Yup.

... Ouija board will leave a person's soul vulnerable to attack.

Too funny

I don't pretend to know how it works, but it actually does.

Somebody get this doofus a job at the treasury department...

What is fnord? Fnord is the missing "i" in the headline of this thread.

Pink Ouija Boards Turning Kids Into Satanists...

Wow! Just like TV!

Wow! Just like TV!

Lol... how, exactly, is TV turning kids into Satanists?

"All Christians should know, well everyone should, that it's opening up a person to attack, spiritually," he said. "Christians shouldn't use it."
Asked how the game differed from magic kits or Harry Potter-themed merchandise, Phelan replied, "The difference is that the Ouija board is actually is a portal to talk to spirits and it's hard to get people to understand that until they actually do it. I don't pretend to know how it works, but it actually does."

the Bible explicitly states "not to mess with spirits"

Really? It says "not to mess with" spirits?

Is this the New Revised Colloquial Version?

What real harm does spiritual attack do anyway?

"to make a giant Ouija board and live on it"

What a great idea! Live in the planchette. Imagine how the views would constantly changed as it glided around the board.

"Look! It's trying to tell us the name of The Anti-Christ! O....B.....A......M......"

"to make a giant Ouija board and live on it"

What a great idea! Live in the planchette. Imagine how the views would constantly changed as it glided around the board.
#11 | Posted by valis at 2010-02-06 07:28 PM

Feng Shui Mousetrap. The craziest part is that the vast cult that I then inspire would overtake the Christians nearly instantly (many converts have utilized our "paid in advance" feature, just waiting to escape their 700th Clubbing for a more decent, excuseless method of worship.. unless my Ouija decor has a grammar deficiency. Either way, Ouijatrons and Ouijafems will have equal opportunity to re-codify the entirety of The Library Of Congress, the Constitution, but most certainly of all - Bibles! Each question answered by our obviously limitless masses of undead operators brings America further under the absolute thrall of HomoCo.gov!

Deep under the Earths witless, redundant surface existence breeds my lightning invasion force gathering from Inner-Nashville to Under-Bangalore; the Earths belly swells with the un-aborted fetus of your doom. This is merely one short-term objective toward completely supplanting the corrupt dissidence elements of the existing infrastructure (ie breeders) in place of less retarded but no less insane ideas, thus altering the course of human stupidity with even a far stupider stupidity. BOOM! Gay mafia wins and we're all dead. Is that what you want? A coded Bible that's also capable of transcending it's abusers?

{FacePalm}

The bad thing about invoking the spirit world into your life via the Ouija Board is that those damn fools seem to know everything but the lottery numbers.

Who is Ouija anyway?

Isn't that name a combination of Yes/Yes in French and German?

Watched "Paranormal" one too many times.

Now, Seance Barbie, would be over the top :)

My sister and I wanted to get a Ouija board around the same time "The Exorcist" came out.

I saw the movie. No problem! LOL

Absolutely nothing that extremist Christians do or say surprise me any more.

AU

I've used the Ouija Board lots of times and so far no demons have taken over my soul. (Nor would any ever dare to, LOL)

I wouldn't recommend it for anybody who has a negative outlook on life because, subconsciously, it's one of those things that you get out what you put in.

It's funny that this thread came up. I was talking to a very angry lady yesterday who wanted to use a Ouija Board to contact her dead husband so she could give him "a kick in the ass" (her words) for leaving her without any money.

That's the kind of session I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

TWINPAC

It was the timing of "The Exorcist" and wanting the Ouija board a couple days before that discouraged my wanting one then. I still eat pea soup. LOL

ZAT

What are you trying to say?

#23 | Posted by Twinpac at 2010-02-07 10:34 AM | Reply | Flag: FF!!

(Nor would any (dark spirits) ever dare to, LOL)

Darkness is only the absence of light... I got too much light in my life for any demons (if they exist) to waste their time screwing with me. I could refer a handful of DR posters who would probably be willing hosts though. LOL

#24 | Posted by RastaCyborg at 2010-02-07 10:34 AM | Reply | Flag: irony flag for #13

13. America is in imminent peril... rotting from within.
~Jerry Falwell

I figure ol' Jer's rotten from within by now.

13. America is in imminent peril... rotting from within.
~Jerry Falwell

AU

I haven't seen a Ouija Board in years. In fact, I remember reading that they weren't sold in stores any more. Apparently, Toy's R Us is selling "pink" ones to kids . . . which probably isn't a good thing.

I've never been afraid of haints, ghosts or spirits but I've seen a couple imprints. My interest is only one of curiosity.

I've never been afraid of haints, ghosts or spirits

Me neither.

My interest is only one of curiosity.

