Drudge Retort: Red Meat for Yellow Dogs
Sunday, December 17, 2006

48-year-old Ted Dres died early Saturday morning after his pet snake wrapped itself around his neck, strangling him.

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Natural selection at work.

"Officials said the death highlights the risk that comes with owning exotic pets."

Lions and tigers and bears...Oh my!

Some snakes just choke in the clutch.

Gee, that's too bad.

Dear Owner

I could just love you to death!

- signed your friendly pet python

....

Holidaymas card found clutched in the owner's hand.

Should have stuck to making pets out of wild grizzly bears.

Signed,

Timothy Treadwell

I assume the snake's name is Monty...

Ahhhh, Ted, give me a great big hug.

I've got a question. If Ted was still alive when his so-called "friend" dialed 911 to say a python was wrapped around Ted's neck and strangling him -- WHY DIDN'T THE FRIEND DO SOMETHING IN THE MEANTIME before the deputies arrived?? Grab a meat cleaver and wack that mother (the python, not Ted) in half but do something other than waste emergency minutes for the deputies to get there.

Because Ted was probably gasping, "Don't hurt Monty!!!" to his friend.

Good God! What an ignoramus. I agree with Dave-Natural Selection at work.

What is with these dipshits?

Regarding Treadwell..

According to his account, he became involved with drugs after failing to gain the role won by Woody Harrelson in the sitcom Cheers. Treadwell claimed to his parents that he was the second-choice for the role, but this has not been independently verified.

This guy was more deluded than once thought. If you read his total story, he was basically a bum that was hanging out with bears. And to make it bad, he had his girlfriend with him when they were both eaten by bears...what an idiot...

Oops - someone forgot to tell the python not to swallow the hand that feeds it!

Love can be sufficating.

My ex was smothering me to death too.

Was that with his pet snake Lisa?

When are people going to learn that these are ---- dangerous animals? They are killers and are only doing what they are programmed to do, i.e., kill.

Surely, the owner of this huge snake didn't read the manual that said (I'm sure it's someplace out there) don't put this animal around your neck, but most of all don't let it get around your neck? Handle with extreme caution!!!

Aren't there supposed to be some safety options when a snake has gotten this big? Everyone in Florida who has one that has grown to this size just dumps it in the Everglades.....not a good thing! Perhaps a zoo?

Snakes are not, and will never be, your friends. This would be a good time to learn that lesson.

As you can probably tell, I HATE SNAKES! Both no leg and two leg kinds.....LOL

EVERGLADES NATIONAL PARK, Fla. (AP) - "SNAKE!" Hearing this shout, Skip Snow slammed on the brakes. When the off-roader plowed to a halt, he and his partner, Lori Oberhofer, leaped out and took off running toward two snakes, actually - a pair of 10-foot Burmese pythons lying on a levee, sunning themselves.

After slipping, sliding and tumbling down a rocky embankment, Snow, a wildlife biologist, grabbed one of the creatures by the tail. The python, Oberhofer says, did not care much for that.

"It made a sound like Darth Vader breathing," she says, "and then its head swung around and I saw this white mouth flying through the air."

Snow saw the mouth, too - the jaws open 180 degrees, the gums an obscene white, the needle-sharp teeth bared in an almost devilish grin. He let out a shriek, then blinked, and when his eyes opened the python's head was hanging in mid-air, less than a foot from his own.

Oberhofer, with a Ninja-like thrust, had snared the python in mid-strike.

"I snagged it right behind its head, on its neck," the 43-year-old wildlife technician recalls. "It was pure reflex - a defensive move. I don't know if I could ever do it again."

The python hadn't succumbed yet, however. "They defecate on you, on purpose, hoping to make you reconsider what you're doing," Oberhofer says. "It's not pleasant."

In the end, the humans were victorious, if not sweet-smelling: Both snakes were bagged, trucked off to the Everglades Research Center, euthanized and necropsied - meaning their innards were dissected, then meticulously inspected, for the benefit of science.

So goes python control in the Everglades, a painstaking, around-the-clock slog against a voracious, foreign snake species that has established a stronghold in this watery wilderness and put native wildlife at risk.

.........bellsouth newspage...ap story

Kerrin57, hilarious.....ROTFLMAO!!!!

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