Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhawwwwww
wwwwwwwwww

Erin go bragh!

Drunk me I'm Irsish!!

There is a headline in the back page about Greens stealing More or something like that. Does that refer to enviromentalists or the Irish?

Martians

I'm going to show one of the Office Girls me shalalie.

-me shalalie

Green, is it?

This ethic of self-reliance combined with a commitment to the brotherly care for those in need appears threatened in a much greater way today than when this Index first appeared in 2002: This year marks the first year that the Index contains significant retirements by baby boomers. Over the next 25 years, more than 75 million boomers will begin collecting Social Security checks, drawing down Medicare benefits, and relying on long-term care under Medicaid. No event will financially challenge these important programs over the next two decades more than this shift of the largest generation ever into retirement.

It is not only financial tests that these programs will face. Certainly, these will be great over the next several decades, given that none of these "entitlement" programs can easily meet their financial obligations even now. Doubling the number of people in retirement will constitute a massive growth of the dependent population of the United States and a potentially ruinous drain on federal government finances. Perhaps the most important aspect of the boomer retirement is its dramatic reminder to us of the rapid growth of government dependency in the United States.

healthcare for another 45 million and for 75 million boomers, yeah we are fucked

Green, is it?

#7 | Posted by Corky

That reminds me. I've got to pick up a St. Patty's day Trojan.

Rush LImbaugh says that Obama lies about everything related to Health Care. He just challenged any Obama supporter to call in say something that Obama has said about Health Care that is true.

1-800-282-2882.

Have at it people.

This will be fun.

I hear crickets

#12 is what Obama supporters will be able to say Obama todl the truth about as it relates to HC.

Like anyone to the left of Ghengis Khan would make it onto FatAss The Radio Clown's prefab Foxnews gabfest.

National Broadband plan = the Federal Censorchip Commission censoring the Internet.

Move to Eastern Slovakia if you want better broadband than the USA.

LetUsPrey

Believe it or not, when LIberals call in and they have something interesting and stimulating to say they get time.

AND ANOTHER billboard in MINN..

"remember REAL hope and change..

and to the right is a pic of reagan..

are you getting the idea that with this one and the bush sign and MINN is trying to apologize for sending al franken to the senate?

Capitol Phone lines jammed again. The bastards inside can't make phone calls outside.

My apologies to bastards everywhere for comparing you with the scum that is our congress.

My apologies to scum too.

How the hell is Joe Biden going to make reservations at Katie's?

Yeah for Texas! Just love dem big old shiny buckles and them fancy shitkickers!

You know you are in Texas when the birds use potholders to pull the worms outa the ground and the trees actually whistle for the dogs.

Iraq's Nouri Maliki in tight race with rival Allawi

Latest results from Iraq's election show a tight race emerging between incumbent PM Nouri Maliki and main rival Iyad Allawi.

You know you are in Texas when the best parking place is determined by shade and not distance.

You know you are in Texas when hot water comes out of BOTH taps!

Today's Texas jokes brought you in honor of the joke from Texas...Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tex.) who today declared with a straight face that "demons" have invaded the nation's capital.

ERIN GO BRAGHLESS!

You know you are in Texas when you can make Sun Tea Instantly!

#26 - 'tis true:

deem and pass = DEMON'S PATH

You know you are in Texas when you learn that your seat belt buckle makes a pretty decent branding iron!

0 upside down in latest Gallup:

You know you are in Texas when the temps dip below 95 and it makes you feel a little "chilly".

you know you are in Texas when the farmers feed their chickens crushed ice so they don't lay boiled eggs.

You know your in Texas if they laugh when you ask to see the basement of the Alamo.

You know you are in Texas when the heat comes round and busts people for smiling on a cloudy day.

You know your in Texas when you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

Nanc beat me to it
But anyway....

I knew it was just a matter of time

NOW it's official even for you lefttards.

ERIN GO BRAGHLESS!

#27 | Posted by nanc

Lawls! ^_^

FF fer Nanc's titillating postage there!

Spud hoists a mug of green beer in Nanc's general direction.

"May you be half an hour in heaven before the Devil knows you're dead"

Be Well.

Spud reminds me to honor the day!

so a Texan and Irish joke!

A Texan rancher comes to Ireland and meets a Kerry farmer.
The Texan says : "Takes me a whole day to drive from one side of my ranch to the other."
The Kerry farmer says: "Ah sure, I know, sir. We have tractors like that over here too."

that one sucked so here is a better one...