If you're playing around, your friend's head does a 180, and she suddenly says "Dimi, my Dimi.." .... run! LOL

AU

No worries. I told her to go holler at the urn on her mantel. LOL

Just keep some pea soup handy and give as good as you get with the projectile vomiting! LOL

(And take the opportunity to change the bedsheets when she's levitating)

Stop it, AU I'm getting the impression you believe in this stuff.

Didn't you read the "real" story that prompted the movie?

The difference is like night and day.

TWIN

Just a little Ouija board/Exorcist tit for tat humor.

I recall reading the background story the movie was based on many moons ago. They could probably exorcise someone with endless loops of Debbie Boone singing "You Light Up My Life". Even demons would tire of an endless diet of it and boogie.

Absolutely nothing that extremist Christians do or say surprise me any more.

#19 | Posted by danni

dan, that would be EXTREMIST anything. By the way, when was the last time a christian hijacked an airplane and crashed it into a tall building in a large city?

Why would I need a spirit to tell me my future when I have a magic 8 ball and Chinese fortune cookies? Well, except for that one that read "HELP! I'm being held captive in a Chinese Cookie factory".

Darkness is only the absence of light...

Actually light is the absence of dark. Ever notice how a bulb gets all dark inside when it stops working? The dark is stuck in there. If you break a light bulb you let all the dark out. When you turn the light off all the just dark rushes back into the room. When the sun comes out it sucks up all the darkness.

I know this is true it says so in the bible.

Also, just a side note...the moon is a light so don't break it.

-Cranc

AU

Talk to ya' later.

I'm going to go ask my 8-Ball if Cookfish has had a heart attack digging his car out of the snow.

LOL

On Topic- Christians would be hilarious if they weren't trying to rule the world.

By the way, when was the last time a christian hijacked an airplane and crashed it into a tall building in a large city?

Christians were behind abortion clinic bombings, assassinations of abortion doctors, and Oklahoma City. Ever heard of the Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda. They're not too nice, either. And... for the grand prize... years of terrorism in Ireland was the work of Christians. That's just the 20th century, too

#38 | Posted by donnerboy

Funny !!!

By the way, when was the last time a christian hijacked an airplane and crashed it into a tall building in a large city?

Christians don't need to hijack planes you big dummy! They have their own Air Force and they have drones and missiles and even Nukes.

Christians inscribe their weapons with Bible versions to give them special powers.

A better question would be "When is the last time a Christian dropped a bomb on a tall (or any) building in a large (or any) city?"

I'm going to go ask my 8-Ball if Cookfish has had a heart attack digging his car out of the snow.

I shook my newer model: "Don't bet on it"

Then I shook my monitor while at the NIH page on mixing Percocet and Alcohol: "Yes, in due time"

"I don't pretend to know how it works, but it actually does."

Al Gore? Al Gore? Is that you?

Then I shook my monitor while at the NIH page on mixing Percocet and Alcohol: "Yes, in due time"

FF

I use to play with one as a kid. My older sisters thought they were for real. I don't think I ever told them that I cheated all the time and they never did figure that out. It was the only way the were fun at all. They probably still think they work.

Au contraire, Christians are trying to save the world. Other than following the instructions of their Leader, why would they bother? The world as we know it, is in such wonderful shape without Jesus, isn't it so the World doesn't really need a leader that preaches love, right? All one has to do is look at the preceding comments to see how self-sufficient, how self-satisfied and self-validating people are today.

"We discussed this on The KOS yesterda-- Oh wait, I've never been there."

--American Unotme

AU,

Try percocet with robitussin or delsym, any thing with dextromethorphan (DXM).

Personaly I don't like the combo but some people love it. I think the trick is to go easy on the DXM.

The world as we know it, is in such wonderful shape without Jesus, isn't it so the World doesn't really need a leader that preaches love, right? All one has to do is look at the preceding comments to see how self-sufficient, how self-satisfied and self-validating people are today.

#48 | Posted by acommontater

I doubt that you have ever seen a world that was not colored by the concept of a Jesus.

It's funny that this thread came up. I was talking to a very angry lady yesterday who wanted to use a Ouija Board to contact her dead husband so she could give him "a kick in the ass" (her words) for leaving her without any money.

#20 | Posted by Twinpac

This after she "shopped until she dropped"?

#50 | Posted by TaoWarrior

I get sick on opiate pills. Doc gave me a script a few weeks ago for this shoulder injury. Still in the bottle after the 2nd pill led to the same result ...

Cookfish pops 'em like candy with booze. Bad combo for the liver. Maybe turns him into an annoying snarky troll 24/7/365 too. Or he's just that way anyway. Who knows? Annoying little broken record troll either way.

The world as we know it, is in such wonderful shape without Jesus

Yes, it is. When "Jesus" or any other fool's imaginary friend enters the picture, things have a tendency to get fucked up rather quickly.

the World doesn't really need a leader that preaches love

Love, yes. That is something you can get anywhere, not just from a salesmen of Christian superstition. Hypocrisy is among the largest contributions of Christianity to our civilization, and it is a gift we could do without.

