Drudge Retort: Red Meat for Yellow Dogs
Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Father Gabriele Amorth, 85, the Vatican's chief exorcist for 25 years, said that "the Devil is at work inside the Vatican." Amorth said, "When one speaks of 'the smoke of Satan' in the holy rooms, it is all true -- including these latest stories of violence and paedophilia."

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Finally...

...an issue both the Left and the Right can agree on!

Vatican II was a mistake.

He was among Vatican officials who warned that J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter novels made a "false distinction between black and white magic".

He is the president of honour of the Association of Exorcists. I bet the conventions are a hoot. Is Jindu the Hindu a member too?

In a related story......

Osama Bin Laden released a new video tape today in regard to the Devil in the Vatican Story in the World news lately.

Experts are examining the video to determine if the flying Satan in the Video is real or not...

The Video depicts Satan hovering above the Vatican Jabbing the pope in the Buttocks with a pitchfork...

One CIA Official who wished to remain anonymous due to the sensitive nature of the film stated "Well... I have seen the video and don't think it's real. Satan is not red and he doesn't really have horns and a pitchfork... Probably some sort of video editing software was used..."

In a further related story...

Incensed at the flack he took for depicting Mohammed in a negative way, the famous cartoonist living in Holland released a new cartoon today after seeing the Bin Laden Video last night of Mohammed with Bin Laden's head rammed up his ass.

70,000 cases? wow. you'd think there would be some real objective evidence then.

He said it sometimes took six or seven of his assistants to to hold down a possessed person. Those possessed often yelled and screamed and spat out nails or pieces of glass, which he kept in a bag. "Anything can come out of their mouths finger-length pieces of iron, but also rose petals."

Scientists would be very interested in those objects.

If they really existed.

The Pope, who wears a fabulous vintage chiffon-lined Dior gold lame gown over a silk Vera Wang empire waist tulle cocktail dress, accessorized with a three-foot beaded peaked House of Whoville hat, and the ruby slippers Judy Garland wore in the Wizard of Oz is worried that Father Gabriele Amorth might make the Roman Catholic Church look foolish.

Another big news story of year concerned the ecumenical council in Rome, known as Vatican II.

Among the things they did in an attempt to make the church more...commercial...was to introduce the vernacular into portions of the mass, to replace Latin, and to widen somewhat the range of music permissible in the liturgy.

But I feel that if they really want to sell the product, in this secular age, what they ought to do is to redo some of the liturgical music in popular song forms.

I have a modest example here. It's called The Vatican Rag.

First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Do whatever steps you want, if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff.
Everybody say his own Kyrie eleison,
Doin' the Vatican Rag.

Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional,
There, the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original.

If it is, try playin' it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!

So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Make a cross on your abdomen,
When in Rome do like a Roman,
Ave Maria,
Gee it's good to see ya,
Gettin' ecstatic an'
Sorta dramatic an'
Doin' the Vatican Rag!

Tom Lehrer

"The Pope, who wears a fabulous vintage chiffon-lined Dior gold lame gown..."

Religions, and Catholicism as much as any of them, just leaves one in awe with their goofy costumes and goofy ceremonies and ornate temples.

are some of the exorcism and pedophilia cases the same?

Tom Lehrer

#7 | Posted by Ron_Karate at 2010-03-10 07:07 PM | Reply | Flag:

Wasn't the name of the album 'The Year That Was'???

after 8 years in the White House, I am glad he has found a new residence.

If I was the devil, I would have stuck with Linda Blair. Even now she's a lot better looking that the Nazi

Goat,

Linda Blair has a rack that just won't quit!

The Excorcist is a great movie by almost any measure. The only failing IMO was Regan under possession jamming a crucifix into her vagina and chanting "Let Jesus fuck me!"

It was extreme for the sake of being extreme - it did nothing to enhance the movie other than being 'on-the-edge'.

Outside of that - a very well put-together movie that has stood the test of time.

are some of the exorcism and pedophilia cases the same?

Exorcism is a priest pushing the devil out. The priest pulls himself out in pedophilia.

Yes, and his official title is Pope.

Exorcist: Devil at Work Inside Vatican

Most people with working brains have known this for over a thousand years.....

Tell us something NEW Sparky.

The pope does not wear ruby slippers. He wears Prada.

"Exorcist: Devil at Work Inside Vatican"

Careful, Father.

Because you're absolutely right, and his name is Benedict XVI.

"Father Gabriele Amorth, 85, who has been the Vatican's chief exorcist for 25 years and says he has dealt with 70,000"

ummmm... I think the math on that is 9.5 exorcisms per day for 25 years straight no days off. busy man or completely delusional.

Even if he was practicing for 25 years prior, that still a high number.

god... I hate religion!!

When the pope dies there are a few short days on Earth when no man is recognized as god's chosen spokesman. In that limbo we keep spinning around the sun at the same speed; people kill and love and betray and honor one another same as it ever was. I long for the time when those few days last in perpetuity. Only then will the Vatican exorcise all its' devils.

He's awfully fat for being an exorcist

We must exercise the demons..

..and left right left

Silly people with silly costumes feeling important.

My birthday lands on Easter this year! We are throwing a Jesus party and I am going to show up in robes and a thorn crown...lol

What happens if you pay an exorcist to rid yer body of evil spirits and then pay him with a bad cheque?

Do you get re-possessed?

/Yes, feeling really bad about that one! ^_^

Be Well.

Do you get re-possessed?

Only if you put up your car as collateral.

Exorcist trivia question: Who said this?

"The bed is on my foot!"
"The bed is on my foot!"

I seem to recall that Rcade guessed the name of the new Pope because of the prediction that he would be the Pope before the Anti-Christ assumed control of the Vatican. I am not that well versed in this however, and would love to be educated/corrected.

Exorcist: Devil at Work Inside Vatican

This oughtta make some heads spin.

Head Spin

Northguy and Spud:

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so tempted to chime in with a little piece of Vatican Bashing and assignment of Moronarchy but the vatican does a good job of doing it all by themselves.

This is what a religion looks like when it's dying on the vine: They look for reasons, find none because their whole paradigm is based on fraud, so the begin to eat each other.

Let the internal witch hunt begin! Rejoice!

"The bed is on my foot!"

Richard Pryor skit on SNL.

I got baked and went to see The Exorcist.

Spent most of the movie laughing hilariously.

The rest of the audience thought I was the demon.

"My mother always told me you have to confront the devil to overcome him. (Evil Roar) I mom was a damn idiot!"- Benson

That's where the EIB studios are located?

Isn't it the FIB studios? Flatulence in Broadcasting?

Isn't it the FIB studios? Flatulence in Broadcasting?

It certainly fits in with the old joke:

Q What is the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg?

A One is a flaming gasbag and the other burned up in Lakehurst Hew Jersey in 1937

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