An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!!!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

Backatcha Colcannon Spudley!

"An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth."

A Classic:

The luck of the Irish. Sure. Let's say you're in a pub somewhere in Ireland, oh, anywhere in Ireland, some guy comes up to you and says, "Hey is that a bomb on you I hear ticking?" And then BAM!!! Your small intestines are on the ceiling and your brains are on your car across the street. That's the luck of the Irish for ya, who's kidding who, okay?
Let's talk about the bad luck of the Irish, all right? How about this, POTATO FAMINE!! How about that? It scares them, doesn't it? Well, it should. That's why they came here in the first place. So they wouldn't have to work in the potato fields. That's why they became politicians, priests, and cops. Luck? Gimme a break.

John Belushi

Jonathan Swift
"May you live all the days of your life."

Nanc, do you have any Irish in you?

O.T. - Steven Wright
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"

For you, Kanrei!

I poured some spot remover on my dog and I haven't seen him in weeks- Steven Wright

#44 - reminds me of my father asking a waitress, "Do you have any Sioux in you?"

HA!

do you have any Irish in you?

Must...resist...

Would you like one?

"Bought some batteries...but they weren't included."

Wright

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."

Ellen Degeneres

I have a lifesize map of the United States. The key says "One mile= one mile. It takes forever to fold.- Steven Wright

f you had the luck of the Irish
You'd be sorry and wish you were dead
You should have the luck of the Irish
And you'd wish you was English instead!

A thousand years of torture and hunger
Drove the people away from their land
A land full of beauty and wonder
Was raped by the British brigands! Goddamn! Goddamn!

If you could keep voices like flowers
There'd be shamrock all over the world
If you could drink dreams like Irish streams
Then the world would be high as the mountain of morn

In the 'Pool they told us the story
How the English divided the land
Of the pain, the death and the glory
And the poets of auld Eireland

If we could make chains with the morning dew
The world would be like Galway Bay
Let's walk over rainbows like leprechauns
The world would be one big Blarney stone

Why the hell are the English there anyway?
As they kill with God on their side
Blame it all on the kids the IRA
As the bastards commit genocide! Aye! Aye! Genocide!

If you had the luck of the Irish
You'd be sorry and wish you was dead
You should have the luck of the Irish
And you'd wish you was English instead!
Yes you'd wish you was English instead!

John & Yoko

Oranges float, so when I am on a boat, if it sinks, I will reach for an orange instead of a life jacket. I will tell people I was "saved by the buoyancy of citrus."- Mitch Hedberg

so can anyone on here explain how obama could be upside down in the gallup poll if america wants healthcare.

"When I was eight, my family moved to downtown Downer's Grove, Illinois...when I was eleven I found them."

Emo Philips

#44 - reminds me of my father asking a waitress, "Do you have any Sioux in you?"

HA!

#47 | Posted by nanc

Well done.

ok so I ragged on Texas so I owe em one...

Here and God Bless Texas!

A large group of Taliban soldiers were moving along a road when they hear a voice call out from behind a nearby sand dune. "One Texan is better than ten Taliban!"

So the Taliban commander quickly send 10 of his best men over to investigate whereupon a gun battle breaks out continues for a few minutes followed by silence.

Then the voice calls out, "One Texan is better than 100 Taliban!" Furious now the commander sends 100 of his best men over the dune to investigate whereupon a huge gunfight commences. After ten minutes of battle silence once again.

The Texas voice calls out again, "One Texan is better than one thousand Taliban!"

Enraged now the commander sends the rest of his men, one thousand fighters scramble over the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge gun battle ensues. Then silence once again. Then finally one wounded and bleeding Taliban fighter comes crawling back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, it's a trap! There is actually two of them."

Emo Phillips was great!

I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks.

"I was in a casino, minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move. You're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. Unless you're a table."

Mitch Hedberg

Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.

The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Genie's eye FOOM! the oceans were teaming with fish.

The Englishman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye POOF! there was a huge wall around England.

The Irishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."

The Irishman says, "Fill it up with water."

Don't forget snowjobama on Brett Baier this afternoon at 3:00 p.m. EST. Hope you got your questions in.

I was at the mall and the escalator had a sign saying it was out of order. An escalator can never be out of order because then it is called stairs- Mitch Hedberg

so can anyone on here explain how obama could be upside down in the gallup poll if america wants healthcare.

