WPP* identified.
solution: an hero.

*white people problem

Happy birthday! 30 is the new 20. Go out and have a good time with good friends.

I'm only 24, and already dreading that day I turn 30. Sorry, man. Hope it's not as bad as I image. Just promise you won't move to Portland fight maturity for the rest of your life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Take it from someone 40, your 30's are awesome! You feel, think, and act exactly like you did in your 20's, but you have a bank account and paid vacations!

It's all good Liveordie.

a TON of great stuff has happened in my life since 30.

1. kids
2. I'm a LOT richer
3. I've actually had more sex since turning 30.

BTW,

I turn 43 tomorrow.

but you have a bank account and paid vacations!

#4 | Posted by kanrei at 2011-12-30 10:15 AM

It's been wonderful.

Lol lod. You're as young as you feel. I'm almost 50 and I actually do feel younger than I did at 30 when i was fatter, smoking a lot, and lacked much of the social-skills and cultural understadings I gained from a reading quest in my mid-30s ("midlife crisis" of personal values/views after "paranormal" experience atheism seeemed to risky, etc).

So, like so many people say, aging is what you make of it.

And remember: Men grow refined and distinguished; women grow old.

Posted by LIVE_OR_DIE

If you already feel like you are on your last leg you do not have much to look forward to. Happy Birthday...29 and stopped counting.

29 and stopped counting.

Posted by KBM at 2011-12-30 10:24 AM |

I follow the "Jack Benny" method of only celebrating my 39th birthday. Done twice so far and will keep going. Can't wait to turn 39 next year!

"You're as young as you feel."
#8 | Posted by reitze at 2011-12-30 10:20 AM | Reply

Swell. That makes me 147.

Age 69 and loving it.

And remember: Men grow refined and distinguished; women grow old.

#9 | Posted by kanrei at 2011-12-30 10:22 AM

3. I've actually had more sex since turning 30.

#5 | Posted by eberly at 2011-12-30 10:18 AM

Though, I fear we may be past the stage where she randomly decides to bring home another woman with her. Damn old age.

The dirty thirty ehh?

Happy Birthday man.

I myself am only a couple of months from that one. Its a tough pill.
Let me know how it works out and perhaps give some sage like thirty advise to me when my day comes.

#6 | Posted by eberly at 2011-12-30 10:18 AM | Reply | Flag: Flag:

Happy early birthday to you too guy.

I'm surprised this song hasn't been Kanreized, so I'll just put the original lyrics.

Lather was thirty years old today,
They took away all of his toys.
His mother sent newspaper clippings to him,
About his old friends who'd stopped being boys.
There was Harwitz E. Green, just turned thirty-three,
His leather chair waits at the bank.
And Sergeant Dow Jones, twenty-seven years old,
Commanding his very own tank.
But Lather still finds it a nice thing to do,
To lie about nude in the sand,
Drawing pictures of mountains that look like bumps,
And thrashing the air with his hands.

But wait, oh Lather's productive you know,
He produces the finest of sounds,
Putting drumsticks on either side of his nose,
Snorting the best licks in town,
But that's all over...

Lather was thirty years old today,
And Lather came foam from his tongue.
He looked at me eyes wide and plainly said,
Is it true that I'm no longer young?
And the children call him famous,
what the old men call insane,
And sometimes he's so nameless,
That he hardly knows which game to play...
Which words to say...
And I should have told him, "No, you're not old."
And I should have let him go on...smiling...baby-wide.

It only gets better. Yes, time marches faster the older you get, but the better quality of it is worth it. I'm 56 and there is no way I'd go back. Life's too good now

Happy birthday

I don't know that song =(

Yeah, seems like the longer I'm married the more the wife puts out. Weird.

Mine turned into a sex machine after I got a vasectomy. I was about thirty then, so maybe it was the age.

Jefferson Airplane, Kanrei. Youtube it. It's a haunting song wtritten in a minor key and done in 3/4 time -- odd for a rock song, but it works

Plus you can't go wrong with Grace Slick

What album?

I have Surrelistic Pillow, Volunteers, Early Flight, and Long John Silver on vinyl.

