Matt. 7:6
#1 | Posted by vernon
After resuming semiconsciousness, Vermin used a trowel to unglue his fat face from the linoleum floor in his hootch, latched onto what was left of the Bible he's tossed next to the table full of empty and near-empty booze bottles the night before, and flipped through its pages -- except for the ones he'd already torn out and used for other purposes -- until he found a passage that suited his immediate need and purpose. Closing his eyes, he pretended -- lying to himself and believing the lie -- to pick out a verse at random with his stubby thumb: Matthew 7:6, ""Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces."
Verm believed dowsing with pipecleaners and heavy-duty biblical interpretation to be his strong suits, so, not surprisingly, his take on the passage ran something like this: "Cast pearls before swine and they shall be yours to do with as you like."
After making up the sleeping bag in corner of the hootch -- the corner where carboard concaled the hole in the tarpaper Vermin bored one night while undergoing what he thought at the time to be The Rapture, placing a single M&M on the pillow next to his, and showering the stinking mess with the contents of a bottle of Shalimar, he waddled outside, tossing imitation pearls from a strand he'd stolen from a schoolgirl he'd mugged, muttering, his eyes ablaze with untapped desire as the potbellied feral piglets looked on curiously, "Here, piggy, here, piggy, here, little piggy wiggy..."
