The odds that Hannah Kelley will ever get a (secret) abortion have been severely reduced.

The odds that Hannah Kelley will ever get a (secret) abortion have been severely reduced.

Don't speak too soon... glasshouse certainly isn't above tapping the comatose.

It just happened."

God's Will, to be sure.

btw, does the church double as a garage during the week, or are all the attendees a little chubby and require garage doors to get in and out?

Yet another reason to require all cc permit holders to pass rigorous testing before ever being allowed to carry.

God's Will, to be sure.

If the bullet had grazed her head, they would have said god was protecting her. Following that same mangled logic to its conclusion, they should now be wondering why god saw fit not to protect their daughter.

You won't see them do that, though. The religious always find a way to rationalize tragedy so that their omnipotent imaginary friend only gets credit for the good stuff.

Everything is G-d's will; we just don't like that he is as much of a prick as we are. We were made in His spiritual image and think about how He describes himself: jealous, petty, judgmental, wrathful.

If the bullet had grazed her head, they would have said god was protecting her. Following that same mangled logic to its conclusion, they should now be wondering why god saw fit not to protect their daughter.

You won't see them do that, though. The religious always find a way to rationalize tragedy so that their omnipotent imaginary friend only gets credit for the good stuff.

#5 | Posted by Dr_Icepick at 2012-02-13

These sorts of issues are always confusing for people who conceptualize the immediate reality only. For those people, bad things happen and it's all so concrete and final.

When you watch a movie, and the movie ends, no one mopes that the movie is now dead and, gee, what a bastard God is.

No, you understand that the movie has a larger context, and that the bad things that happened in it had meaning, and that when the show is over you just go home.

no one mopes that the movie is now dead

Find a Star Wars fan and bring up the Original trilogy and the words "Blu Ray: Special Edition" and then say that again.

Jesus wept for Lazarus because Jesus was a man and his friend was now dead. Jesus, also being God, took his time going to Bethany because He knew that the larger context of Lazarus's death rendered it a mere detail.

Did Zed just compare a girl getting shot in the head to the end of a movie?

lol, ♥ the Retort.

Did Zed just compare a girl getting shot in the head to the end of a movie?

#11 | Posted by LIVE_OR_DIE at

To people without the concept of metaphor, all comparisons are shocking.

Has Billy Frist offered his prognosis yet?

Did Zed, "the Troll", just compare a girl getting shot in the head to the end of a movie?

#11 | Posted by LIVE_OR_DIE

Caution: Don't feed the troll.

"Yet another reason to require all cc permit holders to pass rigorous testing before ever being allowed to carry."

And revoking said permit if they do stupid shit like this.

Which "safety device" was he demonstrating? The trigger?

Which "safety device" was he demonstrating?

The risks of a negative outcome?

These sorts of issues are always confusing for people who conceptualize the immediate reality only. For those people, bad things happen and it's all so concrete and final.

#7 | Posted by Zed

Not confusing at all.

If it was His plan He is just an Asshole.

Caution: Don't feed the troll.

#14 | Posted by SHEEPLESHEPERD

I prefer the term "Eiger". More ominous.

Which "safety device" was he demonstrating?

"You shouldn’t touch the ordnance at all. But more specifically you should never pull this hand-operated lever to the rear. Do not push a clip of ammunition down into the feed rollers here. You never restore this lever to firing position. Do not make sure that this cover is completely closed. Never depress operator's foot triggers here, here, and at the rear here."

-1941

If it was His plan He is just an Asshole.

#17 | Posted by donnerboy at

Now, that's trolling.

"Authorities say that Zambrana has a permit for the weapon and did not break any laws."

Shooting people is legal in Florida?

Shooting people is legal in Florida?

If you feel threatened and have a CC, then yes.

The odds that Hannah Kelley will ever get a (secret) abortion have been severely reduced.

#1 | POSTED BY DARTHCHENEY AT 2012-02-13 02:32 PM | REPLY | FLAG:

The odds that Hannah Kelley will ever get a (secret) abortion have been severely reduced.
Don't speak too soon... glasshouse certainly isn't above tapping the comatose.