Let me know how it works out and perhaps give some sage like thirty advise to me when my day comes.

#15 | Posted by Alaskan_Guy at 2011-12-30 10:29 AM

Good luck.

Christ I wish I was 30 with all of my accumulated knowledge... you should be so lucky! Enjoy it! My 30's kicked ass! Of course, the fucking economy was slightly different... but I digress!

My great grandmother used to say "every birthday that ends in a zero is an accomplishment; you made it. Close the book on the previous decade and start a new chapter."

I think it was "Crown of Creation" Kanrei, but not 100% sure on that

Confirming Crown of Creation.
Another cut I liked on that album was Triad but that was then.

One of my granddaughters is having a birthday party today.

I didn't get into the Airplane until my late 30's. After so long of only hearing White Rabbit and Someone to Love, I was shocked at how offensive they were for the time. Grace Slick WAS the MAN! The Christians song on Long John Silver is just spiteful and amazing.

"I didn't get into the Airplane until my late 30's."

When I was 16 Surrealistic Pillow was just out.
I think it was Ed Sullivan; Grace wore mirrored contacts.

It was actually following David Crosby and Jerry Garcia side projects that lead me to the Airplane.

congratulations for being one day closer to your death.

sincerely,
n. herder

Did you find that the Universe
Doesn't care at all?
Did you find that if you don't care
This whole wrong world will fall?
Or have you come by again
To die again?
Try again another time

Did you ever capture
All those jewels in the sky?
Did you find that the world outside
Is all inside your mind?
Or have you come by again
To die again
Try again another time

From
"Another Time"
By Tom Rapp

Pearls Before Swine, One Nation Underground
My copy is 43 years old, still sounds pretty good.

"At 30, I'm basically over the hill."

30 is jailbait. When you get to be my age, 30-year-olds look like infants.

P.S. Happy birthday.

"Over the hill."

Shit boy, I have socks older than you are.

The hill moved. I remember when my dad turned 40, they threw him an "Over the Hill" party. At 40 now, still can't see the fucking hill.

The hill moved. I remember when my dad turned 40, they threw him an "Over the Hill" party. At 40 now, still can't see the fucking hill.

Indeed. My mother died when she was 41. I was 22. I rememember thinking, "well, she lived a long time". LOL

The only hill is Boot Hill and you don't know when you'll get there, you only know the odds.

"I'm only 24, and already dreading that day I turn 30."

Nah...30 is great; it's when preparation meets opportunity.

Late 20s though, is like being a race car driver in neutral: you rev your engine and make a lot of noise, but you don't seem to be getting anywhere.

Today is just about perfect, sunny, high 60's.
Perfect for a little girl's birthday party somewhere near Hamilton Pool.
Cheers!

Happy birthday, LoD, you young pup.

I got my first tattoo the day I turned 30.

P.S. Happy birthday.

#33 | Posted by Diablo at 2011-12-30 11:06 AM

(damnit, I just slammed you in another thread and here you are being all friendly and shit)

Late 20s though, is like being a race car driver in neutral: you rev your engine and make a lot of noise, but you don't seem to be getting anywhere.

#39 | Posted by Danforth at 2011-12-30 11:25 AM

"I've been really wanting a change."

One word of warning: the day I became self-employed, my boss turned into an asshole.

Happy birthday. I turned 30 three weeks ago. The only difference I've noticed in the last year or two is that my hangovers last longer after I make really stupid decisions. You're only as old as you act.

For example consider Sonny and Cher. Sonny is dead, and Cher still looks like she's 20.

#8 | POSTED BY REITZE AT 2011-12-30 10:20 AM | REPLY | FLAG:

That picture of Cher is 22 years old, idiot.

That picture of Cher is 22 years old, idiot.

#47 | Posted by soheifox at 2011-12-30 12:52 PM

What would the Retort be without Reitze?

Why are you trolling for attention?

You're now 30 years old?

Who cares....

Pinchawoaf, I love you too, you old cunt.

30 is still very young....I turned 50 in october..30 didn't bother me much although I could finally relate to an old Randy Stonehill song "Turning 30". For some reason 35 hit me harder....that one made me realize that I really am an adult now and that there is no turning back. 50 is its own shock to your system...that and becoming a grandfather the same year. Just wait until the word "grampa" applies to you...

