"The Iraq War has been won": "Iraq is a functioning democracy"; "al Qaeda in Iraq has been defeated"; Osama bin Laden has been captured or killed; there's been no major terrorist attack in the U.S.; Iran and North Korea have renounced nuclear weapons; "the size of the Army and Marine Corps has been significantly increased and are now better equipped"; there's been "a substantial increase" in veterans' benefits; the genocide in Darfur has been stopped; "the United States has experienced several years of robust economic growth, and Americans again have confidence in their economic future"; "the world food crisis has ended"; "test scores and graduation rates are rising everywhere in the country"; "health care has become more accessible"; Medicare and Social Security have been fixed "without reducing benefits" or "increasing taxes and raising premiums"; America is "well on the way to independence from foreign sources of oil"; "our southern border is now secure" and "illegal immigration has been finally brought under control." And, oh yeah, there are a lot fewer fat kids trudging their way through PE class.

"But when all you've got is lemonade . . ."
Huh?
Why, make a lemon, of course!
Over and out,
John "No I'm Not Crazy, It's Just The Way I Act" McCain


PS: Mr. Christian, somebody better 'fess up and tell me what happened to the goddamn strawberries or there's gonna be a court of inquiry!

The chances of John McCain being alive or in a mentally stable state in 2013 are extremely remote.
But don't tell him.

World will end in 2012, so clearly he's delusional.

Flash this bastard the Queen of Hearts and see what happens.

The absolutely best thing about this speech was that it caused Rush Limbaugh to stick pins in his own eyes.

And they say Obama is naive and the one pedaling false hope. Some have called Obama "the magic Negro." McCain seems to be running on a platform of the magic war hero. Clark Kent transformed into Superman. John McCain transforms into Super President. Elect John McCain and it will be the best of all possible worlds!