I'll get this one out of the way:

He's probably a Republican.

It will not be necessary for you to apply to the Darwin Award Committee as you have demonstrated that you are over qualified and can have two awards if you want.

Signed-The Darwin Award Committee

Well, he may not be a Republican, but he's certainly a Texan.

1. It could have been worse, he couls have been scratching his balls.

2. How long until he sues the gun manufacturer?

3. Next year the winner of the wacky warming label will be: "Warming, do not use this gun to scratch your back or any body part as it could produce an accidental discharge which might be harmful to your person or nay other third party nearby."

If you shoot yourself while scratching yourself with a gun, you might be a redneck...hell, forget the "might be"...

Next year the winner of the wacky warming label will be: "Warming, do not use this gun to scratch your back or any body part as it could produce an accidental discharge which might be harmful to your person or nay other third party nearby."


LOL

Sad, but true.



rwd

Don't you mean "harnful," rwd?

Before I even read this article, I knew the guy would be from Texas.

NostramOntecOre

1. It could have been worse, he couls have been scratching his balls.
MEMBER2586

Not really.
Do you really want people like this adding to the gene pool?

It's Texas. The damage has been done.

"Man Shoots Self Scratching Back With Gun"

YEAH!

Like Who Hasn't!

--- The NRA

He told officers he had an itch on his back and grabbed the first thing he could get a hold of, which was a revolver," Lt. Dean said. "The gun went off."

He grabbed the first thing he could get a hold of nearby to scratch his itch and it was a gun?
No pen nearby, magazine to roll up, no clothes hanger handy, just a gun? Err, how many guns does this guy have just lying around handy anyway.

This is why I am in favor of the individual right to bear arms. I stand with the NRA on this. These dumbasses shoot themselves more often than anything else. This guys problem is that his gun was too small.

Now this is the kind of news we want to see! Actually, I think shooting yourself in the back takes a bit of talent. Heck, anyone can shoot themselves in the foot, this guy is special.

"this guy is special."


also clingy and bitter....?

Ha!

At least the queers and muslems didn't get him!

"
It will not be necessary for you to apply to the Darwin Award Committee as you have demonstrated that you are over qualified and can have two awards if you want.

Signed-The Darwin Award Committee

Posted by keith204 at 2008-05-14 03:50 PM | Reply |
"

To even be considered for a Darwin award you have to remove yourself from the breeding pool. Like if he'd blown his testicles off. That's why it's called the DARWIN awards.

You may wish to consider getting a clue. The Hardly boys recommend them highly.

Despite being a "leftie", i read this article and think: if we're going to allow guns in our society, we better teach people how to use and respect them.

I hope this idiot is ok.

This story is really funny and the fact that it fits the lib template is really interesting: Texans are all stupid hick republicans.

Actually, statistics show that Texans have the highest IQ average of all the states.

Also, George Bush who seems stupid to libs actually had better grades than Gore or Kerry. Gore fluked out of college.

Texas Mensa Thom

last time I checked 39th was not top!!!

Posted by Silence at 2008-05-15 09:48 AM | Reply


I believe this guy. If there's one thing he knows about, it's "not being the top".

Texas will move up 4 spots on the list and so will Oklahoma when BL2 moves to Tulsa.

Silence...amigo...do you have any clue as to why the southern most states have lower scores?

too bad it didn't happen on a ranch in crawford

If you shoot someone in the back, it's considered to be cowardly. If you shoot yourself in the back, does that make you a coward or a contortionist?

A cowardly, contortional idiot.

Well, he may not be a Republican, but he's certainly a Texan.

Posted by TedBaxter

I have to say it, he might have been a Mexican.

Why would you put your finger on the trigger to scratch your back?

Whatever he is, he isn't very bright.

It's Hardy Boys, Mr. and/or Mrs. FullofClues...

...and he's the smart one in the family.

"
It's Hardy Boys, Mr. and/or Mrs. FullofClues...

Posted by dottedzebra at 2008-05-15 11:05 AM | Reply | Flag:
"

No, I've got a RAGING clue that it's 'Hardly' Boys. My clue is pointing this way. Maybe you can get a really big clue also. I've got such a throbbing clue right now.

What the fuck are you rambling about?

