you want to be a disingenuous imbecile, i won't waste time with you...'

As if generically criticizing "americans" is evidence of deep thought.........

"So you're not going to explain the brilliant analogy of the american citizen?"

You're just supposed to think he's deep because he said something bad about Americans.

You disingenuous imbecile.

Yup. Hit the mark dead on. Now i'm done with you.

WHA WHA WHA WHAT!?!

Obama stole McCains gun?!

Unbelievable!

"Yup. Hit the mark dead on."

It isn't that hard to figure out your dime a dozen routine.

Yup. Hit the mark dead on. Now i'm done with you.

Posted by Shawn at 2008-07-24 02:12 PM | Reply

Done with me? Who cares about me! It's all of the other posters that are dying to hear your fascinating explanation that I'm concerned about!
I'm sure they're going to be disappointed that you aren't going to explain that perfect analogy...

I heard shortly after this happened a truckload of bananas was hijacked by some hairy guy with a gun.

corny joke *wince*

And amazingly went on to win the 2000 presidentail race

sorry, I thought this was about Bush.
bye!

sorry, I thought this was about Bush.

HAHAHA Onna! I'll bet you spent all day thinking up this retort. Good job!

It is definitely in the running for the retort of the century (along with the other 7,288,472,691 chimp references on the DR)

And it only took 2 posts for some idiot to make it political. Amazing!

Posted by dfiant

not just SOME idiot, but the DR's own #1 idiot, Cookfish, whose retarded one-liners only serve to prove his single digit IQ.

Bush stole Cheney's gun?
Scary.

Bush stole Cheney's gun?
Scary.

Make that 7,288,472,692

sorry, I thought this was about Bush.

HAHAHA Onna! I'll bet you spent all day thinking up this retort. Good job!

It is definitely in the running for the retort of the century (along with the other 7,288,472,691 chimp references on the DR)

Posted by goatman

If the shoe fits, goatman, if the shoe fits.

..and eventually went on to Harvard, where he learned to distort the truth to multitudes of brainwashed idiots, thus becoming the Democratic Party nominee for 2008.

Posted by cookfish at 2008-07-24 10:58 AM

you are of course, a racist piece of shit. Can anything be any more obvious?

Anyway, if he'd gone to Yale... he would have been the second chimp on the alumni list.

If the shoe fits, goatman, if the shoe fits.

And it does -- just like the reason the chicken crossed the road. And like the chicken joke, the chimp joke just fails to gain humor.

I guess he wasn't monkeying around...