Well that is why we have all sorts of words aside from "sex" to describe sexual acts. If your father tells you that mom gave him a blumpkin, you know exactly what it means. No guessing is necessary.

I would say "sex" is the physical act of....hmm, this is actually tough. Sex is intercourse of some description, be it vaginal, anal, or oral. Wait, then a hand job would not count as sex and I am willing to bet it does. Hmm....not sure how to phrase it. I will paraphrase the great Supreme court definition of pornography: I don't know what it is, but I know it when I have it.

We had to tell one of my sons about the birds and bees this weekend. Thirty minutes later he was crying. When we asked why, he responded, "it's the idea that's how I started out."

Smart kid Rcade

With our population, they seem to be faking it pretty good.

Sex is whatever act you'd just as soon your nice friends didn't know turns you on.

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman." (it was just a blowjob!)

One can't be too careful. Look at what happened last time Crackfish had sex....

For example, 11 percent would not use the phrase "had sex" if "the man did not come."

Well yea, if he stayed home, how could they have had sex?

More evidence that our progressive society has so bastardized the language that we no longer can agree on what "is" is, much less what "sex" is.

Bastardize the language, and define deviancy down. That way we can legitimize all deviancy as good and wholesome!

I wonder, does this too come from the *gay* gene?

I wonder, does this too come from the *gay* gene?

It's on the 21st chromosome. You know, the one you have three of...

"I wonder, does this too come from the *gay* gene?"

It's on the 21st chromosome. You know, the one you have three of...
#11 | Posted by ZombieHunter at 2010-03-08 04:45 PM

Holy smackdown flag - I'm stealing this one.

Does tonsil hockey ("kissing" with tongues in each others mouths) constitute sex? In my book "yea", my roommate says "nay".

its only sex if it involves cooking utensils

Take my wife... Please!

I don't know how to tell you this, but, there is also an Adam and Steve...

its only sex if it involves cooking utensils

A turkey baster?

A turkey baster?

#16 | Posted by ZombieHunter

Or an oven mitt in your case.

Or an oven mitt in your case.

Reminds me of that game I love to play with your wife... "smell the glove"

Don't worry, I used nitrile ones. Didn't know if she had a latex allergy.

Yes, the *gay* gene is definitely operative on this thread.

Why is it that homo conversation always degenerates to sex tools and phallic references....turkey basters and oven mits?

You can see *gay* all over this thread...from a mile away!

#19 | POSTED BY SABBATAI

Funny, Sab, but YOU were the first to mention the word "gay".. In fact, three times in two posts. Four, if you count "homo".

Just following the active threads TOM. I figured this one had something to do with yours and Zombies interest in the other post on the back page of DR. You two seem to flock together!

Hey TOM, WISGOD and ZOMBIE, it's been fun talkin'. But now I gotta get home to the natural wife and kids. Dinner is in the oven, and she will be using the oven mit for its intended purpose. Maybe I'll catch you fellas (said with limp wrist) tomorrow for more discussion. I am profoundly outa here!

Adults Have No Idea What Sex Is

You can see *gay* all over this thread...from a mile away!

Yet you were drawn in like a moth to candlelight... interesting.

#6 by MARYTYLERWHORE

"Sex is whatever act you'd just as soon your nice friends didn't know turns you on."

LOL . . . Now there's a truism that should be carved in stone.

Thank you, Mary. It's about time somebody said that.

"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is. If the--if he--if 'is' means is and never has been, that is not--that is one thing. If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement....Now, if someone had asked me on that day, are you having any kind of sexual relations with Ms. Lewinsky, that is, asked me a question in the present tense, I would have said no. And it would have been completely true."
william jefferson clinton

Well I knew what sex was then I got married. I have now forgotten.

I have now forgotten.

#27 | Posted by TaoWarrior

It's that thing that happens when your wife comes down in her good house robe. Her cankles sway seductively in the breeze. She's got her hair fixed just the way you like it (in a bee-hive like Aunt Bea had). She brings you a beer without even having to be slapped.

You know then, it's on.

"Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable."

- Lord Chesterfield (1694-1773)

"Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble."

- John Barrymore (1882-1942)

"Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble."

- John Barrymore (1882-1942)

Aint that the truth. Sex has more strings attached than a cell phone bill.

"Nearly 95 percent agreed that penile-vaginal intercourse is sex..."

Man, what did the remaining 5% think?

donner got close but I still cant believe any of you sumbitchs havent said this line yet

well it depends on what the definition of is...is...

I just know that the best sex I EVER had was the last time and that will be surpassed by the NEXT time..