Also, George Bush who seems stupid to libs actually had better grades than Gore or Kerry

Bush is a Connecticut yankee. He moved to Texas to play in the oil business with bin laden's money
And failed.
Twice.
And we won't even get into his buying essays, or the impact of all that booze and coke has had on his brain.

Some guy named E-spinal shoots himself in the back?
You can't make this shit up.

All of you on here must be as stupid as he is. For one I know the man and I dont believe the story and for another look at the name he's not Texan he's not even from this country so how can you sit here and talk bad about Texas and call him a redneck.

look at the name he's not Texan he's not even from this country so how can you sit here and talk bad about Texas and call him a redneck.

Posted by myself1972


You moron. What's your name, Running Bear?

...and P.S., we've had right years of a good Texas, brush clearing example in the white house. What else could we think about texans?

right = eight

Myself1972,

Take it easy. I live in Texas also and I moved here from Alabama (which is the most beautiful state). So I pretty much get blasted in any geographical/intelligence stereotype.

But It doesn't bother me because I make shit-loads of money and I have a very very nice life and a nice retirement in a few years.

(Hint: if you tell people how nice you have it they will want to move there and Texas definately has enough people already).

"and I moved here from Alabama (which is the most beautiful state)."

Funny Flag!!!

Sincerely,
Alaska, Colorado, California, Arizona, Washington, Oregon, Wyoming, Utah, New Mexico, Hawaii, etc. etc. etc.

Every day something come out of Texas that make one wonder how the hell did this backward place become an American state. The armpit of the United States, the anal passage of the Country, Fuck TEXAS. Its probably to late but will Mexico take it back???

Fuck TEXAS.

sour grapes

Its probably to late but will Mexico take it back???

They wish. We'd kick their ass again. Something the US is having a hard time doing

Every day something come out of Texas

Everyday something comes out of every state, celery. (need proof?) But you are obsessed with Texas so those stories stick in your mind.

(Hint: if you tell people how nice you have it they will want to move there and Texas definately has enough people already).

Posted by Lipzoidial at 2008-05-15 01:03 PM

Exactly. The rustbelt expatriate yankees have really fucked the place up.

It's like the line from the Eagle's song, "The Last Resort":

"You call someplace paradise
Kiss it goodbye"

"GOATMAN"...Just answering statements on this website, what about that concept are you having trouble with...By an By FUCK TEXAS!!!

By an By FUCK TEXAS!!!

You'll never be able to reach the sweet grapes, Mr. Fox (celery). You are not worthy. So keep telling us how sour they are.

ONE hot summer's day a Fox was strolling through an orchard till he came to a bunch of Grapes just ripening on a vine which had been trained over a lofty branch. "Just the things to quench my thirst," quoth he. Drawing back a few paces, he took a run and a jump, and just missed the bunch. Turning round again with a One, Two, Three, he jumped up, but with no greater success. Again and again he tried after the tempting morsel, but at last had to give it up, and walked away with his nose in the air, saying: "I am sure they are sour."
"IT IS EASY TO DESPISE WHAT YOU CANNOT GET."

BTW, Celery -- true story: I'm cradling my 10 day old granddaughter in my left arm with my laptop in my lap. I was reading your last post and she spewed sour milk all over me and the keyboard. I just got it cleaned up.

No lie.

Actually, statistics show that Texans have the highest IQ average of all the states.



Horseshit.

Give us the a cite or link.

The Texan shoots himself while the California court affirms the right of all to wed. Best argument I've heard for intelligent design in some years. herm

"Goatman"..I don't blame your grand-daughter, your logic has made me want to hurl more than once....

Grandpa Goat

I was reading your [Celisary] last post and she spewed sour milk all over me and the keyboard. I just got it cleaned up.

Stop reading Celisary's posts outloud to the baby and maybe she won't throw up on you and your keyboard anymore. Of course, being the proud new grandfather, next you'll tell us you don't need to read Celisary's posts outloud to her because she's already reading on her own at 10 days old. (grin)

Since this upchucking happened when you were reading her Celisary's posts --

DID YOU BY CHANCE YELL ! ####!!!! AND SCREAM !!!*** WHEN YOU READ CELISARY'S USUAL ALL CAPS POSTS TO HER???!!!!! MAYBE YOU SCARED HER INTO THROWING UP?

Note -- on the link in my post above (3:53 p.m.) where in the far right column it says "Hoax IQ"? That was to show a correction to a previously published -- but incorrect -- list of IQ levels for all 50 states. This new version is the corrected one.