Congrats on this milestone....

Happy birthday, you doddering old tricenarian.

30 is nothing. You can still do all kinds of things to your body and recover from them the next day.

At 44, every time I get out and exercise with the kids I discover a new muscle group I can injure.

" What album?

I have Surrelistic Pillow, Volunteers, Early Flight, and Long John Silver on vinyl.
#21 | Posted by kanrei at 2011-12-30 10:39 AM"

Happy B'Day, Kanrei!

Like many (most?) things in life: it's not as bad as feared, nor as good as hoped.

Meanwhile: What? No "After Bathing at Baxter's"???

HT to goatman for the 'Lather' reference. Another in a long list of great songs from JA on a particularly great album: Crown of Creation (which, BTW, came out just after 'After Bathing at Baxter's'). First cut, first side (altho' I'm partial to the first cut, second side: 'If You Feel' ---> great song to 'clean the speakers' with!).

As long as I'm waxing nostalgic (old age, I guess): JA, 'the Dead', and Quicksilver (Messenger Service) made up the backbone of the SF sound in the psychedelic '60's. Good times...

Congrats on this milestone....

#51 | POSTED BY DCINMA AT 2011-12-30 01:08 PM | REPLY | FLAG

don't forget your colonoscopy

. I'm seriously sick of sitting at a damn desk all day.

I was a cubicle commando for 20 years with MCI and Sprint. I hated -- fucking hated -- it. Only occasionally (about 8% of the time) would I go to a customer location somewhere else in the country. Otherwise I fixed shit over the PC.

But now on the oil rig I am away from the cubicle and being an ET takes me from teh top of the derrick to the bottom of the hull and from the bow to the stern. I love it

I was a cubicle commando for 20 years with MCI and Sprint. I hated -- fucking hated -- it. Only occasionally (about 8% of the time) would I go to a customer location somewhere else in the country. Otherwise I fixed shit over the PC.

But now on the oil rig I am away from the cubicle and being an ET takes me from teh top of the derrick to the bottom of the hull and from the bow to the stern. I love it

#55 | Posted by goatman at 2011-12-30 01:34 PM

I'm glad you found something more fullfilling.

"don't forget your colonoscopy"

Did that at 40....and will never do it again...

Thirty is not old.

Most men are just reaching emotional maturity at 30.

.

Live_or_Die: At 30, I'm basically over the hill. My best years are behind me. How do the rest of you deal with it?

Posted by LIVE_OR_DIE

I turned 50 this year. If you think the outlook for your future years are that bleak, you should probably just put a bullet through your head now.

Damn LoD, I always pictured you as some bitter old codger at least in his 60s.

Interesting though that the DR has more young members than I expected.

Happy birthday ! (my 30th is next year)

Happy Birthday, Live or Die

It's time to plan for the future LOL

Damn LoD, I always pictured you as some bitter old codger at least in his 60s.

#60 | Posted by jpw at 2011-12-30 02:31 PM

(my 30th is next year) You old coot.

Happy Birthday, Live or Die

It's time to plan for the future LOL

www.bestpricecaskets.com

#61 | Posted by AMERICANUNITY at 2011-12-30 02:37 PM

I'm as old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth.

Happy B-Day cLoD

Happy B-Day cLoD

#63 | Posted by donnerboy at 2011-12-30 02:52 PM

Poor thing if I was 30 I'd kill myself thank God I'm 58

Seriously, Happy Birthday Live or Die

If you never put off stuff you want to do 'someday' and keep an open mind you'll never grow old where it counts - between the ears.

M. Scott Peck wrote in "A Road Less Traveled":

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why they call it 'the present'".

Hope you have a great birthday, man. :-)

You ain't old until you become invisible to younger women.
And happy birthday. My youngest (25) got married Wednesday night.

"I turn 43 tomorrow."

Ah...daddy's little tax deduction.

Induced?