#2 | POSTED BY DR_ICEPICK AT 2012-02-13 02:37 PM | REPLY | FLAG:

It just happened."
God's Will, to be sure.
btw, does the church double as a garage during the week, or are all the attendees a little chubby and require garage doors to get in and out?

#3 | POSTED BY NORTHGUY3

You 3 are truly sick. You are sociopaths. It takes a lot to shock me, but wow...

Jesus wept for Lazarus because Jesus was a man and his friend was now dead. Jesus, also being God, took his time going to Bethany because He knew that the larger context of Lazarus's death rendered it a mere detail.

#10 | POSTED BY ZED AT 2012-02-13 03:21 PM | REPLY | FLAG:

He also knew he could fix that shit and bring old Laz back to life if he was so inclined

We mere mortals lack that ability

Shitty metaphore

Quit showing off your fucking firearm

Pretty simple rule to follow

I hope the idiot gets the highest involuntary manslaughter penalty they can enforce.

"I hope the idiot gets the highest involuntary manslaughter penalty they can enforce."

Well, since they didn't charge him with anything that ain't gonna happen.

Inbred Southern plowfucks

You 3 are truly sick. You are sociopaths. It takes a lot to shock me, but wow.

Oh come on Jest, haven't you ever opened a cold one? And anybody getting shot in church clearly did something to piss God off.

Oh come on Jest, haven't you ever opened a cold one? And anybody getting shot in church clearly did something to piss God off.

#28 | POSTED BY NORTHGUY3

Go tuck your kids in, asshole. Make sure you tell them what a sick fuck their daddy is.

It's "Groundhog Day".

It's a sign from above... that people have better things to do on a sunday morning!

Just got here - Anyone blame President George W. Bush and the NRA yet?

The story begs the question of why he was in a closet with two other men?

Oh come on Jest, haven't you ever opened a cold one? And anybody getting shot in church clearly did something to piss God off.

#28 | Posted by northguy3 at 2012-02-13 09:55 PM | Reply | Flag:

Are you trying to insinuate that you made the statement because you were drunk? Most people don't turn into a heartless, foolhardy wretch from just opening a cold one.

Everything is G-d's will; we just don't like that he is as much of a prick as we are. We were made in His spiritual image and think about how He describes himself: jealous, petty, judgmental, wrathful.

#6 | Posted by kanrei

cool, then when I am jealous petty judgemental and wrathful I am godlike!

I KNEW IT!

These sorts of issues are always confusing for people who conceptualize the immediate reality only. For those people, bad things happen and it's all so concrete and final.

#7 | Posted by Zed

or perhaps there just is not god, no good, no evil, no right, no wrong

just the consequences of our actions

and sometimes people do stupid things

and others suffer.

truth hurts donut

Has Billy Frist offered his prognosis yet?

#13 | POSTED BY REINHEITSGEBOT AT 2012-02-13 03:45 PM | REPLY | FLAG:

I have not heard if a heavily edited video of her was sent to him for diagnosis purposes.

When you watch a movie, and the movie ends, no one mopes that the movie is now dead and, gee, what a bastard God is.

No, you understand that the movie has a larger context, and that the bad things that happened in it had meaning, and that when the show is over you just go home.

#8 | Posted by Zed

hahahahahaha yeah there is meaning in this family's suffering

you pretentious ass

Jesus wept for Lazarus because Jesus was a man and his friend was now dead. Jesus, also being God, took his time going to Bethany because He knew that the larger context of Lazarus's death rendered it a mere detail.

#10 | Posted by Zed

And lo did jesus say, "UP LAZARUS" and Lazarus arose.

and so Lazarus arise and looked around himself and cried "BRAINS"

#36 | Posted by truthhurts at 2012-02-14 11:04 AM | Reply | Flag:

Interesting take... however... why do you assume that it cannot be the case that there is a God and yet there are still consequences of our actions that we must deal with?

#36 | Posted by truthhurts at 2012-02-14 11:04 AM | Reply | Flag:

Interesting take... however... why do you assume that it cannot be the case that there is a God and yet there are still consequences of our actions that we must deal with?