Goatman"..I don't blame your grand-daughter, your logic has made me want to hurl more than once....

re-read my post, celerystalk. It was your post (not mine) I was reading when she wretched.

Maybe it was your lack of comprension skills and not your bat-craziness post that did it, though.

*sigh* Would that I encounter a literate celery stalk . . .

Stop reading Celisary's posts outloud to the baby and maybe she won't throw up on you and your keyboard anymore.

You are right. She is much too young for horror stories!

Funny thing -- her mother was getting some much needed rest, but heard me reading the blog outloud. She thought I had gone crazy.

With the baby in my arm, she found it soothing to hear my voice and I wanted to blog, so I started reading it out loud. I read celery's post and sour milk (to go with celery's sour grapes, I guess) is how the wee one paid me back! *grin*

"BTW, Celery -- true story: I'm cradling my 10 day old granddaughter in my left arm with my laptop in my lap. I was reading your last post and she spewed sour milk all over me and the keyboard. I just got it cleaned up.

No lie.

Posted by goatman at 2008-05-15 01:49 PM"

The "no lie" comment was unnecessary, Goatman. So long as she was sane, any poor woman who gets cradled in your arm would puke.

The "no lie" comment was unnecessary, Goatman. So long as she was sane, any poor woman who gets cradled in your arm would puke.

Another illiterate leftie. *sigh* No wonder lefties are so fucked up. They can't even comprehend the simplest of the written word.

Would you like me to explain my post again as I had to do for celery stalk, monteboor?

YEEEEE-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!

There's one wetback who won't be applying for a free medical hemorrhoid removal benefit...

some of you who loooove to bash "texans" "rednecks" "hillbillies" etc are the same who scream RACIST and BIGGOT when someone else dares to look down there nose at people unlike themselves. you dont like Texas....we've heard you time and time again. please describe what's so great about where you live. seriously....i would like to hear about the wonderful places in this country (or out of it) that you live, and what makes them so great.

some of you who loooove to bash "texans" "rednecks" "hillbillies" etc are the same who scream RACIST and BIGGOT when someone else dares to look down there nose at people unlike themselves. you dont like Texas....we've heard you time and time again. please describe what's so great about where you live. seriously....i would like to hear about the wonderful places in this country (or out of it) that you live, and what makes them so great.

Posted by Monster at 2008-05-15 06:00 PM | Reply | Flag:

Looking down on someone, REGARDLESS OF RACE, does not make one a racist. A bigot perhaps, but not a racist.

When YOU look down on someone, based on skin color, that makes YOU racist. It's not complicated.

Do you really want me to compare Texas with my state?

Commonsense

you dont like Texas....we've heard you time and time again. please describe what's so great about where you live. seriously....i would like to hear about the wonderful places in this country (or out of it) that you live, and what makes them so great.

Posted by Monster at 2008-05-15 06:00 PM

I'd like an honest answer about your state too. Mine isn't a challenge to you though. I'm seriously looking for a new state to move to out of California so would appreciate any and all suggestions. I'm open to anywhere except for Arizona or Nevada -- I don't want any more desert heat 365 days a year. Water/lakes/greenery -- all would be a plus not to mention not too high housing costs. Thanks!

Do you really want me to compare Texas with my state?

Yes

i understand the difference between racism and bigotry....and no it isn't complicated to me. since when have i looked down my nose based on race/skin color? perhaps i misinterpreted your comments, but what do you know about my views on race? my simple point was the number of hypocrites here who call people out for racism and/or bigotry, then turn around and spew "clever" slurs without thinking twice.

and yes, i would like to know about your home state.

and yes, i would like to know about your home state.

Posted by Monster at 2008-05-15 07:00 PM | Reply | Flag:

Well, you asked. What would you like to know?

Local Eoconomy?
Avg Wage?
Avg Education?
Literacy Rates?
Pollution?
Number # of self started businesses?
Divorce rates?
Whatever you'd like.