It hasn't passed fast enough?

Xylophone starts with an X, but is pronounced like a Z. When they made the alphabet, they realized X did not have very much to do, so they said "don't worry, you will mark the spot, and stand for hugs and kisses, and make Christmas easier to spell.- Mitch Hedberg

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."

Mitch Hedberg

It is a little-known fact that before becoming a singer, Bing Crosby ran a boarding school for boys in San Antonio, Texas. One of the boys who lived in the dorm was in the habit of taking off on Friday afternoons, going to Mexico, and getting drunk. But he kept his studies up during the week, and because his parents were wealthy and important trustees, the school took no action against him. However, one Friday afternoon he got together with a day student, and they both disappeared. The parents of the day student were concerned when their son didn't come home, so they called Bing Crosby to ask after him. Bing Crosby said, "Don't worry. Your son is soused with the boarder, down Mexico way."

#66 I love that one =D

FF #61!!

A young Irish girl goes into her Irish priest on Saturday morning for confession.
"Irish father, forgive me for I have Thinned."
"You've Thinned?"
"Yes, I went out with me boyfriend Friday night. He held me hand twice, kissed me three times, and made love to me two times."
"Daughter! I want you to go straight home, squeeze seven lemons into a glass, and drink it straight down."
"Will that wash away me Thin?"
"No, but it will get the silly smile off your face."

"What's the difference between an Irish Wedding and an Irish Wake?"

"One less drunk"

^_^

Be Well.

An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!!!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn....

He promptly called the local police station.

"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk,..."Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!"

Father O'Malley replied: "Aye, tis certainly true, .....but we are also
obliged to notify the next of kin."

What's the real difference between a Yankee Zoo and a Texas Zoo?

On the cage, a Yankee Zoo will have the name of the animal and then the scientific name in Latin.

Whereas, a Texas Zoo will have the name of the animal and the recipe.....!

Most cities have juvenile delinquents, but in Washington DC they just call them the "Young Republicans." - Bob Hope

I see where the Texas Department of Corrections has instituted some innovative programs to change the behavior of prisoners. Down in the state prison in Huntsville they've been very successful in treating sex offenders. What they do is this: they give the prisoners pictures of Arkansas women and that cures them of all sexual desires.

#74 - FF!

A Texan's Guide to Life
Don't squat with your spurs on.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacca.
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

When LBJ died and went to heaven he refused to go through the pearly gates until the boss came out and answered a question.... The boss comes out. LBJ says: "I want to know one thing, and I want to know it right now. Why wasn't Jesus Christ born a Texan? The world would have been a much better place if Jesus Christ had been a Texan. God said (try this with a yiddish accent): "Lyndon, Lyndon, Lyndon. What can I tell you? Texas was our first choice. But we couldn't find three wise men or a virgin!"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE RUBBER BAND!:

The owner of a golf course in Texas was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into office and said, ''You graduated from University of Texas and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" "Everything but my earrings."

A Texas State trooper pulled over an old dusty pickup driven by a cowhand from a nearby ranch as he headed east on I-10. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The cowboy replied, "Bout' whut?"

A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub. They each buy a pint of Guiness beer.
Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.

The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!!"

Why did the chicken cross the road?

(To prove to the armadillo it could be done.)

True one:

-- Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower when told that Texas Governor Bill Clements had been studying Spanish: "Oh good. Now he'll be bi-ignorant."

How can you tell if a Texas cowboy is married?

There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.

"My fake plants died because I forgot to pretend to water them."

Mitch Hedberg

In a small Texas town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled thru some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar."

A boy asks his dad to explain the difference between theoretical and actual. His father tells him to first as his mother if she would have sex with the neighbor for $1,000,000.

The boy goes and comes back and tells his dad that mommy said yes, so what is the difference between theoretical and actual. The fathers tells the boy to go ask his sister the same question.

The boy goes and comes back and tells his dad that sister would too, so what is the difference between theoretical and actual.

The father says "well son, theoretically we have $2 million, but actually we are living with a couple of whores."

Sister Brigid was teaching her young students one day and she asked each of them what they would like to be when they grew up. She came to a little girl who responded, "When I grow up I want to be a prostitute."

Shocked, good Sister Brigid fainted on the spot. Her students rushed to revive her. When she came around, Sister asked the little girl, "What did you say you wanted to be when you grew up?" The little girl replied, "A prostitute."