#40 | Posted by ExpsRedemption

god and consequences of our actions are mutually exclusive.

but we've had this discussion before

#41 | Posted by truthhurts at 2012-02-14 11:11 AM | Reply | Flag:

Not necessarily.

It's a sign from above... that people have better things to do on a sunday morning!

#31 | Posted by Dr_Icepick

Amen.

but we've had this discussion before

#42 | Posted by truthhurts at 2012-02-14 11:11 AM | Reply | Flag:

You are right, why spam the thread.

The woman got shot in the head by an individual who made an unfortunate and misguided decision to play with a gun in an area with other people.

It is a sad case of affairs. I am sure she would appreciate prayers at this time.

though I highly doubt her family is reading the DR at this time and prayers dont work, I am willing to wish her and her family healing and a positive outcome

When you watch a movie, and the movie ends, no one mopes that the movie is now dead and, gee, what a bastard God is.

That is probably the most pathetic and ridiculous comparison that you could possibly make.

What kind of fucking idiot actually believes this stuff?

Ex-I wasn't referring to a beer, son. It's a mortician joke. Poor old Jest is having a nervous breakdown and I thought a little sex might relieve some of his anxieties.

Go tuck your kids in, asshole. Make sure you tell them what a sick fuck their daddy is.

Too big to tuck in and too far away, but they know. And some of their jokes are worse than mine.
Latest-what's the difference between Boy Scouts and jews? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

It is a sad case of affairs. I am sure she would appreciate prayers at this time.

Your prayers are meaningless. What she would "appreciate" is not being shot in the head.

Regarding your "prayers"... what kind of deity bothers to heal shooting victims, but can't be troubled to deflect bullets?

Think on that for a second. What kind of sick, sadistic fuck do you spend your sundays glorifying? What kind of deluded moron devotes his life to stoking the ego of a cosmic sociopath?

I don't understand how the guy isn't being charged with anything. Guns don't just go off.

If it was His plan He is just an Asshole.

#17 | Posted by donnerboy at

Now, that's trolling.

#20 | Posted by Zed

Whatever you say Zed...

Hey... if you want to worship an entity that will kill 250,000 humans on a whim you have at it.

I still think He is just being an Asshole. He is God and I am Human.

He can do whatever He wants and I have NO say in the matter.

I am sure she would appreciate prayers at this time.

#45 | Posted by ExpsRedemption

Your prayers will do nothing to change the situation. But, if it makes you feel better have at it. Don't make out like it does anything though.

In fact, studies show that when someone knows they are being prayed for they tend to do worse. Why? Because if someone is praying for you then you are probably fucked.

#49 | Posted by Dr_Icepick at 2012-02-14 12:34 PM | Reply | Flag:
#52 | Posted by donnerboy at 2012-02-14 02:23 PM | Reply | Flag:

Two individuals that miss the point. Being aware that people are thinking of you and your family in a time of need (coming from her families perspective - praying) is helpful to get through a difficult situation.

Now evolution states that one should use things that help us get through difficult situations... so you have a problem with evolution now too?

Funny stuff.

#49 | Posted by Dr_Icepick at 2012-02-14 12:34 PM | Reply | Flag: Has cats, neurons disconnected.

"evolution states that one should use things that help us get through difficult situations."

Ah, that old tactic: pull made-up shit out of your ass.

Ah, that old tactic: pull made-up shit out of your ass.

#55 | Posted by Danforth

Yes, adaptation and advantageous behavior is made up...

#55 | Posted by Danforth at 2012-02-14 02:29 PM | Reply | Flag:

don't pull your overly literalistic b.s. in defense of your oversight please.

"Yes, adaptation and advantageous behavior is made up..."

That's not what you claimed, dufus. You can't prove prayer is "advantageous behavior".

"don't pull your overly literalistic b.s. in defense of your oversight please."

Translation: Don't use my actual words against me!

#58 | Posted by Danforth at 2012-02-14 03:13 PM | Reply | Flag:

I can't? It is advantageous for some people. It helps them, or they think it does.

Humans are predisposed to a belief in God(s). It is natural, evolutionary even. It must have some benefit.