"I'm open to anywhere except for Arizona or Nevada -- I don't want any more desert heat 365 days a year. Water/lakes/greenery"
from cal chris

while i live in az. now, i'm originally from pennsylvania... if one ventures to northern portion of az, one couldn't see the difference.
pinetrees, snowdrifts and blistering cold winters, and there's a couple lakes not too terribly far away.

az is known for the hellish heat... and rightly so.
if one doesn't get out of here for awhile in the summer, they'd be a burned, fried and not too terribly happy.

personally, i can't take the cold anymore.
i was in jersey years back and the cold was as blistering as i've ever experienced. harsh and then some.
cal is great, particularly the north - just way too expensive in the here and now.

you still looking to see why people don't like texas, chris?
talk to bl2 for awhile.

all the best

i just want to know why you would look down on a state you've probably visited once or twice in your life at most. what's paradise like? brag...here's your chance.

So I'm watching the news tonight and there's tape on the screen of a small plane sitting on the back of another small plane. One was landing, the other was taking off.

I said to myself, "Please don't tell me it's in Texas."






Sure enough.

I'm cradling my 10 day old granddaughter in my left arm with my laptop in my lap. I was reading your last post and she spewed sour milk all over me and the keyboard. I just got it cleaned up.

No lie.

Posted by goatman

This was her first inkling that she lives in Texas-THAT'S why she threw up.....

So I'm watching the news tonight and there's tape on the screen of a small plane sitting on the back of another small plane. One was landing, the other was taking off. I said to myself, "Please don't tell me it's in Texas."

Well, duh. Plane wrecks never happen anywhere else in the world but Texas. Everyone knows that!

This was her first inkling that she lives in Texas-THAT'S why she threw up.....


???

That she was being read to was her first inkling she lived in Texas?

God, you libs get weirder and weider on this subject. Get a life -- one that doesn't require that you obsess about Texas, OK? Y'all are getting weird beyond words.

Texans and Republicans. Left to their own devices they will all go extinct within a few thousand years. Only question is, can the rest of us survive them in the meantime?

Only question is, can the rest of us survive them in the meantime?

If you are lucky. Most are too weak to live up to the challenge. Survival of the fittest, baby.

The Mexicans infesting that shit hole you live in seem to be up to the challange, Goatjizz.

See, Goatman, this is why it's fun to rag Texans.


Such fragile flowers.

Get a life -- one that doesn't require that you obsess about Texas, OK? Y'all are getting weird beyond words.

Posted by goatman at 2008-05-15 11:56 PM

This coming from someone who has been posting on this inane texas post since this afternoon.

I've missed you itsallaboutme. Where are the semen references that make you what your are?

I've missed you itsallaboutme. Where are the semen references that make you what your are?

Where are the semen references that make you what your are?

Posted by goatman at 2008-05-16 12:36 AM


On your chin, Potsie.

Goatjizz.

Posted by itsme at 2008-05-16 12:26 AM

My bad, itsallaboutme. I did not think I was lucky enough to get two retorts from you. I now see the semen reference. You do still love me after all!

Such fragile flowers.

???

On your chin, Potsie.

Posted by itsme at 2008-05-16 12:37 AM

heheheh. He said "semen" and "on your chin, Potsie". heheheheh

I was lucky enough to get two retorts from you

Pity retorts, old man.

I was lucky enough to get two retorts from you

Not many people are. Cherish them, love. If you are lucky and play your cards right, you might get some of that goatjizz you can't stop talking about!

My bad, itsallaboutme. I did not think I was lucky enough to get two retorts from you. I now see the semen reference. You do still love me after all!


Posted by goatman at 2008-05-16 12:38 AM

That was taken from your attempt at a dig old man.

Go to bed.

Go to bed.

How about if I just send you that promised goatjizz in the mail, huh? No offense . . .

Scrape it off of your chin first, old man.

Scrape it off of your chin first, old man.

It was funnier the first time. Maybe it was the "Potsie" reference. Or maybe it just got old. *yawn*

i just want to know why you would look down on a state you've probably visited once or twice in your life at most. what's paradise like? brag...here's your chance.

Posted by Monster at 2008-05-15 10:10 PM | Reply | Flag:


My impressions of texas were all formed by the people who came from there. Before the Navy, I had no pre-conceived notions about the place nor the people. While in the service for 5 yeas, I met people from all over the world, but the most obnoxious people I have ever met were, by in large, from texas. Do I think these people spoke for everyone in texas, hell no, but I do think it's represents a large segment. Reinforced by some of it's residents right on this very blog.

but the most obnoxious people I have ever met were, by in large, from texas

I just wish all the assholes who keep moving here felt the same as you. We don't need 'em coming here telling us what we are doing wrong. (funny in itself -- people from the rustbelt telling the only state that was ever a republic before joining the US what they are doing wrong!)

