Arizona Senator and apparent Republican presidential nominee John McCain has been riding his so-called Straight Talk Express' for some time now, carting his frail, aging carcass about the countryside as he smilingly promises Americans four more years of misery. Yet his happy train was derailed this week, when he lapsed into fairy tales that no toddler would accept. Surely, after this speech, any child would long for the realism of Cinderella or Harry Potter. The following are some of the more noteworthy excerpts from Mr. McCain's happily ever after' view of the conclusion of his first potential administration.