You are not going to agree with me anyway. You're a little defensive today. Thanks for the discussion. Have a nice evening.

-You're a little defensive today.

today?

"It is advantageous for some people. It helps them, or they think it does. "

Two. Different. Things.

"Humans are predisposed to a belief in God(s)"

That doesn't prove praying to the Sun has any advantages at all.

"Thanks for the discussion."

What discussion? You barfed some bullshit and got called on it.

#62 | Posted by Danforth at 2012-02-14 03:37 PM | Reply | Flag:

Sure it does. It is the predisposed belief in God that has helped people as a civilization come to where they are today. That includes prayers during difficult times, as well as prayer rather than violence to deal with certain issues.

You are free to continue to be obtuse.

"It is the predisposed belief in God that has helped people as a civilization come to where they are today."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

What utter horse shit.

#64 | Posted by Zatoichi at 2012-02-14 03:48 PM | Reply | Flag:

evolution states that

I think we've already established that you know dick about evolution.

I think we've already established that you know dick about evolution.

#66 | Posted by Dr_Icepick at 2012-02-14 03:56 PM | Reply | Flag:

Advantageous behavior and beliefs don't contribute to evolution?

Advantageous behavior and beliefs don't contribute to evolution?

You presume that the idiotic behavior of individual religious sects is advantageous, heritable, and genetic in origin. Do yourself a favor and actually learn a thing or two about the topic before you start babbling incoherently.

#68 | Posted by Dr_Icepick at 2012-02-14 04:08 PM | Reply | Flag:

You appear to assume quite a bit as well. Take a look at your post. One big assumption. Take your advice on babbling incoherently. Removing your prejudice and ignorance would be a well intentioned start.

You appear to assume quite a bit as well. Take a look at your post. One big assumption.

It would be an "assumption" if it weren't based on your own words, dumbass. Your scientifically illiterate commentary on evolution was weighed fundamental scientific facts... and it was found lacking.

Are you really as stupid as you act, or is your rambling just an attempt to conceal the utter ridiculousness of your beliefs?

was weighed fundamental scientific facts... and it was found lacking.

#70 | Posted by Dr_Icepick at 2012-02-14 04:28 PM | Reply | Flag:

"Are you really as stupid as you act, or is your rambling just an attempt to conceal the utter ridiculousness of your beliefs?"

Ironic you make the above statement in post #70

Thanks for the laugh. Again, try removing your prejudice and ignorance, then deal with your assumptions, then try not to babble incoherently.

as well as prayer rather than violence to deal with certain issues.

Like the inquisition or crusades.

Religion is a tool to gain power. Nothing more.

Everything is G-d's will; we just don't like that he is as much of a prick as we are. We were made in His spiritual image and think about how He describes himself: jealous, petty, judgmental, wrathful.

#6 | Posted by kanrei at 2012-02

You've nailed it this time Kanrei!

Isn't it about time we gave this god the ass and started thinking for our selves.

truth hurts donut

#36 | Posted by truthhurts

What hurts is that as far as you've gotten in life is the realization that people do stupid things with consequences.

Now that I've restated your view of human existence, quite literally all of it, you're at liberty to behave as if it matters.

That's is, if you believe in free will. If you don't, then you're just another hyper-complex cockroach waiting to be swatted.

Isn't it about time we gave this god the ass and started thinking for our selves.

#73 | Posted by Sord at

No one's stopping you, God or no God.

truth hurts donut

#36 | Posted by truthhurts

What hurts is that as far as you've gotten in life is the realization that people do stupid things with consequences.

TH: people also do smart things with consequences, so what is your point. Wisdom assuages the hurts. That its better than living in a delusion imo.

Now that I've restated your view of human existence, quite literally all of it, you're at liberty to behave as if it matters.

TH: Well there is a little more to it than that, but you are smart enough to figure it out. truth can be liberating if you know what to do with it.

That's is, if you believe in free will. If you don't, then you're just another hyper-complex cockroach waiting to be swatted.

#74 | Posted by Zed

TH: We are all just so, sorry if the truth hurts.