California and Hawaii were republics before joining the US. You could make a case for Vermont, too, if I remember my history.

JJ

You don't understand, that's one of the things that makes Texans feel special. Don't try to dilute it.

"California and Hawaii were republics before joining the US. You could make a case for Vermont, too, if I remember my history."

Posted by johnjkavanagh

Better check on the details with a Hawaiian.

California and Hawaii were republics before joining the US.

California: Well, OK. But I meant a republic that lasted more than 25 days.

Hawaii: Zat is right -- better ask a native. I don't think you'll find many who recognize the four year occupation by howlies after the overthrow of their queen as a republic. At least that's how the natives I spoke to when I was stationed at Pearl Harbor felt.

But yes, the comgined time those two republics existed was still only about 40% the length of time Texas was a republic.

I was lucky enough to get two retorts from you

Not many people are. Cherish them, love. If you are lucky and play your cards right, you might get some of that goatjizz you can't stop talking about!

Guess some 'flirt alerts' are more than okay.

workds = works

I just wish all the assholes who keep moving here felt the same as you. We don't need 'em coming here telling us what we are doing wrong. (funny in itself -- people from the rustbelt telling the only state that was ever a republic before joining the US what they are doing wrong!)

Posted by goatman at 2008-05-16 02:25 AM | Reply | Flag:

WELL! Which is it? You either wish they felt all Texans were obnoxious or you don't. You say you don't need people coming there telling you what you're doing wrong and then say you wish they felt like me? HINT: I'd be saying the same thing about obnoxious texans. So, which is it?

Are you really using the fact that long ago Texas was a republic for your argument today? WEAK!

I guess I could say 'Funny that, Texans trying to tell Massachusetts, one of the original 13 colonies, what we're doing wrong. Also weak. Try to update those reasons, would ya.

I know it's probably impractical but sometimes I like to think about buying one of those really nice MOTORHOMES (microwave, satellite dish, the workds) and driving to wherever I want. I could see the country and then pick out a city to live after I've tried out a few spots.

If I got a good used motorhome I might not lose that much in value (as opposed to buying a brand new one) when I decided to sell and then I could settle down in a home somewhere. The idea of being able to pick up and go whenever I turned on the ingition brings out the adventurer in me.

Eventually I would get a house to live in but rather than pick a place right away and maybe not like it, a motorhome would give me a chance to check out a lot of states. What do you think?

Posted by CalifChris at 2008-05-16 02:11 PM | Reply | Flag:


I was watching The Hunt For Red October last night and your post reminds me of the part where the XO was talking about buying and 'RV' and driving from state to state without papers.

".....and I will marry a round American woman and she will cook rabbits for me"

You like rabbit stew? (grin)

WELL! Which is it? You either wish they felt all Texans were obnoxious or you don't.

Neither. I said I wish they all thought like you. You opinion of Texans is off, but I still wish everyone shared it because it would keep people away.

Texas' successes are its curse. Jobs, low taxes, good weather, friendly people, diversified cultures, diversifed geography, diversified climate, low cost of living, etc.

Are you really using the fact that long ago Texas was a republic for your argument today? WEAK!

Not really. The descendants of the brave men and women who made the republic still live here and share the same ideals as their forefathers

Not really. The descendants of the brave men and women who made the republic still live here and share the same ideals as their forefathers

Posted by goatman at 2008-05-16 02:35 PM | Reply | Flag:

So then you'd have no problem with me saying that the 'the descendants of the brave men and women, who were true founders of this nation, still live here and share the same ideals as their forefathers' when it comes to Massachusetts? I'm just asking. Nothing smarmy.

So then you'd have no problem with me saying that the 'the descendants of the brave men and women, who were true founders of this nation, still live here and share the same ideals as their forefathers' when it comes to Massachusetts?

Of course I'd have no problem with that. You've never heard me dissing Massachusettes or any other state as people here diss Texas.

i guess i'll just drop it as most people are only interested in trying to get a rise anyway. it's too difficult to have a prolonged "discussion" on drudge without someone taking it to the gutter. i've lived in a few states, and traveled to several, and i've met cool people and assholes in all of them. i just find it annoying when people who have no clue pipe up.