Way too much time on your hands. Guess it stands to reason. With only 55% of the 18-29 demographic now gamely employed, is it any wonder you have that time? Payback is a bitch for the "youth" vote who put the Messiah into office. You think you're suffering now. Wait till you have to work till your 75 to pay all your stupid ass demographic debt. Buck up dickhead, you're not even half way there! We all can only hope you become a contributor in some way other than your stupid as posts. Americas 2008 brain fart lives on. NOBAMA 2012

shit starts getting bad after thirty.

shit gets BETTER after 30. Trust me, it does. Happy Birthday, LOD.

Happy Birthday, my right-leanng interlocutor. My 30th was great: just started living with my soon-to-be fiancee; on top of the world; good physical shape... Well, that last one has gone to pot. But it was great--a good start to a good decade.

And now, the end is here
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and ev'ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
"Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way"

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way! herm, 81 and a half

30 is old? LOL
I could hang my leather jacket on BOBO at 30.
Now a wet wash cloth slides off. Try 72

Happy 30th Birthday, ya little punk! : )

Now go out and party until the sun comes up, while you still can.

Happy Birthday, my right-leanng interlocutor. My 30th was great: just started living with my soon-to-be fiancee; on top of the world; good physical shape... Well, that last one has gone to pot. But it was great--a good start to a good decade.

#72 | Posted by pragmatist at 2011-12-30 04:11 PM

RE: #74 | Posted by phesterOBoyle at 2011-12-30 05:27 PM

So, this guy goes to the doctor and:

Doctor: What seems to be the problem?

Patient: Well, when I was 18, I couldn't push BOBO down even while using both hands. Then, when I turned 30, I could push BOBO down with one hand. Now that I'm 50, I can push BOBO down with just one finger!

Doctor: So, what's the problem?

Patient: What I want to know doc is:
Just how strong am I going to GET?!

76 | Posted by WHINE_OR_CRY

It's not because you are geting older, it's because you are uneducated and marginally retarded.

That picture of Cher is 22 years old, idiot.
#47 | Posted by soheifox at 2011-12-30 12:52 PM

That's fucking hilarious. I still thought it was gross.
What would the Retort be without Reitze?

#48 | POSTED BY LIVE_OR_DIE AT 2011-12-30 12:54 PM | REPLY | FLAG

You ever seen that video? Go look it up on youtube. I'll wait.

Now compare it to that photo. Amazing what airbrushes can do, hey? Cher already looked old.. a dignified and beautiful old, but certainly old, in 1989. That costume was very very wrong for a woman of her apparent age to be wearing.

Now imagine what she looks like today. I still wouldn't throw her out of bed, she has a natural calm and regal presence that all women who are utterly amazing in bed seem to have, but she doesn't look 22.

Catch_or_Pitch is crying about turning 30? Well, I guess you can turn more to catching than pitching now, you decrepit fucker.

;^)

Happy Birthday, asswipe.

P.S. I've got 20 years on ya, and still wake up every morning sportin' a woody....

Actually, it has often been pointed out that the 30s usually are the best years of a person's life. When you are a teenager or in your 20s, a person usually doesn't know shit and is far too easily taken advantage of. (Which is why it is always dumb-ass people in their 20s who are targeted in prank shows such as Punk'd et al. Older people are more likely to see thru such shit, or at the very least, respond in a sensible and mature manner.) A person in their 20s may be intelligent, but generally speaking, lacks experience and real-world knowledge to fully 'play the game' of life.

When you are in your 40s or older, the body starts having problems. Your general health is not what it once was. Physical limitations generally start to kick in. (Obviously this is not true of every single person alive, just most people.) It is true for most people that the older they get, the savvier they get. But what fun is it once the body starts acting up?

But when you are in your 30s life tends to be as good as it gets. By that age, most people have their act together. They are physically healthy. They are no longer clueless. They usually have some money and an idea of what to do with it. Life is great for those years.

Happy B-day...

I wouldnt want to go back to 30 for anything in the world. I will be 43 next year and I am loving it. It's true what they say about the wives. Mine is putting out more than ever. Maybe I've just gotten old and slower! :)..

Damn LoD, I always pictured you as some bitter old codger at least in his 60s.

Interesting though that the DR has more young members than I expected.