AU I take vikes for the MS. It helps but not enough I also have to take gabapentin which reduces the effect of opiates. My doc has talked with me about switching from 5's to 10's but I won't do it after almost 2 years of vikes I am up to 3 a day so I have some adiction issues but what the heck is the choice? Constant pain or opiate addiction. If I can keep it down to 3 a day of the lowest dose opiate avalible I will be happy for now. Maybe one day they will cure MS and I will kick the vikes but until then if I can keep it under control I will be happy.

I found out about the DMX and opiates a couple weeks ago when I had a cough that wouldn't go away I took delsym and within 15 min knew something was wrong googled and sure enough well known issues. It was interesting since delsym lasts 12 hours trying to time everything to keep the cough down and still satisfy the vike addiction.

By the way, when was the last time a christian hijacked an airplane and crashed it into a tall building in a large city?
Christians and jews will tell you 9-11 as god's doing, because RudiG wore a dress or something.

Hell, when christians want to go all mavericky, they build their own cities to do it in-Belsen and Auschwitz come to mind.

For a bunch of cultists who believe their god is way better than anybody else's god, christians are the biggest scaredy cats out there. Gays at disneyland, harry potter books, ouija boards, happy holidays, etc. get them wetting their pants.
Don't they trust their god? I mean can't he handle some 11 year old geek-wizard?

#55 | Posted by TaoWarrior

My injury's taken a few weeks and almost mended, but thanks for the tips. I may need them in the future should this reemerge. I appreciate it.

I'd like to add you seem like a really good person. With all the pain and struggles you face on a daily basis, you come here with a pleasant attitude and a thoughtful mind every time. Never a cross word to others. If some in this world could be half that it'd be a better place. Enjoy the game :-)

I think it is cool that two people voted Ja!

She's from France; He's from Germany.

Uoi! Ja?

OuiJaOuiJaOuiJaOuiJaOuiJaOuiJa
OuiJaOuiJaOuiJaOuiJaOuiJaOuiJa
OuiJaOuiJaOuiJaOuiJaOuiJaOuiJa
OuiJaOuiJaOuiJa

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
h

Oui? Ja!

AU,

Thanks and no problem if you ever need opiate tips let me know I am getting more experiance than I would like with them and interactions (some times I forget I have taken a vicodin and learn the hard way)

I try to always think before I type it isn't that hard but it makes me seem like a much more plesant and inteligent person than just firing off my first reaction to things. Now if only life were like the internets and I could stop and think before I act or open my mouth but sadly life moves to fast for that.

FROM THE ARTICLE: "The difference is that the Ouija board is actually is a portal to talk to spirits and it's hard to get people to understand that until they actually do it. I don't pretend to know how it works, but it actually does."

Okay, that's just wierd, coming from a "Christian"...

"It's pink," he said. "That wouldn't appeal to me when I was 8."

This is even wierder...

"The children's sleepover staple sold by Hasbro since 1967"

Since 1967? I'm guessing it's not quite as efficient as this loon claims at leaving your spirit vulnerable.

My sister had one growing up and I think they used it to scare the hell out of each other during sleep-overs. The modern day equivalent of ghost-stories.

"The difference is that the Ouija board is actually is a portal to talk to spirits and it's hard to get people to understand that until they actually do it. I don't pretend to know how it works, but it actually does. - Christians shouldn't use it.

Then don't buy it. But don't tell me what I can fucking buy or not buy.

"The world as we know it, is in such wonderful shape without Jesus, isn't it so the World doesn't really need a leader that preaches love, right?
#48 | Posted by acommontater...

The problem is that 80% of you nut-job christians do not practice that 'love' you claim your jesus stands for. Instead, you spend all your time hating people. gays, Feminists, Atheists, 'libruls', foreigners, aliens, illegal aliens...

the list is endless, moron.

End of story

Once you give yourself over to superstition, demon Ouija seems reasonable.

Oddly, I've heard the same sort of warnings from some folks I know at the opposite end of the spiritual spectrum. Wiccan/New Age types. They felt that, as with any ecosystem, there are predators "out there". One of them said that messing around with a Ouija board was like going out for a walk in grizzly territory in a bacon suit.

That's not "the opposite end of the spectrum," Rincewind.

I doubt that you have ever seen a world that was not colored by the concept of a Jesus.

But, maybe you could just Imagine what it might be like.

You may say I'm a Dreamer but I am not the only one.

I hope some day you join us.

#51 | Posted by donnerboy

Sure we've all seen a world with Jesus. Just look at any indigenous tribe. Not "our" God, but the native peoples have their "gods" too.

And so do you. Your's is called Green. And Green has all the same mystical powers that all gods possess.

Why Green even has the power to corrupt scientists into fraudulently proving his existence! Now that is some true mysticism at work.