(OH GOD when will that be???)
I mean there is only so much skin on a fellows right hand, you know..)

We had to tell one of my sons about the birds and bees this weekend. Thirty minutes later he was crying. When we asked why, he responded, "it's the idea that's how I started out."

#3 | Posted by rcade at 2010-03-08 03:43 PM |

That was pretty good rcade. I remember my dad sitting me and my two brothers down using a slide show that had silohoutte characters. I am pretty sure that was right after he discovered his Playboys missing.

#10 | Posted by Sabbatai at 2010-03-08 04:35 PM | Reply | Flag: Never had a blowjob, from a female anyway

As a married man sex is what ever my wife tells me it is.

Sex = A little bit of the old in out in out, that is what sex is.

As a married man sex is what ever my wife tells me it is.

#35 | Posted by SLBronkowitz at 2010-03-08 09:53 PM | Reply | Flag: Flag: (Choose)
FunnyNewsworthyOffensiveAbusiv
e

RE:

As a married man (+40) SEX is friggin HOT!
I plug in my iron early in the morning and get a steamy reply about 10 pm in the evening. If you aint getting what you want, It's your own fault.

god damned idiots. Sex is anything that makes you ejaculate/cum/spunk/blow the wad, whatever name you wanna call your "happy ending". Simple as that. articles like this make me weep for the comming generations.

#3 | Posted by rcade

LOL.

Meh, as long as you tell him that mullets are not heriditary he should be okay.

Be Well.

Sex is anything that makes you ejaculate/cum/spunk/blow the wad

So masturbation = sex?

"Nearly 95 percent agreed that penile-vaginal intercourse is sex..."

Man, what did the remaining 5% think?

#31 | Posted by Hagbard_Celine at 2010-03-08 08:48 PM | Reply | Flag:

Probably Conservative Virgins, since there aren't any Liberal Virgins.

"Sex is anything that makes you ejaculate/cum/spunk/blow the wad, whatever name you wanna call your "happy ending". Simple as that"

Seriously, that sounds like something emanating from the Monkey House. In my experience, sex can cover quite a bit more territory than that desirable outcome.

In my experience, sex can cover quite a bit more territory than that desirable outcome.

#42 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis

Are you Paul Reubens brother?

Man, what did the remaining 5% think?

"Are you Paul Reubens brother?"

Why, you want into Pee-Wee's Playhouse?

Why, you want into Pee-Wee's Playhouse?

#45 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis

No. You can have Cowboy Curtis all to yourself.

No. You can have Cowboy Curtis all to yourself.
#46 | Posted by wisgod

You must be a real hardcore "Pee-Wee's Playhouse" fan. (I had to google that to find out who Cowboy Curtis was.) Next time I want some insight into children's programming I'll be sure to let you know.

I should be running a Fred Astaire Dance Studio. Look how I made Doc dance!

"Look how I made Doc dance!"

Is that some dig on Doc's favorite show when he was a kid?

#49 | Posted by crispee_oc | Flag: More Input From The Children's Programming Department

Wussy, you've definitely lost your touch.
Now, pick yourself up from the floor and try some more pirouettes.
Nice tutu, though.

Shitty comeback, Doc. Just post the word "UNCLE" and I'll move on.

#52 | Posted by wisgod | Flag: The Inner Pee-Wee Bleats

Posted by Doc_Sarvis at 2010-03-09 09:50 AM | Reply | Flag: And the movie watching Pee-Wee jerks.

watching Pee-Wee jerks
#54 | Posted by wisgod

Figures

I do not find this as a surprise as most adults think that having sex is "making love". Most adults confuse love with sex, and most adults don't even know what love is, let along being able to decide what sex. is.

Fact of the matter, words don't mean anything anymore. Sex is not sex, attraction is love, and love is attraction and its made through having sex.

We are a lost culture. Soon enough we will be a lost country. Hopefully written out of history.

Sex = A little bit of the old in out in out, that is what sex is.
#36 | Posted by warwolf"

"Little Bit" is right.

Warwolf's Wife

We are a lost culture. Soon enough we will be a lost country. Hopefully written out of history.

#56 | Posted by ExpsRedemption

Look at the bright side. You're going to pay taxes and die.

I can deal with the dying part, the tax part is what I disagree with, as I will have to pay taxes to successfully die as well.

I guess when you bump uglies once a month you would forget.

I have a terriffic idea what sex is

its what IM not getting near enough of....

its what IM not getting near enough of....

#61 | Posted by afkabl2

Then maybe you should talk nicer to your hand.

Still gettin a kick outa that headline... Maybe this explains why my wife keeps saying..."Not that hole!"