Happy birthday ! (my 30th is next year)

#60 | Posted by jpw at 2011-12-30 02:31 PM | Reply

20 years from now when LoD and jpw mature and their net worth is more then a few pennies, we'll watch them post conservative posts (naturally, without the cussin and swearin).

Happy birthday LOD. My wife celebrated her 44th day. At 57 I was beginging to think I was the oldest here until Drunk on whiskey sours piped up he was 58.

don't forget your colonoscopy

#54 | POSTED BY SOMOCO

Two years ago my doctor asked me if I've had one yet. I said no so he scheduled one.

Now when the doctor asks me if I had my colonoscopy I say, "yes, last month all is good."

If you do not like being a desk jockey, make a change now while you are young; it gets no better. Consider identifying where you want to be and drive to that (within your chosen field) rather than scrap your profession. Happy b-day.

Thirty is still very young. I'm in my 50's and I'd love to be 30 again.

I really didn't start to feel old until really sometime after 45.

But trust me on this one Kid ; 30 is still young.

Mine is putting out more than ever. Maybe I've just gotten old and slower! :)..

#82 | Posted by boaz

Those strange cowboy boots by the back door weren't a clue? (kidding)

30 is just starting out. Wish I could lose 30 years. Then we would be even and I would challange you to an arm wrestling match.

challenge

How did we deal with being 30? 40 happened.

Don't you folks know that after 13 it's all down hill from there? lol

30 was great!

Heck so was 40.

Being over 50 now is the best--as a career woman--I really do recognize the respect --and believe me it's all been earned. It is greatly appreciated too.

LoD--enjoy it friend--save your money (401k, etc.) and stay healthy.

Have some fun and set short and long term goals.

Before you know it--you'll be 50!

"save your money (401k, etc.)"

Agreed.

The one person you'll never meet: the one who believes they saved too much money for retirement.

Aww, spend while you make it... you gotta enjoy it while it lasts.

If you feel your best days are behind you I suggest you go suck on a gun barrel because you have got to be one of the dumbest fucks around.

The one person you'll never meet: the one who believes they saved too much money for retirement.

#92 | POSTED BY DANFORTH AT 2011-12-31 12:08 AM | REPLY | FLAG

Really? I've met plenty of folks who believe they've wasted their lives pursuing and packing away money; who wish they'd had fun while they were still young enough to enjoy it.

"Really? I've met plenty of folks who believe they've wasted their lives pursuing and packing away money"

The next retiree I meet with that belief will be my first. Usually all they can talk about is their next cruise with the grandchildren.

Or their trip to the casino, Danny.

#96 | POSTED BY SOHEIFOX AT 2011-12-31 11:37 AM

Plenty, really?

I doubt it.

#96 | POSTED BY SOHEIFOX AT 2011-12-31 11:37 AM

Spoken by someone trying to justify their lack of a retirement plan.

SUCKER

POSTED BY LIVE_OR_DIE AT 02:13 PM |

You are afraid of turning thirty? You soundlike a fucking pussy.

Grace Slick was indeed The Man. I saw Jefferson Airplane in about 1970 in Cincinnati. She wore a gorgeous Native American dress, looked like an angel, cussed like a sailor. When the management of the Cincinnati Gardens refused to turn-off the house lights, she read the riot act to those in charge, it was great! I wish I could remember exactly what she said, but I'm 62.

30?

Fuck you!

Happy Birthday Captain Fencesitter. There ain't a lot of room up here, so don't get too drunk and lose your balance.

You don't feel old until you have your second child. I feel like I've gone from 34 to 54 in about 3 months.

"Really? I've met plenty of folks who believe they've wasted their lives pursuing and packing away money"

The next retiree I meet with that belief will be my first. Usually all they can talk about is their next cruise with the grandchildren.

#97 | Posted by Danforth at 2011-12-31 11:42 AM | Reply

Dan, every once in awhile you get one right. The smartest thing a 30 year old can do is to start to realize there's good odds they'll be 65 some day and that it'll be harder to roll out of bed to go to work. Starting your retirement in your 20s shows a ton of wisdom since there's a little thing called compounding that's in your favor. I haven't "pursued" money but it seems it's "pursued" me. I have packed it away and will not regret it since it allows you tremendous flexibility and time management. Noone manages my time; I manage my own time----that to me is one of the greatest gifts in the world.