"Oh thank goodness," the relieved nun replied "I thought you said a Protestant."

Young O'Donnell rushed into a church, placed his rifle under a pew and entered the confessional. "Father," he said breathlessly, "I've just shot down two British lieutenants!"

Hearing no response he went on: "I also knocked off a British captain!"

When there was still no response from the priest, O'Donnell said, "Father, have ye fainted?"

"Of course I haven't fainted," replied the confessor. "I'm waitin' for you to stop talkin' politics and commence confessin' your sins!"

An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?"
The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."

So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.

The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."

The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.

The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.

The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."

The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine - I just quit drinking."

-: "Oh good. Now he'll be bi-ignorant."

Ya gotta love Jim Hightower.

The Irish daughter had not been home for over five
years.

Upon her return, her father cursed her heavily
saying, "Where have ye been all this time,
child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a
line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand
what ye put yer old Mother through?"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....Dad....I
became a prostitute..."

"Ye what? Out of here ye shameless harlot! Sinner!
You're a disgrace to this Catholic family!"

"OK, Dad-- As ye wish, but I just came back to give
Mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten
bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings
certificate. For me little brother, this gold
Rolex. And for ye, Daddy, the sparkling new
Mercedes Limited Edition convertible parked
outside plus a membership to the country
club...(takes a breath)... and an invitation for
ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new
yacht in the Riviera."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" asks
Dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute,
Daddy! Sniff, sniff."

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, Girl! I
thought ye said 'a Protestant.' Come here and
give yer old Dad a hug!"

A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub. They each buy a pint of Guiness beer.

Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.

The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.

The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!!"

#95 roflmfao!

Oops, too similar to #92.

Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over.
"What's wrong, Seamus?" Paddy asked.

"Well didn't ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said Seamus.

"Ah, praise The Almighty!" Paddy replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

In Ada OK ...

If you wear New York Jets clothing, you may be put in jail.

Sheesh, too similar to #91.

In Clinton OK Molesting an automobile is illegal.

Whaling is illegal in Oklahoma.

Zat,

Just "Clinton OK Molesting" is a joke on its own really =D

The point being, if yer rememberin' the previous jokes, sure and yer not drinkin' enough!

In California, No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

@KANREI,

Does it involve a cigar?

and yer not drinkin' enough!

Will smoking green count for those who don't drink?

You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows. Blythe, California.

In New Mexico state officials ordered 400 words of "sexually explicit material" to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.

The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."

"Of Course," replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"

"Dublin," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."

"Of course," replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"

"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.

"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

Be Well.

Does it involve a cigar?

A fat Jewish one.

AND, as a Jew, I can tell you we still have issue with Bill Clinton for that. How in the Hell did he actually get a Jewish woman to do those things? Why do you think we love schikzas so much?

In Carrizozo NM it's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.

Q: How do you get a U. of Utah grad off your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Can't let Spud get away free ...

Top 10 Reasons To Live in British Columbia, Canada
1.Weed
2.Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges
3.The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder
4.The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar
5.Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown
6.A university with a nude beach
7.You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations
8.If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash
9.There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on
10.Cannabis

In Kenosha WI no male is allowed to be in a state of arousal in public.

In WI whenever two trains meet at an intersection of said tracks, neither shall proceed until the other has.

Why are there so many tree lined streets and leafy lanes in France?

Germans like to march in the shade.

Heard about the new German-Chinese restaurant? The food is great, but an hour later, you're hungry for power.

Q: Have you heard about the new German microwave ?

A: It's got ten seats inside.

When Stalin was in office, he once noted that there were mice in his study and complained to President Kalinin about this. The President thought for a moment and suggested, "Why don't you put up a sign reading 'Collective Farm'? Half the mice will die of hunger and the other half will run away."

A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No way! They have no clothes and no shelter," the Russian points out, "They have only an apple to eat, and they are being told they live in a paradise. Obviously, they are Russian."

In Florida, any form of sexual contact other than missionary position is a misdemeanor. (This is still a law. There have been several cases of people being brought up on these charges in the past 5 years alone. If the police enter a home with a warrant for some other crime and catch the 'culprits' in action, they can, and are, brought up on those charges.)

No Reverse Cow-girl?

No Full Moon over Memphis?

No Bangkok Wheelbarrow?

Dang!

Be Well.

In San Antonio ...

