A little something for everyone.

For Repubs:

...all of these developments, unfortunate as they were, would not by themselves have made 2011 truly awful. What made it truly awful was the economy, which, for what felt like the 17th straight year, continued to stagger around like a zombie on crack. Nothing seemed to help. President Obama, whose instinctive reaction to pretty much everything that happens, including sunrise, is to deliver a nationally televised address, delivered numerous nationally televised addresses on the economy, but somehow these did not do the trick.

Neither did the approximately 37 million words emitted by the approximately 249 Republican-presidential-
contender televised debates, out of which the single most memorable statement made was, quote: "Oops."

MAY: the big story takes place in Abbottabad, Pakistan, where Osama bin Laden, enjoying a quiet evening chilling in his compound with his various wives and children and porn stash, receives an unexpected drop-in visit from a team of Navy SEALs... While Americans celebrate, the prime minister of Pakistan declares that his nation (a) is very upset about the raid, and (b) had no earthly idea that the world’s most wanted terrorist had been living in a major Pakistani city in a large high-walled compound with a mailbox that said BIN LADEN. “As God is my witness,” states the prime minister, “we thought that place was a Wal-Mart.”

Abroad, the worsening Greek economic crisis forces Prime Minister George Papandreou to resign, leading to the formation of a new coalition government headed â€" in what some economists view as a troubling sign â€" by Bernie Madoff.

In Arab Spring developments, Libyan strongperson and lunatic Moammar Gadhafi steps down and receives an enthusiastic sendoff from his countrymen, who then carry him, amid much festivity, to his retirement freezer.

Dave Barry rocks.

Undaunted, Democratic and Republican leaders move forward with the vital work of blaming each other. As it becomes clear that Congress will do nothing, a visibly frowning President Obama delivers a nationally televised address in which he vows to, quote, “continue reading whatever it says here on the Teleprompter.”

Such focus.

Dave is one funny guy. He must have a slice of baloney in his shoe..

That is brilliant

In political news, Texas Gov. Rick Perry announces that he will seek the Republican nomination with a goal of “restoring the fundamental American right to life, liberty, and a third thing.”