"Dan, every once in awhile you get one right."

Yeah...I'm like a broken permanent calendar that way.

"I have packed it away and will not regret it since it allows you tremendous flexibility and time management."

Chris Rock has a great line (and I'm paraphrasing): "The great thing about being rich ain't having money, it's having options."

Thank you all for the birthday greetings. I have been hammered for the last 24 hours and plan to stay that way through the new year.

Good luck Retort, in 2012. May the arguments grow ever more bitter, and `the asses ever hurt.

Danforth, you'll be happy to know I have been investing in my retirement for a little more than a year now, putting away some hundreds every month, and this is on top of the retirement package my job offers.

I will be retiring filthy fucking rich as a thousandare. =)

You're supposed to get smarter with experience. Many of us are making a fortune explaining business basics to others in various states of need.

In your case, don't count on it. I've read your posts. Good luck.

I have been hammered for the last 24 hours and plan to stay that way through the new year.

#106 | Posted by LIVE_OR_DIE

Piker.

You don't feel old until you have your second child. I feel like I've gone from 34 to 54 in about 3 months.

#103 | Posted by IraqiBukkake

When that third child arrives and you and the missus find yourselves playing zone instead on one-on-one, you'll feel even older.

You are afraid of turning thirty? You soundlike a fucking pussy.

#101 | Posted by glasshouse

Indeed. Somewhere around 36-38 is where the real bitch kicks in. Ask a pro athlete.

herm, 81 and a half

#73 | Posted by herm

And still 100% mangina.

You don't know shit until you've been married for 10 years and your kid is in grade school. Then you realize you're fucked, but loving it.

#56 Fuck your yard monkey friend. Save a bunch of money and start hitting the country club for a couple hours on M-W-F.

Worst birthday I had was when I turned 38.

Couldn't say I was in my mid-thirties any more.

Rest of them were a piece of cake.

Asked my brother once (8 years older) when he actually felt that he was all grown up and wise as our father. He said he'd let me know when it happened. That was probably twenty years ago, hasn't happened yet.

Turning 30 is not that big of a deal. One's awareness of one's mortality (barring the passing of close friends or loved ones from time to time, especially if they die young) typically kicks in around 40 or 50. Cycle of life:

Teens - governed by raging hormones
20's/30's - typically follow the heart
40's/50's - the head normally prevails with reason and rationality
post 50's - the excretory system takes over and pretty much rules

30 isn't even middle aged yet, ya young whippersnapper!

Trick to getting older is to always keep an onion tired firmly to yer belt in order to let everyone know yer still hip to modern fashion trends.

Now get the fark offa Spud's lawn.

Kid's these days. Yeesh.

Be Well.

/Also, Happeh Birfday.

"Danforth, you'll be happy to know I have been investing in my retirement for a little more than a year now, putting away some hundreds every month, and this is on top of the retirement package my job offers."

Excellent. Slow and steady wins the race, but starting young trumps all.

"Worst birthday I had was when I turned 38. Couldn't say I was in my mid-thirties any more."

My father was a very humble man, except when it came to his age. He was baby-faced, and looked much younger, to the point where he forbade us kids from announcing our ages around his friends. Once, when he was 76, I overheard someone ask him how old he was. Here's how he answered:

"Well, I'll tell you this: I'm closer to 60 than I am to 50."

It was the truth!

Happy birthday, LOD! And 30 is nothing, plenty more to come.

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school.
And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow.
Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth.
And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part.
The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound.
Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

Don't feel bad, Tosser's goat is over 30, and still a very attracive healthy part of the family.

Live_or_Die: At 30, I'm basically over the hill. My best years are behind me. How do the rest of you deal with it? Seriously, 30, practically ancient. As an old fucker at least I'll fit in better at the Retort. This place is like an Internet retirement home.

Posted by LIVE_OR_DIE

You still have a long way to go before you'll be fitting in... HA HA HA!!