1. It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.
2. It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.

6.A university with a nude beach

Woo Hoo!

Spud luffs that place.

Is like a massive, nekkid cocktail party.

President Obama and economists provide platitudes about recovery. But how does an economy recover when its economic leaders have spent more than a decade moving high productivity, high value-added middle class jobs offshore along with the Gross Domestic Product associated with them?

Economists and policymakers tend to blame auto management and unions for Detroit's fall. However, American manufacturing has declined across the board. Evergreen Solar recently announced that it is shifting its production of solar fabrication and assembly from Massachusetts to China. A U.S. Department of Commerce study of the precision machine tool industry has found that the U.S. comes in last.

The financial economy which was to replace the industrial economy is nowhere in sight. The U.S. has only 5 banks in the world's top 50 by size of assets. The largest U.S. bank, JPMorgan Chase ranks seventh. Germany has 7 banks in the top 50, and the United Kingdom and France each have 6. Japan and China each have 5 banks in the top 50, and together the small countries of Switzerland and the Netherlands have six with combined assets $1.185 trillion more than the 5 largest U.S. banks.

Moreover, after the derivative fraud perpetrated on the world's banks by the U.S. investment banks, there is no prospect of any country trusting American financial leadership.

The American economic and political leadership has used its power to serve its own interests at the expense of the American people and their economic prospects. By enriching themselves in the short-run, they have driven the U.S. economy into the ground. The U.S. is on a path to becoming a Third World economy.

Excerpted from Paul Craig Roberts @ Counterpunch

A man walks into a pub with an ostrich and a pussy cat. He goes up the bar and says: "Beer for me, beer for the ostrich, whisky for the cat."
The unlikely trio find a table, sit down and drink their drinks. Next, it's the ostrich's round. He walks up to the bar and says: "Beer for me, beer for the man, whisky for the cat." Then the ostrich takes the drinks back to the table and they drink them. When it comes to the cat's turn to buy a round, he simply tells his pals to "Sod off!"
So the man goes back to the bar and asks for another two beers and a whisky.
Impressed at his generosity, the barman says: "I notice that you and the ostrich have both bought a round but the cat hasn't. Why do you hang out with him?"
The man replies: "I once helped a little old lady across the road, and she turned out to be my Fairy Godmother. She granted me one wish, which landed me with the cat and the ostrich forever."
"What did you wish for?" enquires the barman.

"A long-legged bird with a tight pussy"

It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.*

*See Ozzy in a wedding dress in 1983.

The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

"Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Sarkozy replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Sarkozy paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Sarkozy asks.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Sarkozy sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!"

Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

"Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Sarkozy. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and we decided there is no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.

Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp.

Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished.

Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!

If Geithner and Bernanke didn't know what was going on at Lehman, that's bad. If they knew, that's worse. Either way, you've got to wonder why they still have a job. The alternative is that it was all part of a deliberate big nasty scam, which transferred huge amounts of wealth from taxpayers to the very banks that created the crisis.

President Obama has broken with his preacher, his green jobs guru, and his social secretary. If she can get the boot for letting strangers into a feast, surely Bernanke and Geithner should get at least that for covering up for the banks that ate up our whole economy? Geithner and Bernanke really belong in the clink. Or does Obama only get tough with homies?

Excerpted from Laura Flanders @ Counterpunch

The following users are currently suspended from posting:

SpokaneJim, themaniscoming, Jak_Se_Mao, reinsurelaw, Rob_The_A_Hole, Tosser, Washboard.

You can always tell when the Dems are about to finally accomplish something....

the natives get restless.

"SpokaneJim, themaniscoming, Jak_Se_Mao, reinsurelaw, Rob_The_A_Hole, Tosser, Washboard. "

A Drudge rtard Hall of Shame.

If the health care reform bill passes, who is mostly likely to die of a massive coronary on the spot?

a) JeffJ
b) Murphy
c) AFKbabble

?

If the health care reform bill passes, who is mostly likely to die of a massive coronary on the spot?

a) JeffJ
b) Murphy
c) AFKbabble
...
#134 | Posted by mOntecOre

Well, let's consider. AFK doesn't really know what's going on, anyway, so rule him out. Murphy's an airhead, and will get hysterical, but JeffJ, who sounds kind of, er, large, given his love for bbq and liquor, would be the best bet.

But you left out Psycho Mao, who is already on the edge of insanity. That would be my pick.