TH: We are all just so, sorry if the truth hurts.

#76 | Posted by truthhurts

Not sure I understand your response. Just as a guess, it's another cheerleading attempt-----One you may as well be addressing to the cockroaches, except that they anticipated your point of view by about eighty million years.

just another way of saying we are all complex bags of shit and spice

TH: Well there is a little more to it than that

76 | Posted by truthhurts

Very little. It's intellectual ankle-biting. A mode of thought that aspires to nothing because, as a matter of what you'd identify as self-evident fact, there's nothing to aspire to.

just another way of saying we are all complex bags of shit and spice

#78 | Posted by truthhurts

It's reductionism that says much more about you than anything real.

Everything is G-d's will; we just don't like that he is as much of a prick as we are. We were made in His spiritual image and think about how He describes himself: jealous, petty, judgmental, wrathful.
#6 | Posted by kanrei at 2012-02-13 02:52 PM

What?! No musical parody?

They keep Moishe the Jew guard in his tiny cabinet
He vows to protect but his gun fired at someone innocent
Miss Clairol was guilty of being no-one's enemy
Other than the guy who wants her boyfriends time..
Abercrombie and it's Fitch, well-worth the price of it
But even a gay Jew will haggle the price

He's a kosher queen apologetically murdering
Schmutzy with a magazine
Accidentally blows your mind
L'chaim, oy..
Still kvetching at the price
As bits of Hannah are sent alight
It's only goy..

Your people killed Jesus, so the least you could do is jig.:]

#72 | Posted by 726 at 2012-02-14 06:14 PM | Reply | Flag:

What you mean is that tools use religion to gain power. That is more accurate.

If you haven't notices, humans, with or without religion have been able to corrupt absolutely everything in the world.

I would say it is a human problem. You probably disagree because you don't want to implicate yourself.

God's love at work again. Lololol

If the bullet had grazed her head, they would have said god was protecting her. Following that same mangled logic to its conclusion, they should now be wondering why god saw fit not to protect their daughter.

You won't see them do that, though. The religious always find a way to rationalize tragedy so that their omnipotent imaginary friend only gets credit for the good stuff.

#5 | Posted by Dr_Icepick

Actually the mantra in this case is testing the parents.....it's the standard response to any parent asking why god "gave" their child cancer after they die.

test of faith.

sall bullshit to me..shit happens

Actually the mantra in this case is testing the parents

#85 | Posted by Lohocla

Actually it's not.

You scholars are welcome to come to Sunday school, well....Any Sunday. Bring a book for making notes and an appetite.....We're likely to feed you.

Well, in my opinion that's a whole lot of posts deflecting from the basic point that irresponsible idiots, in church or anywhere else, shouldn't be allowed to play with real guns.

Actually the mantra in this case is testing the parents

#85 | Posted by Lohocla

Actually it's not.

You scholars are welcome to come to Sunday school, well....Any Sunday. Bring a book for making notes and an appetite.....We're likely to feed you.

#86 | Posted by Zed

Been to enough funerals in my life to have heard it more than once, by more than one faith.

Pretty standard really, words are slightly different but the gist is.....
dead person is in heaven (regardless of how well they lived their life etc) and that god's taking them so soon isn't a punishment but should be looked at as a test of faith by those who loved him/her. blah blah blah.

So, while it may not be that way in your sunday school, feel free to stop in on a funeral of a child (tacky as it sounds) to see for yourself.

Loh

Well, in my opinion that's a whole lot of posts deflecting from the basic point that irresponsible idiots, in church or anywhere else, shouldn't be allowed to play with real guns.

#87 | Posted by REDIAL

Point well made.

Pretty standard really, words are slightly different but the gist is.....
dead person is in heaven (regardless of how well they lived their life etc) and that god's taking them so soon isn't a punishment but should be looked at as a test of faith by those who loved him/her. blah blah blah.

So, while it may not be that way in your sunday school, feel free to stop in on a funeral of a child (tacky as it sounds) to see for yourself.

#88 | Posted by Lohocla at 2012-02-16 06:30 AM

Never heard any of the above, at any funeral, or any service, or any time.

Just saying.