Satan's plan to make uptight straight people "really uncomfortable" working out "fabulously," say Bay Area gays.
We are all going to die. Very, very soon. Did you know?
Apparently, the signs are all in place and the plague is clearly nigh and Armageddon is fast upon us because, oh my angry heterosexual god, the announcement has now been handed down: Couples who deeply love one another may now get married in California. It's true.
Wait, there's more. The couple in question might both have penises. Or they both might not. This is the crazy, terrifying new thing: It is totally up to them. Can you imagine?