If the health care reform bill passes, who is mostly likely to die of a massive coronary on the spot?

a) JeffJ
b) Murphy
c) AFKbabble
...
#134 | Posted by mOntecOre

Well, let's consider. AFK doesn't really know what's going on, anyway, so rule him out. Murphy's an airhead, and will get hysterical, but JeffJ, who sounds kind of, er, large, given his love for bbq and liquor, would be the best bet.

But you left out Psycho Mao, who is already on the edge of insanity. That would be my pick.

RCADE,

Can't navigate to my user page by typing in www.drudge.com/user/
live_or_die

Sends me directly to the front page.

What's up?

Whoa, got an error that said I didn't make a comment, then it came up any way.

If the health care reform bill passes, who is mostly likely to die of a massive coronary on the spot?

I'm considering getting an appointment from a few health insurance companies and start making some extra $$$$$.

I'll start with some of those 30 million uninsured and do my part to help this bill acheive success.

LOL

you'll notice I'm not having the problem with the extra posts.

when the computer tells me I fucked up....I know it's wrong.

I didn't put you on the list, Ebs, cause I figured that since the bill has become a pork-fest for insurers, you'll make money if it passes.

RCADE,

Can't navigate to my user page by typing in www.drudge.com/user/
live_or_die

Sends me directly to the front page.

What's up?

#137 | Posted by LIVE_OR_DIE at 2010-03-17 05:39 PM

Same problem here. I click on my name and -- POW -- I'm right back to the Front Page.

I>RCADE,

Can't navigate to my user page by typing in www.drudge.com/user/
live_or_die

Sends me directly to the front page.

What's up?

#137 | Posted by LIVE_OR_DIE at 2010-03-17 05:39 PM

Same problem here. I click on my name and -- POW -- I'm right back to the Front Page again.

I>RCADE,

Can't navigate to my user page by typing in www.drudge.com/user/
live_or_die

Sends me directly to the front page.

What's up?

#137 | Posted by LIVE_OR_DIE at 2010-03-17 05:39 PM

Same problem here. I click on my name and -- POW -- I'm right back to the Front Page.

The user page bug should be fixed. Let me know if any other pages load weird (or don't load at all).

Test comment.

Rcade,

Just checked my username. It's fixed.

Ended up with three unintentional posts of the same comment. They didn't register so kept trying to post it. Then when the bug got fixed all three posts showed up.

Rcade,

Just checked it again. It's fixed (unless this one posts twice in a row!)

Ended up with three unintentional posts of the same comment. They didn't register so kept trying to post it. Then when the bug got fixed all three posts showed up.

Test comment.

Motherfucker.

Oh, forget it. I'll just wait until somebody can step on that bug.

Shit.

Test comment

McConnell - Boehner

Test comment

Cocksucking Cunt

(nope, still 'no comment' coming up)

The GOP have demonized this site.

(the previous was only a test comment, not a commentary)

Not fixed yet. Same "You have not posted a comment"...

Cocky doody.

It should work now. Why did I take up programming when I had such a lucrative career ahead of me in plus-size male exotic dance?

test 2

fixed!

"Why did I take up programming when I had such a lucrative career ahead of me in plus-size male exotic dance?" - RCade

Because of the hours.

test (last post it returned me to a blank post/publish)

OK that time

-plus-size male exotic dance?

If you are still here check out this news....

#74 Posted by Zatoichi

FF!

My wife has friend whose husband is half Irish and half Jewish.

She married him because she wanted a man who could think and drink.

#166 | Posted by silver_ironist

Hear about the Irish priest and the Rabbi on a cross country flight?

Over Colorado, the Irish priests turns to the Rabbi and asks, "ya know, Rabbi, being a man of the cloth as I am, of course this would never go beyond the two of us. That said, I have to ask ... have you ever eaten pork?"

The Rabbi sighed deeply and answered, "Ah, there was one time, but it was long before I was a Rabbi and I've never done it again."

A couple minutes later the Rabbi turns to the priest.

"Well, now you have me curious. You've taken a vow of celibacy. Have you ever had sex?"

The Irish priest sighed deeply with eyes closed, "Ah, yes. There was one time, but it was long before I was a priest and I've never done it again", he answered.

"Bet it beat the hell out of a ham sandwich!" replied the Rabbi.

Did you hear about the new Jewish-Japanese restaurant - they named it Sosumi.